Print Story Life...Don't Talk To Me About Life
Diary
By Mrs FlightTest (Mon Jan 08, 2007 at 06:39:02 PM EST) (all tags)
First ramblings of 2007.
Cure for insomnia within.


Dunno where to start, have been a bit "out of it" lately....so guess I'll just ramble on incoherently.

  1. Personal Health:
  2. Seems the radiation has taken it's toll. The right breast is now noticeably smaller than the left. I am lopsided enough that my bra now pulls to the left, making it uncomfortable.
    I have been coughing since the end of September when I got to take my first official ride in an ambulance & FT got to experience calling 9-1-1 for a family member. I woke up at around 2 am unable to breathe, gasping for breath. The nice firemen arrived and hooked me up with some 02 which helped quite a bit. They then asked me which hospital I wanted to go to. I chose Los Al since that is where I had my surgery. I got a "fun" ride on the gurney down the driveway toward the waiting ambulance. I seriously thought the damn thing was gonna topple over with me helplessly strapped to it, because the silly paramedics took me down sideways, even though one of the firemen said to be sure not to go down sideways. Once at the ER I got to sit and wait while continuing to cough & piss my pants. I had been coughing for 4 days prior to this event. After 2 breathing treatments, a chest x-ray and some blood sucked out of my arm, they turned me loose with an inhaler & prescription for antibiotics; admonishing me to make a follow-up appointment with my PCP.
    The PCP determined I likely had bronchitis of some sort, ordered a follow-up x-ray and a different inhaler along with some steroids (just in case it is asthma).
    It is now January and I am still coughing! I have made several trips & phone calls to the PCP, got more antibiotics, more steroids, phenegren with codeine, some pills to suppress the cough and finally a referral to a pulmonary specialist.
    The pulmonary guy had me have a few different pulmonary function tests to determine for sure if I have asthma. He also gave me yet another inhaler. He also sent me for a CT of the chest.
    Turns out I have a small pericardial effusion, so my PCP is now referring me for an echocardiogram and a consult with a cardiologist. Oh joy.
    My thermostat is still broken, although there has been some improvement with taking the Black Cohosh. According to the PA we saw the last time I visited the oncologist, I can take as much as I need to kick the hot flashes to the curb. I doubt anything other than getting back on HRT would completely get rid of them, but ah well, at this point I'll take what I can get since the meanie docs won't give me back my hormones.
    In a couple weeks I get to go have my teeth drilled. Apparently I have a nice cavity under an old silver filing, so they will drill the old one out, drill a bit deeper & then put in a nice new filing that is tooth colored. I can hardly wait!

  3. Adoption:
  4. We have an appointment with our new social worker on the 13th. With any luck we will be able to turn in all of our paperwork to her at that time. I really want to be a mommie, but damned if this isn't the hardest way to go about it. There are so many hoops to jump through and personal questions to be answered. I still need to get a photo album together that can be presented to potential children. Since we want an older child (at least 7 or 8 yrs old) they get to have a say in the adoption. Just like the books waiting parents make for birth parents, we will be making a photo book for our future child. Hopefully there is a child out there, just waiting for some goofy looking, but loving parents.

  5. Dad's Girlfriends Health:
  6. Stupid woman is in a lot of pain since Christmas, so what does she do? She cancels her doc appt!!! She has a foot long mass in her belly that they want to remove this year, but they are not sure if it is cancer or not. They scooped out her left breast & gave her radiation to shrink tumors on her spine, then gave her a complete physical inside & out. She almost had my dad call 9-1-1 again the other night because she was in so much pain, but changed her mind. I am thinking of starting a pool as to when she will die! I know it sounds mean, but she is pissing me off. She doesn't stop to think for one minute what this is doing to my dad.
    She made the comment the other day when her brother was over, that she has fought the cancer for over 10 years. Like HELL! She hasn't fought a damned thing, all she has done is taken the ostrich approach and kept her fat stupid head in the sand.
    Then dad also informed me that she hasn't taken a dump in over 5 days. Thats a fine way to wind up with a serious blockage and or infection (sepsis) that can lead straight to death, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00. She has a freakin tumor in her gut for god's sake. I think the cancer long since ate away her friggin brain.

  7. School:
  8. I am taking mostly PE classes this semester. I have actually been getting up at the butt crack of dawn (it is actually still dark out) to go to the school gym for 30 min. Typically I use the cross trainer, but have used the treadmill & the upright bike. I then rush back home, jump in the shower, grab a bite to eat then head to work. I am hoping to shed a few unwanted/unneeded pounds. The class keeps repeating, so if I can manage to keep this up, I will re-enroll.
    My resting heart-rate is usually around 100, so I need to get that lower. With exercise it usually goes up to 180 or 190. My PE class with coach starts again next week, so I will be able to get some direction. With any luck I will be able to get coach to hook me up with one of his grad students that is working on becoming a personal trainer. They have to do a certain number of hours of "practice". Hey, "practice" on me why dontcha!!
    I am also taking a class on a digital photo album. I am hoping that it will help me prepare something snazzy for the kidlet to look at (see adoption above). FT will be back at school soon as well.

  9. Mom's mental status:
  10. Man oh man, does this take the cake. It has been brought to my attention that my mom is becoming increasingly delusional. She seems to think that:
    • My dad will come running home to her as soon as the gf bites the dust.
    • My so-called brother will leave his bitch & loin fruit, stop going to synagogue & return to his childhood home (her house) and attend church with her.

    • And lastly that:
    • I will leave FT (because he treats me so poorly - her words) and come live with all of them.

    In her mind we will all be one big happy family again and live happily ever after.

HEY WAKE UP!!! It's over, you're at the end!

< 22:53 | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Life...Don't Talk To Me About Life | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Sounds like by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 03:13:18 AM EST
There's a lot of fear running through your family. Reasonable, with at least two of you suffering through cancer.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

3 actually by Mrs FlightTest (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 07:18:08 PM EST
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about 4 years ago, my dad's girlfriend just this past August I think & me March of 2006.

Wheeee...Flyin` is Fun!!

Wheeee...Flyin' is Fun!!

[ Parent ]
I am teh puzzled by anonimouse (4.00 / 2) #2 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 03:34:59 AM EST
Surely your father can put considerable pressure on teh girlfriend?

Brother: I have not followed teh background to this. Why so called brother? Are the words "bitch and loin fruit" your words or her words too?

<insert tongue into face pouch>I commiserate with you over the terrible way FT treats you. </remove tongue from face pouch>


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
family issues by Mrs FlightTest (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 07:25:38 PM EST
Nope, dad doesn't do well with confrontations. He is more likely to let her do what she wants. When she yells at him, he is like a little kid & sticks his tongue out at her behind her back.

So called brother (my words) because he is a total ass. He has never once visited my dad since he moved & barely helps my mom when she needs/requests it. (He only lives about 20 miles from her, whereas I live over 60 miles from her).
Even his mil considers his wife a bitch. The bitch doesn't speak to or let her kids visit grandparents (or other relatives come to think of it). She has his spine & balls in a glass on her nightstand!

Wheeee...Flyin` is Fun!!

Wheeee...Flyin' is Fun!!

[ Parent ]
i was going to say something... by clock (4.00 / 3) #3 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 03:53:57 AM EST
...about the way that FT treats you in vegas, but i just didn't have the courage.  he's such a meanie, that guy.  good lord.  time to get mom off of the happy pills, methinks.

as to your future kidlet:  good luck!  i have seen others clear the hurdles, so i know you can do it!  in a previous life, i looked into it and it's daunting.  the fact that you are so willing to take on an older child (the ones that need it most) will work in your favor (you knew that).  i honestly admire that.  it takes special people to do that and i'm sure you'll be fantastic!

so make with the photo album and paperwork!  there's a little kid out there who wants to ride in an airplane JUST FOR FUN!

and you know where we are if you need anything.  i really do hope you feel better soon.  that just sucks.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

Good thing you didn't say anything .... by FlightTest (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 10:03:47 AM EST
I'd have kicked your ass! (yeah, right!)

We're going to try to send you a blank questionnaire that we had to fill out. Just thank gord you didn't have fill one out before knocking up Mrs. McClocky. All kinds of inane questions that don't really have answers better than "it depends on the situation".

From what we've heard and seen, getting an older child pretty much moves us to the front of the line. There are a lot that need homes.

We'll keep you informed, either here or by other means if it's something we don't want to post.

[ Parent ]
well after... by clock (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 10:13:11 AM EST
...seeing you beat...oh who am i kidding?  you couldn't even beat me to the buffet for seconds!

yeah, the forms are hell, but worth it.

please do keep us in the loop!  we're rooting for ya!



I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
thanks... by Mrs FlightTest (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 07:28:29 PM EST
as for the happy pills..... if only she were on them, maybe she wouldn't have these wild fantasies. Although I have only heard about it from her roommate & something she mentioned to mil at Christmas dinner. Don't think mom is stupid enough to say anything of the kind in my pressence. She knows I don't mince words & don't pull punches. I just tells it like it is.

Wheeee...Flyin` is Fun!!

Wheeee...Flyin' is Fun!!

[ Parent ]
Cancer versus Doctors appointments by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 2) #4 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 04:02:32 AM EST
My dad died because he ignored the pain until the tumors were too large to do anything about and even then the only reason my mom knew about the cancer is because she found a letter from the doctor.

On the other hand, after having been repeatedly abused by doctors only to be told there wasn't much they could do for me, I understand his point of view. I've come to hate going to doctors.

--
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

Feh. I need to add a bit of background to that. by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 04:08:44 AM EST
Dad had a bad back for 20 years before he died; the doctors couldn't do anything for him and he had long since learned to ignore constant pain and just get on with life.

The only really sad part about it is that for six months before he found out he had cancer he was really proud of himself because he was losing weight.

--
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

[ Parent ]
that is sad by Mrs FlightTest (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 07:31:40 PM EST
as for hating docs..... yeah I do too, but I also hate feeling like shit, therefore, I relent & go to the quacks docs just to see which one has the best waiting room!

Wheeee...Flyin` is Fun!!

Wheeee...Flyin' is Fun!!

[ Parent ]
On the other hand, by FlightTest (4.00 / 2) #12 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 07:29:43 PM EST

Had FIL's g/f gone to the doctor 15 fucking years ago when she first noticed the lump, I'm quite confident she wouldn't be about to die now.



[ Parent ]
*hugs* by kwsNI (4.00 / 2) #6 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 07:58:10 AM EST
We still think of you out here in Maryland.  Glad to hear you're hangin in there.  Hope that the adoption stuff goes well too. 

thanks (n/t) by Mrs FlightTest (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Jan 09, 2007 at 07:32:52 PM EST

Wheeee...Flyin` is Fun!!

Wheeee...Flyin' is Fun!!

[ Parent ]
*hug* by duxup (4.00 / 2) #15 Thu Jan 11, 2007 at 06:33:41 AM EST
n/t
____
Life...Don't Talk To Me About Life | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback