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Breakups
By calla (Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 05:03:44 PM EST) guys that just can't let go (all tags)
I got another message from the boyfriend of 2 years ago, Tom.


It's been a few months since he sent anything. Maybe he thinks that "don't ever contact me again" means wait a while then start contacting me again.

Almost two years ago after a tumultuous dating relationship, we had a dramatic break up. After trick-or-treating with the kids (his daughter and my two), he and his daughter took the subway into New York and where he dropped his daughter off with her mother. While on the PATH train home, he chatted up a young woman who he took out for drinks, then they went to her apartment in Jersey City.

Tom and I had a few long ugly phone calls after that, but the gig was over. I don't like the guy anymore (I wonder what I ever saw in him now) and I don't want him prying in my life. He lost any right to any kind of relationship with me when he picked up another woman and spent the night with her.

When I was with him he spent a lot of time keeping in touch with his exes. Tom's ex-girlfriends seemed like a stable of extras that he kept around as back-up. When we were together, I told him I would never be part of his "stable" if we broke up, I'd want no contact with him.

I want no contact with him. He still tries, sometimes with success. Last Winter he e-mailed me that he'd found a bunch of my art and had to get it back to me. He wanted to deliver it to me personally.

As much as I hated responding, the painting he found is very important to me. So I told him to drop off my stuff at my old employer. I got a barrage of messages from him, jumping out of his pants with excitement over my terse messages sticking to just the details of the exchange.

So the asshole sent a message today. He pretends he needs to know if I'd been tested lately (is that a common "I've got to talk to you" scheme?) "No reason in particular", but he was reminded of how important testing is (maybe he should get tested again?). He goes on to make some guesses about where I am and who I'm living with right now (the guesses are kinda funny). He just wants to know that I'm ok.

The fucktard doesn't even offer the obligatory, "so I've moved in with a wonderful woman and I got a promotion". Don't you have to share something about yourself after you ask how someone else is doing? It's not like Tom doesn't have news, an ex-mutual friend wrote me a few months ago asking about feline shots and mentioned that Tom lived with a jealous bitch. Maybe Tom knows I don't care. Stalking bastard.

So what do you do with an idiot that won't take a hint? ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.

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e-mail stalking | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I've had people use the "testing" line by vorheesleatherface (4.00 / 6) #1 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 05:15:53 PM EST
Well, only one actaully. She was a crazy bitch. Literally. Take my word on it. Anyone who uses that one on you is a crazy and perhaps dangerous motherfucker and should be avoided at all costs. No one who is actually worried about that is going to also make further attempts to engage you in small talk. They would be too preoccupied. Fucking transparent jackhole that one. My reply to him would look something like this:

Dear Fucktard,

What part of "don't ever contact me again" don't you understand. Yes I've been tested and you most likely have contracted 3 to 4 rare and exotic venerial diseases from me. I'll see you in hell.

P.S. I faked it every time.

That would do the trick. And of course blocking the remedial little twat.


"P.S. I faked it every time." by calla (4.00 / 4) #4 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:26:24 PM EST
Such a little touch, that means so much.

I should have waited to get your help before I blocked him. But it's too late now - that chapter is closed.

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

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Spank you very much. You're too kind. [nt] by vorheesleatherface (4.00 / 2) #12 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 07:29:57 PM EST



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Ob Dear Calla, by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:11:47 PM EST
Hi! How are you? What are you wearing?

Heh. Not even I am that pathetic.

Not recently anyway...


Yeah. by calla (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:32:32 PM EST
You've got your stalking schtick, but it's predictable and harmless. I doubt that as an adult, you've done any real stalking. I just don't see it.

I'm going to start a programme that identifies stalkers and stalkees, so that I can segregate them. I have a feeling that stalkers just might get off on being stalked.

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

[ Parent ]
I can help you with this rat fellow. by greyshade (4.00 / 1) #8 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:43:06 PM EST
My rates are quite reasonable.

"The other part of the fun is nibbling on them when they get off work." -vorheesleatherface
[ Parent ]
Yo! Dummy! She don' neeed no hep. by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 07:17:40 PM EST
Specially from youse.

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Don't make me... by greyshade (2.00 / 0) #15 Sat Aug 05, 2006 at 01:22:08 PM EST
send brother's brother girl over there to infect you with some wierd cooties.

And we used to get along so well...  What happened to wooing the women?  Let's make love, not war.  But um... not to the same woman at the same time.  I just think that's kinda.... icky.

"The other part of the fun is nibbling on them when they get off work." -vorheesleatherface

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Schtick? I've got your schtick *RIGHT HERE* by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 07:16:06 PM EST
Mmmmmm. Schtick...

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ammo is right by Kellnerin (4.00 / 3) #3 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:11:59 PM EST
Say "don't ever contact me again", say it ONCE, then do the same yourself. Except for the case where he really did have something you wanted, don't even say "what part of 'fuck off' don't you understand?" That's still contact. Not even after he's written ten messages and still doesn't get it, or he'll figure that it just takes ten emails to get you to write one back. Eventually, most guys get a clue or at least move on to lower-hanging fruit.

Email clients make it easy now. Blackhole the fucker, preferably so that it doesn't even send him a bounce message. Make him think that you could just as well be reading his messages/threats/expressions of "love", but you just don't give a damn.

--
Do not misuse.

"lower hanging fruit" by calla (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:42:33 PM EST
You've really nailed Tom's stable of ex-girlfriends - they were the "lower hanging fruit" that he kept around in case he didn't have anything better. Yuck. I could never see myself like that.

I've never blocked anyone before. I'm excited to report that Yahoo says "Incoming mail from these addresses will be automatically disposed of, without bouncing back to the sender." I hope Tom gets really frustrated.

Thanks for your support, dear.

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

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true true true by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #17 Sun Aug 06, 2006 at 01:30:54 PM EST
all they want is contact....any kind of contact.  negative attention is still attention.

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I know the drill on that one... by greyshade (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:40:53 PM EST
I had an ex that wanted to 'go for coffee' one time and catch up.  I answered her questions in a personable manner, but then I did the polite thing and asked abour her well-being.

How's it going?
ok
Whatcha been up to?
nothing, you know...
No, actually, I don't know.  We've been apart for about a year now, I think we've passed the whole being evasive phase.
just.. things
Right. Well, um.  It's been great seeing you.  I've got some "things" I need to do.

Got a few more emails from her, but never made the mistake of meeting up with her again for coffee.  They get the message... eventually.

"The other part of the fun is nibbling on them when they get off work." -vorheesleatherface

HEY - ANY EVASIVE TYPES OUT THERE? by calla (4.00 / 2) #9 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 06:56:25 PM EST
NEED TO KNOW

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT EVASIVE SHIT FOR?

SERIOUSLY WTF?

Thanks,
your pal,
calla

It's creepy like "I'm going to check in on my science experiment (ex) today".

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

[ Parent ]
Since you asked,,, by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #13 Sat Aug 05, 2006 at 07:47:11 AM EST
Sometimes it's because we just don't feel like sharing, because there isn't anything there we think will be interesting to other people. Maybe because your life is more interesting, or because mine is less than I'd like it to be, or whatever.

Or maybe it's because you were the love of my life, and without you in it it's a bitter, empty shell of existence, dragging on from day to day praying for an end, but without the courage to take it. Hoping against hope for that one bright spark brought into the darkness of the soul by your feigned interest.

Or maybe we're just fuckers that way. You know. Whatever. Yeah, that's probably it.

[ Parent ]
If I'm your one bright spark by calla (4.00 / 1) #14 Sat Aug 05, 2006 at 08:36:47 AM EST
what do you call your current live in partner? You've moved on and found somebody that you loved so much that they are living with you. That's more than you did with me.

Are you someone that lives in the past? The present just isn't good enough for you?

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

[ Parent ]
What I did by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 2) #16 Sun Aug 06, 2006 at 01:28:01 PM EST
I told you and ammo that I was being stalked, and let y'all take care of it.  You did a beautiful job, btw.

Also, I let his wife know that he was still harassing me.  Of course I doubt that made any difference at all - she seems to be the type to revel in her martyrdom.

I think he's got to take the credit. by calla (2.00 / 0) #18 Sun Aug 06, 2006 at 01:50:46 PM EST
Running off stalkers is his specialty.

I think I just watched.

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

[ Parent ]
wait, by garlic (4.00 / 1) #19 Sun Aug 06, 2006 at 06:18:10 PM EST
if it's his specialty, why are you asking us?


[ Parent ]
e-mail stalking | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback