Print Story I'm not shy on Mondays (a-ooh-a-ooh-a)
Diary
By gazbo (Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 02:06:21 AM EST) (all tags)
Well, a lot (i.e - nothing) has been going on in my life since we last spoke, so I thought I should probably tell you about it.

I shall tell you about such things as how I dabbled with open source evangelism, how I injured myself climbing, possibly ramble on about music a bit...I guess we'll just have to see won't we?



Open Source Hippie:

That is to say I would appear to be one.  A friend of mine has bought a new computer and needed to put Office on it.  She borrowed a copy from a friend, and then phoned me up with a query.  Noticing it had a product key, she feared it would somehow track her down as a pirate and she'd end up as someone's lesbian love-bitch in jail or something.

I reassured her that product keys are nothing to worry about, and her only problem was if it needed activation.  Cue a call 10 minutes later saying it needed activation.  At this point she resigned herself to buying a copy, for about £90 or so.

"Hold the fuck on," I said, "Why not just install Open Office - it'll do everything you need and is free".  And it will; she's a primary school teacher and so needs basic word processing only.  OO can easily cope with that sort of document and import/export from Word.  So after several minutes of explaining the concept of what free means "No, you don't need to worry about the fact you can't activate Office.  This is a different piece of software.  NO.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACTIVATE IT." she finally understood.

She came round several hours later.  I looked at her: "You bought a copy of Office didn't you?"  Of course she had.  Her excuse (because we all know that the real reason is as far as she's concerned Office has the only word processor in existence, and anything else I suggested clearly cannot meet her needs - especially with this whole confusing "free" malarkey) was that she needed to do some work right then, and couldn't download OO (see below).

Uncharacteristically I refrained from suggesting that she could just have easily have typed it in notepad, because all she'd need to do to finish it off in Office is press ctrl-A and select 14pt bold MS Comic Sans.  C'mon, you know it's true.

lol noob:

Yeah, her boyfriend (my housemate) asked me for help with the modem (old skool 56k!).  Apparently it wouldn't work because it didn't get a dial-tone.  After probing for more info, I discovered that plugging the modem into the phone system killed the dial tone for every phone in the house.

From this I amazingly surmised that there was a fairly significant hardware problem, and suggested they perhaps try a new cable.  There followed much conversation on the phone about different cable and connector types, made difficult by the fact I couldn't see what they saw.  A few days later my housemate came home with some interweb page printouts from the computer manufacturer's site.

"It's error 619 [or whatever it is] - no dialtone," he informed me, before going through the usual list of troubleshooting suggestions (turn off answerphone etc).  "Maybe I need to look for drivers?"  "No, it's a hardware fault.  It's killing the whole phone system."  "But this is the exact error we're getting - error 619"  "Yes, and we've already ascertained there's no dialtone BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCKING HEAR ONE THROUGH THE PHONE!  THE HARDWARE'S CAUSING THE PROBLEM!"  "But these are the solutions from the manufacturer"  "WHEN YOU PLUG THE MODEM IN IT TAKES DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKING PHONE SYSTEM IN THE HOUSE!  IT IS NOT A SOFTWARE ISSUE!  IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING THAT FAR!  IF YOU PLUGGED YOUR COMPUTER INTO THE MAINS AND IT BLEW UP WOULD YOU GO LOOKING FOR DRIVERS?"

Next day I got a phonecall "It turns out we'd plugged the phone cable into the network card instead of the modem."

Climbing:

Went bouldering at Shipley Glen last weekend.  I took a very unexpected fall from about 6 foot up.  Not sure what happened exactly - either my hand or foot must have just pinged off - but I do know I fell backwards, which is not exactly the ideal way to fall.  I managed to flail my feet back far enough that I didn't land on my back or head, but unfortunately this also meant my feet didn't land on the path, instead landing on the steep rock bank behind.

I was worried that I might have broken my toe or (worse) my ankle, but after I'd let the pain subside for a few minutes, I found they were both fine (though maybe a bit bruised round the joint).  Then the guy I was climbing with pointed out the big gash on my shin.  Because of the slope I'd landed on, my shin took the weight of my fall as well as my foot, and the rock had split the skin down to the bone.  There was a comedy patch of hair glued to the rock where it had torn off my shin.

After sitting still for 5 minutes to stem the bleeding and calm down (adrenaline-induced shakes aren't exactly helpful) I tried again and got straight up the climb.  Fuck it right up its ass.

I now have a big scab is very hard to avoid picking, but will bleed profusely if I do :(

Music (mine):

Not doing as much as I want.  I really wish I could work 3-4 day weeks so I could have some time to myself just for music.  Snatching 2 hours after work a couple of nights a week isn't even long enough to get into the project at hand, let alone do anything productive.  I REALLY need to find some way around this as it is actually depressing me that I can't get into my most favouritest hobby.

On the plus side, the UAD-1 plugs are simply amazing.  I can heartily recommend the cards, even though they are "old tech" and not really as powerful as they perhaps should be this day and age.  Still, I can always buy more if freezing tracks gets too much to handle.

Music (other people's):

Sugababes are releasing a greatest hits.  This will feature a grand total of 2 new tracks, one of which (Easy) will be released as a single anyway.  Given I have all 4 albums already, my incentive to buy is roughly 3%

Girls Aloud are, amusingly, also releasing one.  I think this features 3 or 4 new tracks, one of which (Something Kinda Oooh) will be a single - in case anyone's not heard it yet, it is a dancefloor stormer, and includes the word "tutu" right where it quite splendidly makes least sense.  Given I own all 3 albums already, my incentive to buy is roughly 13%.  EXCEPT!  There is a limited edition run including a bonus disc of unreleased demos etc.  You cunning, evil bastards!  Incentive to buy: 95%. 

Robbie Williams' song Rudebox.  I have given it a chance, and it is still dire, pointless, and faintly embarrassing.  It also has nothing whatsoever in common with JT's Sexyback, and I really wish people would stop talking as if it did.

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I'm not shy on Mondays (a-ooh-a-ooh-a) | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
A greatest hits album with new tracks? by Cloaked User (4.00 / 2) #1 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 04:57:05 AM EST
How long have the tracks been hits for, exactly?


--
This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity.
Idea for TV show: by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 3) #2 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 04:59:37 AM EST
Girls Aloud & Sugababes in 'Greatest Tits' showdown.

Sorry everyone. Zero away.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]
It is an interesting concept by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 06:00:08 AM EST
Maybe the album should be called "Album containing various hits amongst other material".

In Sugababes' case, they've not even put all their hit singles on.  This means that from an abstract point of view it's not actually any different from any of their other albums in that it only contains a subset of singles, and non-singles on top.

MADNESS.


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
I shall address each topic in turn by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #3 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 05:25:10 AM EST
Open Office - I got so annoyed with this programme constantly reverting to a certain font size and typeface no matter how much I told it not to that I ditched it and started using Wordpad instead. I tried everything and am pretty sure it was a bug.

Maybe I'll try and download it again, the hippies might have a different version by now. Though judging by Firefox's "upgrades" I'm not sure it'll be any better.

Bouldering - ah yes, that's why I'm scared of heights. It's called intelligence. (Only joking, glad it wasn't serious).

Did you go to the bonkers 1960s fairground at the top of Shipley Glen? I'll give a tenner to anyone who goes on rollercoaster made out of rotten wood and rusty iron rivets.

Girls Aloud - Well, I'll be buying it of course. According to the News of the World Nadine's really good in bed, which has given me something to *ahem* think about.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

Stuff by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 06:05:44 AM EST
No, didn't go to the fairground.  Ventured no further than the rocks and the ice-cream place near a pub a bit further down.  Rickety rusty rollercoasters sound like a great drunken location though.

How did we discover she's good in bed?  Seems unlikely that Jesse would spill the beans (ooh-err) seeing as they're still very much in wuv.  Of course NotW doesn't exactly need watertight sources in order to print a full-page story.

Of the group I'd have picked Sarah as the one with mad bedroom skillz...


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
I think it was an ex-boyfriend by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #7 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 06:33:18 AM EST
Luckily not the same one who spilled the beans to NoW about his night of passion with some minor Royal or other and galantly observed that "She was older than me and has had a few kids, if you know what I mean, but she made up for it in other ways."

How charming.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Oh yes: open source stuff by gazbo (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 06:32:38 AM EST
OO has worked well enough for me, but that's possibly because I use it to write an average of one shortish document a month and so haven't discovered its shitness quotient fully.

But seriously, my comment about MS Comic Sans: is it really that far off the mark for a primary school teacher?  It's not like she'll be doing feckin' pivot tables.

Firefox.  Oh, Firefox, Firefox, Firefox.  As a web developer I've always had Firefox installed just to test compatibility, and always thought it was decent.  However, I never had an incentive to "switch".

After an MS update a few weeks back, my work installation of IE has become very unstable and crashes regularly (half-hourly perhaps?) so there was the impetus to switch fully.  So at home and work I made FF my default and have conditioned myself to use it.

What a sack of shit.  I don't care what people tell me, or what benchmarks they shove in my face, Firefox is a memory-leaking hog that runs at the speed of my fucking grandma.  And it crashes regularly.  I'm sure it wasn't always this bad.  I still use it at work (am now, in fact) but sometimes have to switch back to my fucked IE when it gets really bad.

Yup, Firefox is cruddy enough that sometimes I prefer to use a broken IE install than suffer it :(


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Firefox by komet (4.00 / 2) #11 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 07:58:49 AM EST
does indeed leak memory like a leaky sieve with a hole punched in it and perform like my grandma carrying a sack of potatoes, a complete set of 50s crockery from the car boot sale, and three tiffany lampshades up ten flights of stairs while the Rottweiler she's got on a leash is trying to go downstairs. I understand it converts every bitmap on the current page to uncompressed 24 bit Windows GDI objects. You can crash the entire OS by putting a few hundred modestly-sized jpegs onto a page.

You should try Opera. For developing CSS pages it's great, and it also doesn't use all your memory. I think it uses less memory than IE, but there's no easy way to tell how much memory IE is using.

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<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

[ Parent ]
Hmm by gazbo (4.00 / 2) #12 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 08:22:34 AM EST
Opera's properly free now, isn't it?  I may just give it a darned go.

Not that I can think of any TGPswebpages that have a few hundred pics on a page.


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Yes, it's free by komet (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 11:27:50 AM EST
as in ride when you've already paid, but I don't think it's O'Penn's Horse yet. Whatever it is, it's really rather good, in the same way that I'm really rather drunk now.

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<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
Just installed it by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Sep 19, 2006 at 08:01:04 AM EST
Based on a massive 5 minutes of use (and counting), I'm already loving it.  I've not actually discovered any of the distinguishing functionality yet, but in just basic use it is FAST AS FUCK.

Currently task manager reports it's using almost exactly the same ram as IE (27MB) whereas FireFox is running at a big-boned 73MB.  This is not a truly fair test as they've all been used for different pages etc, but still: damn.


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Me too by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #14 Tue Sep 19, 2006 at 12:31:17 AM EST
Should have done it ages ago.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Agreed, it leaks by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #16 Tue Sep 26, 2006 at 07:47:39 AM EST
And it has that annoying bug that makes ' open the search bar after a while of memory hemorrhaging. But Firefox has tabbed browsing, so beats IE. And quicksearches, and loads of excellent extensions.

I especially like the one where you can add the quicksearches to your context menu. Highlight a word on any page, and you can apply any quicksearch you have set up on that word. Dictionary, thesaurus, Wiki or acronym lookups, Amazon product search, Streetmap for postcodes or street names, Unix man pages, IMDB searches. All just from highlighting a word or phrase and selecting the quicksearch you want. V cool.

[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 06:40:39 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by yicky yacky



FUCK OFF by gazbo (4.00 / 2) #9 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 07:05:45 AM EST
YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD.

Yeah, we're very naughty.  But as you say, it's just not "the done thing" for some reason.  And God knows that when climbing I'm principally concerned with what strangers think of me...


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #10 Mon Sep 18, 2006 at 07:09:43 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by yicky yacky



[ Parent ]
I'm not shy on Mondays (a-ooh-a-ooh-a) | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback