Print Story I've got no friends cause they read the papers
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 07:38:58 AM EST) All this and much much more! (all tags)
The B.A.D.tm

Getting a blister on my little finger since 1976...



I got my teeth cleaned at the dentist this morning. Actually it's the cleaning lady who does the cleaning, the dentist guy (who happens to be a great dentist - best on the planet) pops in when she's done and pokes about in my mouth for two minutes then says "Looks great Bob! See you in 6 months!" and I'm out the door. Well, I looked at my bill, and it turns out the cleaning lady gets $65 clams for the scraping and flossing and flouriding and whatnot, and the good dentist gets $30 clams for his two minutes of "work." What a deal! Still, I don't really care cause this guy is the schniznit. Seriously. If any of you rubes move into the Cleveland proper area I'll hook you up with him and you won't be disappointed.

This morning I, for whatever reason, had a different cleaning lady. I'm not sure what happened to the other one, maybe she got taken out by a bus or something, but the new one seems okay. Except she's real quiet. Hardly said a word during the whole cleaning. This is just the opposite of the one who got run over by a bus, she would talk nonstop during the whole 1/2 hour. Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak. Used to drive me kinda crazy.

Now you would think I would be happy with the quiet lady, but the whole time I was thinking "I wonder what's going on with that other ladies kids" and whatnot. See, they were psycho kids to the nth degree, and 99% of what she would talk about was their insane behaviour, which was interesting, more interesting than dead silence as it turns out. Hmpf, I guess you never know.

See, that's the thing about life. That's why you have to get up in the morning when your opportunity clock goes off, cause you never know. Today might be the day you get to do something really cool, like kill a man in Memphis, or it may be the day you perfect a Turing complete troll, which, I've yet to do although I suspect it has something to do with daylight saving time. Or it may be the day you finally get that section of Für Elise with all those 32nd notes all sorted out. Well, I doubt any of you looooosers will ever get that worked out, but you know what I mean.

And thanks be to God the weather has finally broken today. We have a beautiful day here in Clevetowne, blue skies and temps in the mid 80's with no humidity. Rawr! In fact I'm now going to bug out and go pick up some lunch and enjoy being alive!

< Can you see that young star overhead? It's the one that designed my undoing. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
I've got no friends cause they read the papers | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Careful stepping out for lunch by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #1 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 07:44:05 AM EST
since you pulled a hamstring last time, you might pull up lame again, and get hit by a bus.

Think of all the tragic comments about being an americal trolling icon, cut down in his prime, dead before he could create so many wonderful trolls, maybe he would have proved the P/NP conjecture.

Yeah, looking forward to tomorrow's high of 84.. Still triple digits here.

Maybe the cleaning lady (the dental hygienist, bob) got offed by her kids, or had to take a personal day to take 'em to court, or bail them out.. Crazy folks, eh ?

I took my trusty steed by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 08:09:15 AM EST
I learned my lesson last time. No physical activity unless it's 100% necessary. That way I won't pull a muscle and not be able to go workout at the gym.

re: I thought about that. But her one daughter moved to Boston with the guy from prison so I don't how she could have whacked her unless she moved back home. And her son was in that special rehab place for kids, so unless he graduated or broke out, again, I don't know how he could have offed her.

rere: You know, the cleaning hygienist lady is kinda like the people who do tech support. She does all the work while the dentist (i.e., the high paid developer) sits in a nice office and plays on the Internet all day long. Life is nothing if not one big circle.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
I believe Brooke Shields said it best by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 3) #2 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 07:59:56 AM EST
in The Mythical Troll-Month: "I can't say I've been to the dentist with enough frequency, to say nothing of interest, to notice which cleaning lady is which. You know what would be cool though? Bikini dental hygienist. You know how they kind of lean in and cradle your head when they are getting a tough spot? Excuse me for just two pages."

*whew* Pretty hot stuff from Ms Shields there!

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Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline

Capital Idea! by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 08:13:11 AM EST
I can see HUGE dollars with that idea! We can start a chain of bikini-teeth-cleaning shops and stick them in every college towne in the country!

The one thing we have to make sure of though is that they're not allowed to talk with the customers. That's the killer.

Have you ever had a conversation with a stripper at the strip club? That's the place where boners go to die.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Well, they wouldn't just be strippers by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 08:24:40 AM EST
They'd also be dental hygienists. I'm sure they'd have loads to talk about.

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Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
[ Parent ]
Killing a man in Memphis by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #6 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 08:51:26 AM EST
Isn't all that cool.

"perfect a Turing complete troll". Hell, we did that years ago here at $BigDefenseCorp.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Hmpf. by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 09:10:54 AM EST
Killing a man in Memphis isn't all that cool.

Unless you're speaking from direct firsthand knowledge this is just hearsay.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
I've got no friends cause they read the papers | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback