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OP: Back To Skool

Educashun

By Horatio Hellpop (Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 01:38:46 AM EST) (all tags)

DAY 19:

Boundaries.
Do you modern ladies have them?
Warning: This entry is not for the squeamish.

Look, we've been smoking buddies for 4 weeks now, but as an Old Guy, I feel I have a certain responsibility to tell you something.

That something is that it is ALWAYS too early in the morning to tell me about just how your step-grandfather gave you the Bad Touch when you were six and that your Gramma hates you for setting forth the Chain of Events that led to Grampy being deported.

Seriously. It's my first Maple Bar o' the morning, cup o' Joe in my hand and chain-smokin' muh 'Ports, with a test loomin' on the 45-minute horizon.
This is not a good time for me to mentally accommodate the image of your li'l proto-cooter getting twiddled.

Why are you telling me this? Are you aware that I have my own Mental Health Issues to handle? Do I look like mother-fuckin' Officer Friendly? Did I accidentally don my Staff Chaplain jacket this morning? WTF?

Ladies-- what the Hell happened here today?

< 2007.10.11: Shiraz | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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OP: Back To Skool | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

It's all about a proper introduction by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 2) #1 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 02:14:55 AM EST

"Hi, my name is Paul, and I don't care about you or your feelings. I would ask what your name is, but that, too, holds no interest for me."

That, or a well-placed "That's hot".

-
You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.

: yoo ow mee nw kybr4d bit h by Horatio Hellpop (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 02:17:21 AM EST

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

She's just making sure you know... by chuckles (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 02:38:37 AM EST

... she has experience being intimate with Old Guys. It's your signal to make a move.

Skateboarding is a crime.

: I see. by Horatio Hellpop (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 09:30:58 AM EST

Well, because I'm a dedicated student, on the Monk Path, that'll just have to be played out in an alternate parallel universe.
"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

Would you prefer... by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 02:54:14 AM EST

...hearing about it in the middle of fucking her? How about followed by, "Now do $SuperPerverted to me"?

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

That's something a sociopath would do! by Horatio Hellpop (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 09:29:02 AM EST

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

: I am not a sociopath! [nt] by debacle (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 01:01:42 PM EST

"I'm very responsive to certain stimuli, and pain is pretty much at the top of that list." - BadDoggie

[ Parent ]

Is this a trick question? by discordia (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 12:48:54 PM EST

...yes?

[ Parent ]

I was wrong about you by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #17 Sat Oct 13, 2007 at 04:42:40 AM EST

I figured you for a lame-o "troll" k5 refugee, then a reactionary anti-"troll" (I'm putting that in quotes since, as an accomplished troll, I'd hardly consider douchebags crapflooding to be "trolling"), but you're funny, and seemingly a decent human being. So, I'm sorry. And keep up the good work.

-
You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]

: thanks I think by discordia (4.00 / 1) #19 Sun Oct 14, 2007 at 12:45:53 AM EST

although if I were you I'd just suspend judgement until you get more data. I could turn into a flaming fuckwit at a moments notice, never can tell.

[ Parent ]

she'll at least by moonvine (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 09:01:09 AM EST

fuck you like a porn star.

seriously, maybe she just felt comfortable enough with you to spew her past on you. she trusts you. for these things, i guess there is just no perfect time in casual discourse.

modern ladies have plenty of boundaries.

That's the by Horatio Hellpop (2.00 / 0) #6 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 09:26:30 AM EST

very last thing I had expected you to post.
The very foundation of my e-world is shattered.

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

Dearest Horatio, by moonvine (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 09:39:13 AM EST

have we met? im a bit out of the loop here. maybe there is something i can do to glue your e-world back together ; )

your comment made me laugh. funny guy, you.

[ Parent ]

No, we haven't met. by Horatio Hellpop (2.00 / 0) #15 Sat Oct 13, 2007 at 01:42:59 AM EST

However, I have had conjugal relations with the president of your fan club.

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

: ah yes. by moonvine (4.00 / 1) #20 Mon Oct 15, 2007 at 10:34:34 AM EST

i stalked your past comments and i had my suspicions, and now they have been confirmed. im so smart. good you for going back to school. that's awesome!
i have a fan club? ah. i have always felt like the adoring fan.

[ Parent ]

Making friends by muchagecko (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 11:09:13 AM EST

is something you haven't done much in the last few years. It's good to see you socialize.

"It means more if you have to earn it, even if it's by doing something as simple as eating a meal." Kellnerin

: Yes, ha-ha. Thanks. by Horatio Hellpop (2.00 / 0) #16 Sat Oct 13, 2007 at 01:44:02 AM EST

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

She wants your cawk. by debacle (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Oct 12, 2007 at 01:02:25 PM EST

If you don't give it to her, she will take it.

"I'm very responsive to certain stimuli, and pain is pretty much at the top of that list." - BadDoggie

Dude by Horatio Hellpop (2.00 / 0) #14 Sat Oct 13, 2007 at 01:41:18 AM EST

You are under-cutting my lofty ideals.

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here
[ Parent ]

: Take it when you can get it by debacle (2.00 / 0) #18 Sat Oct 13, 2007 at 12:35:22 PM EST

You fool.
"I'm very responsive to certain stimuli, and pain is pretty much at the top of that list." - BadDoggie

[ Parent ]

OP: Back To Skool | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback