By fleece (Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 05:17:53 AM EST) WFC, WFC3 (all tags)
Better late than never hey? Sorry for the delay, I've been busy.

Rather than delay it any longer with faux fanfare, I'll just do the poll thing, yeah?

Okay here goes...

[editor's note, by ana] one more story added to the list, and to the poll.

Update [2006-9-2 3:22:14 by fleece]: WINNERS ANNOUNCED

VOTE NOW for the one you like, and the cover you like (or more than one, i can't stop you)

The entries are:

aethucyn anniversary
Kellnerin Terzanelle to the Departed Beloved
blixco September Dreaming
CRwM The Resurrection Men Hall of Fame
Merekat Danny and Jules
ana Next Time, Last Time
toxicfur Agency
fleece one-twenty
2 + 3 = 5 Egg
cam Do Zombie Souls Count Electric Sheep?
Kellnerin Homecoming
MissTrish Lather
BlueOregon John 3, 1-5
Scrymarch Single

late entry: anonymous She Said. [see end of poll list]

and the covers

cam Cam
Kellnerin Kellnerin

thank you everyone for their efforts and wish everyone the best of luck. Some great entries, I think.

AND THE WINNER OF WFC3 IS: 2 + 3 = 5 with Egg. Kellernin wins the covers comp. Congratulations to the winners and a big thank you to everyone who took part, and especially to 256 for hosting it again.

< The Tale Of The Exploding Car | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
WFC3 - TIME FOR VOTING! | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
those things we do by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #1 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 08:25:28 AM EST
Like whining, fleece, when does voting end?

And fleece, there's another entry on the 256 site, are you gonna let it into the poll?

fleece ... seriously, thanks for emceeing this thing, and 256 for providing the virtual location.

About the book thing, yeah, let's do that! My cover submission was only done because:

  1. I've acquired Photoshop since the last WFC, thus proving that power corrupts, and
  2. I wanted to give TPD's cover, which obviously kicks ass, a little company up there on the site/poll. Cam's is great too with a more lighthearted take on what could be a very grim topic. Is that the last grizzly (he was reborn in fiberglass form)?
I haven't read all the entries yet, so I'll save the critiques for later in the week when all the authors are going insane from compulsively reloading (or is that just me ...)

Do not misuse.
Bad writer habits. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 4) #2 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 08:34:07 AM EST
The compulsive reloading is pretty bad, but have you already started writing your postmortem?

[ Parent ]
confession by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #9 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 03:19:45 PM EST
I've got the outline mapped out but I haven't set fingers to keyboard yet. I'm in the letting the stories tumble around in my head until my votes float up to the top like lottery balls stage (at which point they fall back into the shuffle and I post my reviews of "Wow! There were a lot of good stories this time!")

You got me. All this stuff is just a coping mechanism to put off premature post-mortem posting.

Do not misuse.

[ Parent ]
I think... by ana (4.00 / 1) #6 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 09:41:34 AM EST
I can add it to the end of the poll without disturbing the ongoing voting, if that's what people want.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

[ Parent ]
Yes please do by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #7 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 10:02:56 AM EST
add the story, that is.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

[ Parent ]
if you ask me, by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 03:23:39 PM EST
I like to be inclusive and all, and if fleece can be late closing the show, people can be late submitting. And it only seems fair to provide a checkbox for people to click, since someone went to the trouble of writing and submitting a story. But you probably guessed that since I brought it up in the first place.

Do not misuse.
[ Parent ]
issuing comprehensible deadlines by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 12:40:50 PM EST
does not appear to be fleece's forte.

i really hope he's not a teacher.

"when is this paper due, again?"
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

[ Parent ]
it's easy this time by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 03:26:11 PM EST
"Next week, same bat day, same bat hour, whatever bat time zone you want." Or, whatever variation on that theme applies.

Do not misuse.
[ Parent ]
My Review of the Picks by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 08:59:54 AM EST
I apologise to any of who whose stories I didn't like.  I don't know who wrote any of these, so here's my take.

5 out of 10 

Failed to compel.

Terzanelle to the Departed Beloved

Ummm ya.  Okay.

It stuck in my tar.  Too much sticky road crack glue imagery. 

Creative, but odd.

September Dreaming

Interesting.  Almost half of it could have been done away with, and I don’t like the conversational first person style, but it has potential.

The thing that conflicts me on this piece is I am unsure if my emotion in regards to the tragic event it references is the source of the potential this story has or if it’s the writing.

Any rate, some editing and more of a “memoir” style instead of the conversational style could make this one a great little story.

The Resurrection Men Hall of Fame

Fun little story, a little bit dry.  Leaves you wanting more, and better exclamations.  The news-paper style writing is interesting.

Danny & Jules

Well, this story certainly went in a direction that I hadn’t expected.  It was……good.  While I wasn’t enamored with the story itself, the writing was excellent.

Next Time, Last time

No idea what’s going on, or why.  Characters are not compelling, and I feel nothing during or after the reading other than “what the hell?”   While it seems to be popular to be mysterious with these stories, I gotta say giving someone a little clue wouldn’t hurt.


Vibrant, well written, compelling.  Hell of a good job.


I like this one, its well written, but as with some of these I have no freaking idea what the hell is going on.  Perhaps it’s just me that’s daft.  I don’t know.  I imagine there is a story in there somewhere, but I don’t know where.


Heh, fun little story, well written.  Mysterious, but no so much that it frustrates.  Well done.

Do Zombie Souls Count Electric Sheep?
Short and a rather poor effort.  It is more like a drunken priests ramblings than anything.  It reads like a half-assed sermon.

An interesting story, well written.  I enjoyed it.


The broken mind of a killer.  Well done.

John 3, 1-5

Well done and thought provoking.  Needs a little polish, but not much.  Very nice.


Well written, although I fear that the writer is relaying a drunken/stoned conversation he’s had on the Underground.

"I don't have enough middle fingers to communicate my feelings to you." --clover kicker

Oh, one other comment by Gedvondur (4.00 / 3) #4 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 09:13:26 AM EST
Thanks much to FLEECE for organizing and handling the contest.  Well done.

"I don't have enough middle fingers to communicate my feelings to you." --clover kicker

Thanks to fleece and 256. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 2) #5 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 09:35:39 AM EST
You have the gratitude of a thankful web site.

my take by fleece (4.00 / 1) #12 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 08:38:07 PM EST
anniversary - not bad. care was taken. interesting twist. competent.
Terzanelle to the Departed Beloved - not my cup of tea, but different so kudos there
September Dreaming - trippy with a clever twist. good work
The Resurrection Men Hall of Fame - the style is not something I'd normally like, but this is so very well done. After reading it through for concept, i re-read it to enjoy the craft, and loved it on a different level. delicious. i'm impressed. I can't even pinpoint what I like about it. it's just really good. A work of art.
Danny and Jules - okay
Next Time, Last Time - okay
Agency - i liked it, but it was kind of fucked up. the author is a feeler. strange but interesting.
one-twenty - The David Lynch-esque approach to chronological disorder and inference made me seasick. I liked it anyway.
Egg - likeable.
Do Zombie Souls Count Electric Sheep? - drugs
Homecoming - enjoyed it. well paced, easy to read, interesting. I'd have no problems with this winning
Lather - WTF? drugs?
John 3, 1-5 - intelligent. has substance. I feel like i should have enjoyed it more than i did. maybe i couldn't sympathise with the characters enough or some such.
Single - The way you use words, the rhythm, the dialogue, it's so good! i'm okay if you win even though it was so fucking late past the deadline. can we do lunch?

oops by fleece (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu Aug 24, 2006 at 08:47:23 PM EST
my feedback for "Single" was actually referring to "she said"

my feedback for single is: nice, compact, well paced. satisfying. good work

[ Parent ]
Two stories I liked. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #14 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 04:24:15 AM EST
I'm not one writing mass reviews, so I'll just point out my two favorites.

For me, "John 3: 1-5" was the story to beat this time out. I wasn't immediately grabbed by work when I first read it; but it was the story that, for me, most rewarded re-reading and intense attention. This is a pro-grade, ambitious work. The dialogue is mannered, but saved by the author's awareness of just what it needs to convey. The story doesn't move along so much as it rolls in and out of the reader's attention like waves in a rising tide. Amazing stuff.

I was also taken with the wonderful, thoughtful "Denny and Jules." Often, given the short nature of these things and the expectation they will be read quickly by an audience with divided attention, the writers (myself included) rely on bold strokes, grand gestures, and almost pulp-style twists and gimmicks. Nothing's wrong with using these strategies. In fact, the consistently high quality of the stuff we get shows just how powerful these elements can be when used well. But, I enjoyed "D&J" for taking a quieter route. This is effective, genuine, sympathetic drama, with a twist that wouldn't have been necessary, but still adds, rather than detracts, from the merits of the story.

Whoever these two authors are, I think you both did a hell of a job.

My mini-reviews by ana (2.00 / 0) #15 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 06:38:01 AM EST
Apologies to anybody who's offended by what follows; just a sentence or two about each story.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

Danny and Jules by hulver (2.00 / 0) #16 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 06:46:59 AM EST
Well, I thought at the end the entire universe had been destroyed, and he was starting to re-build it.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
[ Parent ]
Theory. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #22 Sat Aug 26, 2006 at 10:47:08 AM EST
When I read it, I thought it was about lucid dreaming - trying to keep the dream going to spend more time with the dream girl. Perhaps I missed something.

[ Parent ]
my picks and guesses by 256 (2.00 / 0) #17 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 06:54:07 AM EST
The Ressurection Men Hall of Fame

can't help but be drawn in by the style of writing. it's kind of cruel the way the author piques the reader with so many threads that are never going to be drawn out, let alone drawn together. still, it's done with such consistency that it doesn't feel unfinished.

i'll eat my hat if this isn't by CRwM.

Danny and Jules

i can't say i entirely get the twist at the end (if it is even a twist). but this piece has the most interesting and fully-formed characters of any i've yet seen in a WFC. if votes were ordered, this would be my top pick.

i have no idea who it's by.


i'm not sure that the ending of this piece really works as an ending. more than with any of the others, this feels like an excerpt from a longer work, but the style is so strong and palpable that i can't say i care.

i have my suspicions fleece is the author of this one.


now to go peek and see if my guesses are right.

because i can.
I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni

Ressurection Men by hulver (2.00 / 0) #18 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 07:18:21 AM EST
I thought it was by CRwM as well.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
[ Parent ]
Reviews and critiques. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #19 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 08:45:33 AM EST
I hope I don't offend anyone, with unasked-for and detailed concrit. I really think this is the best bunch of stories yet, and I still haven't decided which ones to vote for.

Continue to lean until you feel gravity threatening to discipline you for being stupid. - CRwM
Spoilers by Scrymarch (2.00 / 0) #20 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 03:03:57 PM EST

anniversary. I don't know if this one sits together as a whole, but I liked the suggestion at the end that he'll be back next year. To me it made him more of an eccentric than a psycho.

Terzanelle to the Departed Beloved. Thank you for teaching me what a terzanelle is. I couldn't find a voice to read this in where it would flow; I found it halting. Nevertheless I think the entire poem is worthwhile for the phrase "when you died, it was my rebirth".

September Dreaming. I admit I didn't pay a lot of attention to the first half of this story, as the everyday details set up a diary entry vibe. That made the corner it turns in the middle - "And here's the strangest part of the dream" - impact all the more though. It cut to the quick, all of a sudden. I don't have a big connection to that event, but I was suprised how hard the second half of that story hit me. A vote went here.

The Resurrection Men Hall of Fame. This is the story I enjoyed the most. That detached, curatorial eye running over slightly caricatured faded old-timey Americana: I loved it.  It reminded me of The Simpsons' episodes of John Swartzwelder. School-of-CRwM at the very least, probably an original.

Danny and Jules. I liked the character sketch of the obsessive compulsive Danny, but I think I missed the ending.

Next Time, Last Time. I picked up the Biblical vibe - all Hebrew names? Oh apparently Susan's Egyptian - but ended up a bit confused about the exact setting. It worked, but I felt like I was missing something the story wasn't designed for me to miss.

Agency. There's a lot to like about this. If I had to gripe, motivational speakers seem like an easy target.

one-twenty. "While he’s asking freedom fighters if they think they’ll ever seen their families again, I’ll be feeding his cat and emptying his letterbox." I don't really have any suggestions beyond a full stop in the second paragraph. It's a very well-controlled piece of writing. I'm glad I read it, but in the end I didn't vote for it. Maybe September Dreaming had already drained my always perilously low sympathy reservoir.

Egg. I hadn't run into the thing where the phoenix (somewhat) takes after the creature that raises it. That was cool. I voted for it.

Do Zombie Souls Count Electric Sheep? Personally I liked this short musing on zombie existence. All this resurrection talk did scare up the bible quotes, eh?

Homecoming. Like one-twenty, this is another finely written story which I didn't vote for because of my personal biases - specifically it wasn't funny and I felt the ending was obvious. I could imagine the scene with her listening to the tape recorder, and her brother waiting outside the door though. I enjoyed reading about their ritual.

Lather. I don't get the significance of the title, but I'm happy to just go with the man-eating / vampire B-horror vibe. In that spirit there's actually a nice black joke or two here - ".. as I was finishing off my thai."

John 3, 1-5. It's good. Jeremy Bentham as Highlander (vampire?) thing. Never trust a utilitarian. Their efforts to kill themselves did seem a bit half-hearted though. When you're immortal, jumping into a fire is less a suicide attempt than a cry for help. Instead, why not try strapping yourself to a H-bomb?

Single. This is ok, but I've a feeling it was written in a bit of a rush.

She Said. "She read with a deadly drive and an unshakable half understanding." I reckon all fictional treatments of philosophical problems through dialogue run the risk of form contradicting function. If you don't dramatise the problem itself, the characters and setting can be needless adornment on what is just a watered down philosophical essay. Single has a bit of this problem too. Hmm, but back on She Said, that's probably a bit harsh on a story where a frigging gun is waved around in the middle. At any rate it seems a bit of an abstract justification for having kids. Also: do people really think the main character? Where he spends so much time in spin control over what he's saying to his girl? That's a genuine question, not a criticism as such.

The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo

[insert disclaimer here] by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #21 Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 05:07:44 PM EST
My subjective takes on the entries. Mild spoilers, I guess.
  1. Anniversary A neat idea, well executed. I like how "fucking psycho" becomes a term of endearment. I usually need every last word allotted to finish my entry, so I liked how tight this one was.
  2. Terzanelle to the Departed Beloved A potentially neat idea, not so well executed, but I can't say I could have done better.
  3. September Dreaming I'm mixed about this one. Writing dreams is tricky and while it started off well, I think the narrator doth protest the dreaminess a tad too much. Though partway through it's revealed that the narrator is female, personally I think it would have been more effective if it had been left a sort of "everyperson" point of view. I also didn't get much of a "rebirth" vibe ... despite all this, I lingered over this story for quite a while. It has a haunting quality.
  4. The Resurrection Men Hall of Fame Entertaining despite its lack of plot. I like the contrast of the academic/documentary style with a kind of semi-stream-of-consciousness in the way that it jumps from topic to topic.
  5. Danny and Jules The Curious Incident of the Groundhog in the Night-Time. I wasn't too keen on the twist/ending, but without it, it doesn't really hit the theme.
  6. Next Time, Last Time I confess I was confuzzled by this one. I think it would have helped if it was a little more grounded in time and place (even if an imaginary one), and some more gaps filled in, even if obliquely.
  7. Agency You go, Henry -- that's some motherfucking Agency. The characters were really well done in this one.
  8. One-Twenty I liked the disjointed, loosely linked style. Snappy prose. Lots of death, some birth, not all that much rebirth per se, but I didn't mind.
  9. Egg The most traditional/literal "rebirth" of the lot, but a good treatment of it; there's a lot to be said for not getting too fancy with the theme. I found the Husi references a little distracting. I am a sucker for endings that bring things full circle, though, and this theme is perfect for it.
  10. Do Zombie Souls Count Electric Sheep? As others have said, it seems incomplete. Also, I really wanted the title to be something like "Do Zombies Dream of Sheep Brains?" but that's just me.
  11. Homecoming A solid story, intriguing premise, but so low-key it sort of fails to stand out.
  12. Lather ... The WFC3 neck-and-apparently-the-rest-of-the-body bite story.
  13. John 3, 1-5 I liked the opening and ending, wavered on the middle a bit. I saw it as a vampire story because if any WFC was going to have vampires in it, it should be this one. Sorry if I'm off the mark there.
  14. Single More concept than story as such. I have had that conversation (OK, maybe not that exact conversation). Wish there had been just a little more resolution.
  15. She Said Like everyone else, I liked the rhythm of the narrative, but felt it didn't quite get to rebirth unless you fill in the other half of the story.

Do not misuse.
Also, by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #23 Sat Aug 26, 2006 at 11:48:14 AM EST
Vote TPD for the cover! Seriously! Do it now!

Do not misuse.
[ Parent ]
I didnt come last by cam (4.00 / 1) #24 Tue Aug 29, 2006 at 05:36:12 PM EST

Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

lol saved by the terzanelle by fleece (4.00 / 1) #25 Tue Aug 29, 2006 at 06:08:59 PM EST
me too

[ Parent ]
Stupid Egg by foggrat (2.00 / 0) #26 Wed Aug 30, 2006 at 09:18:36 AM EST
I've been lurking on this site for MONTHS and I had to get an account because the story was that great and I had to make sure it "won".

Excise the husi reference that felt clumsy and it's better than 90% of the fiction out there.

My two bits by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #27 Wed Aug 30, 2006 at 06:15:25 PM EST
anniversary It was fine, and better than I thought at the outset.  I liked the premise, but it suffered from opening exposition.

Terzanelle to the Departed Beloved This isn't quite a terzanelle, in that it the lines repeated in a formal terzanelle (middle line of first stanza becomes the ending line of the next stanza, and so it - it's a bitch to pull off) are suggested, but not used verbatim.  Some previous comments have objected to the re-used rhyme, but no, that's at least suggestive of the form.  "The terzanelle is a good form for the recovering obsessive-compulsive who has been able to put down the villanelle without hurting themselves."  A miss in execution, but still managed to convey the idea that the speaker was better off for the dead being dead.  Okay, not so subtle with the message, but a game try.

September Dreaming I skimmed it.  I need linearity.  I'm shallow like that.

The Resurrection Men Hall of Fame I loved this, but them, I'm amused by The House of Clocks.  For some reason the line The British press, which was used to having their Gilbert and Sullivan-informed ideas of the Far East pandered to by Robertson, found Yuanyong unconvincing cracked me up. 

Danny and Jules This could have been a contender, but there was too much exposition for my taste.  Also, I wasn't sure what would make Jules act the way she did.  Danny's quirks and Jules' attraction could have been demonstrated in dialog.  What I liked a whole fucking lot was the premise that he's not OCD, he's right.

Next Time, Last Time Um, okay.  There was too much missing for me to get a clue.

Agency  What?  A gay couple with a Greatful Dead tie-dye on the wall?  No fabulous apartment in chrome?  Thank you, thank you, thank you for that.  In a short piece there was some breath in these guys and a sense of their history.  Not entirely buying the ending, but who knows? 

one-twenty This had a lot of elements that I liked.  In fact, I thought it was cool, liked the hints of the build between sections and then Tess.  Who is Tess?  Dog.  Okay.  Stage five of what?   Summary: cool, cool, Cool, cool, lost me

Egg  Agree with previous comments.  HuSi references dragged it down.  Otherwise, interesting.  I think it's been ahead because several folks like it in addition to something else, sort of like how the Booker Prize goes to the commitee members collective second favorite.

Do Zombie Souls Count Electric Sheep?  I prefer spicy brains.

Homecoming  There are a lot of cool details in this, like her needing to hear it on the crappy tape player, not the big stereo.  This has a cool premise, but it didn't grab me.  Can't quite say why.

Lather  To be honest I don't think I read it on first reading.  My eyes moved over the page, but other than the taste of the icecream  man and the bit about not fucking with a man's pants, I missed the point.   I liked this better on the second reading, and think I got it.  It's funny.

John 3, 1-5  Stylized in a way that worked.  Cool.  A little uneven.  The opening section about the opening to the joke was my favorite bit.  The ending was, I don't know, too nice for my taste.  I would like better the unfulfilled desire.  Or Renee gets what she wants but Todd makes some insightful comment that shows his contempt for her choice, despite helping her do it.

Single  It was okay.  No complaints.  It just seemed sorta young.

She Said  Oh yeah.  There were too many good lines to pull one out.  I liked the rhythm, I liked the idea, I liked the pacing.  Hell, I even liked the punctuation.  My top pick.

-- Do the math.

Thanks for the link. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #28 Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 06:53:21 AM EST
I've never run across the HoC before, but it is brilliant.

[ Parent ]
So, um. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #29 Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 06:59:02 AM EST
Is this thing over?

possibly by Merekat (2.00 / 0) #30 Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 07:03:40 AM EST
Though I think normally service may be interrupted for the grand revealings.

[ Parent ]
Shouldn't stop us. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #31 Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 07:05:16 AM EST
Same thing happened last time. Mr. fleece can still declare a winner and encourage writers to "out" themselves.

[ Parent ]
not even by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #32 Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 07:24:25 AM EST
256 is just so slick, revelation has already happened. Now we just have to apply peer pressure so that the winner will reveal hir identity ...

Do not misuse.
[ Parent ]
Results, as of now... by ana (2.00 / 0) #33 Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 08:39:49 AM EST
I don't usually vote in these things by debacle (2.00 / 0) #34 Thu Aug 31, 2006 at 12:47:32 PM EST
Perferring to read the winner instead.

It was kind of meh. Typical of that author's writing style.


Since you're in the know by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #35 Fri Sep 01, 2006 at 04:47:38 AM EST
Care to tell who it is?

-- Do the math.
[ Parent ]
I'm not 100% sure by debacle (2.00 / 0) #36 Fri Sep 01, 2006 at 06:16:59 AM EST
So no.


[ Parent ]
WFC3 - TIME FOR VOTING! | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback