"Are you sure they're OK?"
"We're not sure you've confirmed this sufficiently. We plan to install the MS06-013 Cumulative Security Update (a.k.a. 912812) and MS06-021 cumulative security update (916281). Are these completely supported?
"Yes," you thick-as-a-10-storey-high-slab-of-concrete fucking chimpanzee.
Then he called in to "discuss" the answer. I took the call while waiting for an installation in the background and quickly wished I hadn't. Satish speaks excellent English but doesn't understand a fucking word of it.
We interrupt this whinge-fest to bring you the latest update: A CRT has been delivered. I now have a ViewSonic E95 sitting on the Desk of Hate. It's only 18", can only go as high as 1600x1200 and the screen is noticeably bubble-round in stark contrast to my almost flat IBM monitor. Not only is this much harder to read, it reflects a load of sunlight from the window so that I have to turn it away from me 20° to the right. Bollox!
I've also been told that I may not bring my own monitor to work. Fuckers.
I went over the whole business with the patches and compatibility patches with Satish again. I made him repeat it back to me like a kindergarten-aged child to make sure he understood.
Came a mail Friday, once again asking for confirmation. The fuckwit decided he now needs me to discuss and confirm every single component of each of the roll-ups. MS06-022, MS06-023, MS06-024, MS06-025, and so on. Answered in tabular form.
He's called three times already today wanting to talk to me again. Fuckwit.
Why am I so loathe to talk to him again? Because the last conversation went more or less like this, the italicised side of it having a rather noticeable mid-subcontinental accent:
Fuckwit: OK, so now I would like to be asking you about support for MS MS06-021
REC: It's supported. Period. Full stop.
Fuckwit: OK, you are telling me that it is supported but I have not told you why we are planning to install it.
REC: It doesn't matter why you're installing it. We don't care. It's supported, end of story. There's nothing more to discuss.
Fuckwit: Excuse me please but I need to discuss this. It is a Cumulative Security Update for Internet Explorer and as such appears only to be all versions of Internet Explorer that $YourBigApp runs upon.
REC: It's for all IE and it's supported.
Fuckwit: Are you sure that it is supported in conjunction with working with $YourBigApp when many of the fixes remove remote code execution ability. We are worried that this could prevent the execution of $YourBigApp
REC: Satish, it does not affect the functionality of $OurBigApp.
Fuckwit: And you are sure of this? Is that $MegaCorp's official position?
REC: Yes, and yes.
Fuckwit: Are you certain? If you look in the list you see mshtml.dll and wininet.dll are affected. Are you positive that this will not have an impact on $YourBigApp considering that $YourBigApp is affected by these DLLs which I have found through the use of system tools.
And so on. With his method of questioning I'd expect him to have a German accent just like my cow-orker Berti.
He's been answered. His ticket's been closed. He's a 17 but I can only give him a 6.5: Doesn't understand, and I can't even boldface it.
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