Print Story Greetings, salutations, goodbye
By gazbo (Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:00:03 AM EST) (all tags)
Been a while since I've posted one of these.  Wait - don't I say that at the start of all my diaries?

Well, I guess I'd best complete the routine by pointing out it's "just a quickie".

My sweet precious fucking alcohol!

On the way home from work yesterday I popped into the Co-op for various foodstuffs.  At the counter I decided that what I really fancied in the weather was a vodka and orange, and so asked for a bottle of Smirnoff (the orange, you will be pleased to hear, had been taken care of in a prior trip).

The assistant asked me if I had ID.

I just burst out laughing, and she apologised and said that they'd just changed it so that if anyone appeared to be under the age of 30(!) they had to ask for ID to prove they were over 18.  I continued laughing, right up to the point that I realised I have no photo ID on me.

Realising how ridiculous the whole thing was, she called the supervisor over.  Who also thought it was ridiculous, but said that having been asked for ID, as I couldn't provide it I could not be served.

I laughed it off, and said it was no problem as the off license was next door anyway.

So I went into Threshers, and asked for the same.  She put the bottle on the counter, and then she too asked for ID.

"Oh, not you too!" I cried.
"Sorry, but there's been a crackdown and we've now had two warnings.  If we're caught selling alcohol to minors again we'll be shut down, so we're having to be strict about asking for ID from anyone who looks 21."
"You mean 30?" I asked to correct her.
"No, 21.  The Co-op have gone all out and made it 30, but we're sticking with 21."
"SHURRUP DO I LOOK UNDER 21!" I shouted through fits of laughter.
"You do..." she said, rather meekly.

For the record, I am 27, and have a receding hairline.  I also look like this:

When I'm working on getting drunk
When I've succeeded in getting drunk (this is arguably not a flattering picture - I am unsure).
When I'm drinking to try and remove the hangover from picture 2

Still, if someone thinks I look under 21 I'll take it as a compliment.  But: FUCK!  No alcohol!

On the same subject, why is a credit card with valid PIN considered enough proof of identity to buy n-thousand pounds worth of goods, but not enough proof to buy alcohol (I was paying on credit card)?  I guess credit card fraud is seen as less important than 16 year olds buying beer.

My "band":

Got a call from a friend a few weeks back while I was at work:

"Alright, you want to form an electro-pop duo?"
"You know I do!"

And thus it happened.  We've been working on a couple of songs, which is one of the main reasons I didn't get an MFC in.  When they're finished I'm sure you'll know.

Writing with someone else is weird for me as I've only ever written/recorded/produced on my own.  It's also pulled the music in a really different direction on one song, but I'm probably dragging the other back over my way.  Should be interesting.

Oh, I don't have anything to say, so I'll not even pretend I do.  Have a good weekend, y'all!

< Slow Train | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Greetings, salutations, goodbye | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Worse no vodka story by nebbish (4.00 / 5) #1 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:06:37 AM EST
At nighttime after pub and offy were closed, getting a bottle of vodka out of the freezer - a bottle I'd been looking forward to all day - and dropping it on the floor and smashing it in horrific slow motion. I considered sucking it up off the floor but thankfully just sloped off to bed in tears.

This happened about 5 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.

It's political correctness gone mad!

It *was* yesterday by gpig (4.00 / 8) #4 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:19:24 AM EST
You will wake up in the shower shortly.
(,   ,') -- eep
[ Parent ]
Black shirt with tie. by ana (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:11:28 AM EST

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

Interesting... by gazbo (4.00 / 1) #8 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:28:50 AM EST
I shall have to wear such things more often.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Ha ha by hulver (4.00 / 4) #3 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:13:49 AM EST
Baby face :)
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
I guess so by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:19:34 AM EST
The under 30 thing I could understand, but under 21?  Blimey.  I can't believe that I'm going to have to remember my passport to get alcohol in the future round Crookes.

Oh, did you get my email, btw?  I assume so, but am never sure what email addresses you check.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
you're just... by Metatone (4.00 / 1) #10 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:42:29 AM EST
young at heart... yeah.. that's it...

[ Parent ]
this diary haiku by fleece (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:22:21 AM EST
take my word for it -
I'm old enough to drink, sir!
and too old to stop

Ah, the old receding hairline trick by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:25:01 AM EST
If I told you how many hours we spent at uni, plucking out hairs on our head to look over 21, you'd be appalled.

Next time, add some grey streaks, it can really age you.

I wouldn't worry.... by TPD (4.00 / 4) #9 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:29:45 AM EST
It's probably just that she's seen you about town hanging round with all the 15 year old girls.

Either that or were you wearing a girls aloud T-shirt at the time?

Electro-Pop duo tastic.... hope there's some MP3s soon!

why sit, when you can sit and swivel with The Ab-SwivellerTM

You do look young by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #11 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 06:48:37 AM EST
That scraggly facial hair plus the baby face put you in your early 20's so it's not unreasonable for them to think you could go either way. Well, not in the biblical sense, but in the "old enough" sense.

For the record I got carded for buying a pack of cigarettes (fags for you EUians) when I was 25. Can you imagine that??? Any 5 year old with a couple bucks can buy a pack of smokes and this nimrod had the nerve to actually ask for my ID??? I gave that trailer-park momma a piece of my mind you can be sure.

I'm looking forward to hearing your electro-pop stuff. If your previous MFC entries are any indication they should be top shelf stuff!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

Being carded by ucblockhead (4.00 / 3) #12 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 07:47:21 AM EST
A few months ago I (at 40 years old) was carded...for a "M"-rated videogame. They had to make sure I was over 18.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Now *that* is the winner so far [nt] by gazbo (4.00 / 1) #15 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 08:36:27 AM EST

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
The irony by ucblockhead (4.00 / 2) #16 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 08:45:39 AM EST
When I turned 21, we went out barhopping to celebrate. No one carded me. We finally got desperate and went to a local supermarket where I was only carded after a friend said, loudly, "DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE HIS ID!?"
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Ha! by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #17 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 09:18:08 AM EST
When I was 21 I looked like I was 12. I used to get carded constantly, in fact they would often do complete strip/cavity search and pat-down before selling me hootch.

I never understood how an anal cavity search helped prove that I was 21 but they claimed it had to be done.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
about 3 years ago by garlic (4.00 / 1) #20 Sun Jul 09, 2006 at 06:39:55 AM EST
when I was 25, I got carded to see an R rated movie.

[ Parent ]
R rated movies by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #22 Sun Jul 09, 2006 at 07:06:51 AM EST
I once "snuck" into an R-rated movie when I was 16 by simply presenting my non-fake-showed-I-was-16 ID to the cashier when it was demanded.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Now I feel less special by Imperial Mince (4.00 / 1) #13 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 07:52:26 AM EST
I thought I was the only one still getting asked for ID
This space reserved for whining like a little bitch and being sanctimonious.
At college (in Hoboken, NJ) by miker2 (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 08:22:51 AM EST
I was carded more for ciggie's than for alchohol.  Problem was I could legally buy the cig's but not the booze.

Ah, sociopathy. How warm, how comforting, thy sweet embrace. - MNS
how do people by alprazolam (4.00 / 2) #18 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 09:29:13 AM EST
go out in public without an id? i don't even check the mail without mine.

you drive. by garlic (4.00 / 2) #21 Sun Jul 09, 2006 at 06:41:06 AM EST
the brits don't as much. If you're only photo id was your passport, you probably wouldn't take it with you to get the mail.

[ Parent ]
NO NATIONAL ID CARD, NO DRINKY by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #19 Fri Jul 07, 2006 at 11:53:44 AM EST
And that's how They'll get us.  You, anyway.

I think it's your moisturising regime.  Try to tone down the metrosexuality in future.  About 15% less should do it.

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

Greetings, salutations, goodbye | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback