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By Kellnerin (Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 06:37:51 AM EST) (all tags)
#4


I'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT the elevator screens. On the left side of the screen headlines rotate with trivia and Words-of-the-Day with terrible example sentences that fail to cast any kind of light on the highlighted word: "Zoe invited friends over for an evening of badinage over a bottle – or two – of pinot."

The right side of the screen is usually reserved for ads, either for local businesses (a law firm specializing in intellectual property is a steady customer) or for the elevator screen service itself. Lately they've added "Daily Meditations" to the mix, though each time I've noticed one, it has been the same -- Daily Meditation #4. The heading comes up and there's a slight pause before the meditation itself flies in from the bottom of the screen, like a Vonage ad or one of those old hit-the-monkey banners. Now the whole point of this medium is that it cycles relatively fast, in order to expose the viewer to as much as possible in the course of a single elevator ride, but I find that philosophy is not quite fitting to something called a "meditation." Trying to read it in my head at a calm, relaxed, guided-visualization kind of pace, I found that the message flickered away before I could finish.

So it was not until I'd caught it a few times that I absorbed the full text of Daily Meditation #4: MY BRILLIANCE IS A BEACON FOR LEADERS AND INFLUENCERS.

I walked out of the elevator meditating on the validity of the word "influencers," and on the wisdom of saving that nugget for last, like a compact lexical koan, but other than that I think I'm ready to move on to Meditation #5.


THE OTHER WEEK D AND I had houseguests, a couple visiting from Bermuda for a few days. We took them out to a Chinese restaurant the last night they were here. At the end of the meal, when the check came, D pushed the tray into the middle of the table and said, "Ah, let's all open our statement cookies."

J cracked his open. "If you constantly give, you will constantly have," he read aloud. "Empty pockets?"


OVERHEARD IN THE OFFICE on Friday:

"You know what's cruel? A Munchkins box with a banana in it."


DURING MY COMMUTE YESTERDAY morning, I caught the end of Jewel's "Who Will Save Your Soul" on the radio. The DJ came on afterwards to mention that they were "programming with care" that day with an eye (or ear) toward commemorative or uplifting songs, and were welcoming requests in that vein. He went on to introduce John Mellencamp's "Peaceful World."

Meanwhile, on FNX, they were playing "Peaches," the classic by The Presidents of the United States of America.

One upside to the approach of fall, with its shortened days and cooler temperatures, is the end of the FNX "Commercial-Few Summer." I have no objection to the concept of a radio station playing fewer ads than usual -- in fact, that's a terrific idea. The problem I had was that half the commercials they did play seemed to be ones advertising the Commercial-Few Summer itself. The spots did not talk about how they were playing fewer commercials -- that concept was pretty self-explanatory. Most of them focused on the phrase itself, like their marketing department couldn't get over their cleverness in coining the term. "It's like commercial-free, geddit, but it's commercial-few." Most of the ads were some variation on this, with some of them anticipating the "hey, that's not a word" criticism (although I don't know when advertisers decided that they had to limit themselves to using real words). "The FNX Commercial-Few Summer. It's not grammatical, but we're just too darned tickled by it not to force it on you every time we'd otherwise be playing an ad."

I'd rather they be grammar-sparse and annoyance-few.


YESTERDAY'S ELEVATOR WORD of the day: Beatitude.
(N.) BE-AT'-I-TUD - supreme happiness
Henry woke up in a state of beatitude on Friday.

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Daily Meditation | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
10 in a row weekend by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 08:07:37 AM EST
I think they mean 10 minutes, not 10 songs. At least that's been my impression.

But every time I hear that I'm constantly reminded by Tracey Ulman's "Summer Storm" character.

It seems to me that Meditation #4 is sort of dangerous to tell people right before they head to work. Doubly so if it's review time.
--
Once you get used to the idea that everything is equally true, decisions get much easier. -- johnny

So... by ana (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 08:29:22 AM EST
I look at the supposed phonetic spelling (Phoenecian?) and I'm tempted to pronounce it to rhyme with thud.

This is kind of (well, mildly) amusing (to me, at least), since my little brother's (5 year-old) coinage to mean something like "big deal" was Big Tud!. Now, 35 years later, I can almost hear my then-voice replying beee-AT-i-tud!

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

I like that by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 09:29:34 AM EST
I thought the same thing re: the fonettik spelling. I'd never much focused on that aspect of their Words-of-the-Day but it seems they really fail it on all counts.

--
Do not misuse.
[ Parent ]
counting ... by BlueOregon (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 08:51:58 AM EST

... off-topic, but yours was 683, mine as 686, and before me were 685 and 687. Of course, yours is most of a day later, but still ... so, I'm waiting for a diary of 684 words to hit the site.

As for 'cookies' -- we had to teach our German friends in Berlin the 'tradition' of adding a prepositional phrase to the end of all such fortunes (such as, 'in bed' ... which, I guess, makes it a propositional phrase). Said Germans were quite amused.

I'd be happy to oblige by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 09:33:21 AM EST
Being, as you know, up for almost any ridiculous challenge where it comes to arranging words into a semi-coherent (if not cohesive) narrative, but I can never quite predict what word count Scoop will assign to any given post. I guess the "edit story" is one's friend in that respect.

Sadly, the statements we got in our cookies that night could not be improved by the traditional means.

--
Do not misuse.

[ Parent ]
Jewel. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #4 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 09:05:48 AM EST
I saw several seconds of her live show once.

It was at a summer festival in DC. She came out, said hello, started to play. Then a frisbee came flying out of the audience and nailed her in the chestal region.

She quit playing and just walked off. Didn't say nothing, just walked.

Cracker was the next band. Lowery got up to the mic and said that if anybody hit him in the boob with a frisbee, he too would refuse to play "Who Will Save Your Soul."

"The beatitudes of Kellnerin." by moonvine (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 09:19:33 AM EST
I like that. Very nice ring to it.

"Kellnerin wished ... by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 09:35:14 AM EST
... moonvine much beatitude."

--
Do not misuse.
[ Parent ]
When studying for the GRE by aethucyn (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 02:00:16 PM EST
I instituted a 'word of the day' program, where I forced co-workers to use that day's selected word. The only reason that anybody participated in this was because we were waiting tables, and all of the selected words were synonyms for 'cheap'. The prep book I had contained at least a dozen of them. So if you are taking the GRE and don't know a word, assume it means cheap, and you'll do alright.

Daily Meditation | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback