I probably showed up a bit too early, but that's another story.

It's the between-times that are most interesting to me as they provide the greatest freedom from bound thought. I seem less constrained in these moments, no matter how much I hate them. So, I figured, bang for my buck, let's go with beer. Quantity vs. price it's going to keep a good long mellow buzz for the flight and I can moderate myself properly so I hit my changeover just right in Las Vegas in a couple hours.

See how responsible I am?

"Oh.. you have Stella.. wow. Well I should be good, do you have like.. Sam Adams light?"
"No.. here's what we have."
"Oh.. fuck it then.. gimme the stella."

Later she stopped by after about 3 of these, and started chatting me up. "Oh.. you know some days just aren't calorie days. I was on Weight Watchers and stressing myself out but I had to give it up. I mean, I lost like 65 pounds but still.."

To which I said, "Wow.. 65? Wow... congrats."

And you know what? I fuckin' meant it. I wish the world existed as it seems when I am tipsy... it's comfier that way. Normally I'd have been such as, "Oh.. 65? Bullshit..." or "Why are you telling me this."

But now, no.. I was serious. I was really proud of this woman I didn't know. I cared about her special needs kid who she's working to pay for the day nurse toward. She tells me she never gets to drink because she's so worried she'll fuck up when taking care of him. I cared in that moment.

Then again maybe it's the fact that she calls me "Doll" and everyone else is "sir", who knows?

After 3 weeks away from your homebase it leaves you a little shattered and jittery. I think if I did this all the time I would be better quipped, but I'm captain mixed feelings in this moment. It is nice to go back to a place of swaddling clothes and the hint of old scents and sights, but at the same time, the pseudo-adventure adjustment will deter the menial mind from making sense of it all.

I am also charging my brand new consumer whore ipod off of the company's laptop which is running off of battery power. So I'm charging a battery with a battery. It's like conserving water and portioning it out or something. The idea of power as this actual, real item that you could almost hold and quantify (I mean beyond what the electric companies do) is an amusing thing. Like managing your Hitpoints potions in some Turn Based RPG.

That was a terrible metaphor and a sure sign that the thoughts I had thought aren't worth the time I invested in thinking them. So, I will big you adieu, and I will bid "Karen" adieu and wish her well with her special needs son.

-Q