Print Story Three blind man and a hermaphrodite walk into a bar...
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 06:49:12 AM EST) All this and much much more!! (all tags)
The B.A.D.TM

Putting the Super in Super Nova since 1975...



Alright, so GobStoppers really aren't all that bad. In fact I'm re-considering my original stance and moving them up to the runner-up position behind Runtstm in the grand scheme of all things hard and sugary. So there you have it, I'm man enough to step up to the plate and admit when I might have been inadvertently mistaken in the past. Balls. I've got em, along with a shapely arse and bad hair, but that's getting off topic here.

Moving onto news from this morning, sadly I dropped a bit too much faux creamer in my mid-morning coffay, so it's a tad too mellow for my liking. That's the thing about faux creamer, once it's in there's no way to undo it. Your stuck with it, no turning back. No undo button to press to make it right. But there are a lot of things in life that are like that. Getting an arm amputated, for example. Or getting stuck with Winky as a childhood nickname. Sure, you'll grow up and have a life but anytime you run into one of your childhood pals you can bet big rupees that they'll call you Winky. You can be 90 years old, living in a "Just a waiting to die" Rest Home and someone will be calling you Winky.

Winky's not my nickname, by the way. I'm just throwing that out there as an example. I did, however, once play in a golf league where I partnered with a guy who called everybody Sparky. In fact we won the championship one year. It was a total fluke (I got hot and played waaaay better than I am at just the right time against the real good teams) but champions we were! Christ, I still get a hard on just thinking about it. But anyways, yeah, he called everyone Sparky in a sort of condescending manner. It was funny if you weren't the one he was calling Sparky, in a sophomoric sort of way. He was kind of an odd guy, truth be told. He was one of those people who had more money than sense and it was important that EVERYBODY KNEW IT. Still, he was a right good golfer which was all I gave a shit about.

I haven't touched my golf clubs in 3 years. They sit in my closet, mocking me everytime I open the door to grab something. I should just sell them and be done with it. Not that I don't enjoy golfing, but I have to play ALOT to be worth a crap and it's not possible now that I "work" regular type hours and a regular type job. In a former life I used to work funky hours which allowed me to go golfing in the morning quite a bit, so I did. Boy, weren't those the days, eh?

Okay, I'm gonna go1 now, I see in my daytimer that I'm supposed to stare at the wall from 11:45 to 12:15, and God knows I hate to get my work schedule out of wack. You understand. It's nothing personal mind you, and I will be having a Turkey Stemitch and a Bocca Burger for lunch, in case you were wondering. Right. Bye bye for now.

[1] - Go in the scholastic sense, not the biblical or stupid game sense.

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Three blind man and a hermaphrodite walk into a bar... | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Doesn't Old Man McMurphy play? by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #1 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 06:52:30 AM EST
Seems like you could offer up a few meetings on the links, to discuss corporate strategy and all that. With your metrosexual fashion sense, you're clearly management material.


Only when he has to by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 07:02:58 AM EST
He's likely much worse than I am. He plays when he does trade shows and crap like that, which is maybe 3 or 4 times a year.

He's more of a water ski-er, a pretty good one truth be told. In fact he's got a real nice speed-boat with an underground lakefront boathouse for it and the whole nine yards. On nice days when the lake is calm you can be certain he won't be coming into "work."

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
I saw that (nt) by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 07:04:54 AM EST


---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
Sport ? Buddy ? Skip ? by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 07:22:33 AM EST
I know two of those, both grown men.

Truth be told by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 07:31:03 AM EST
The only nickname I had, and luckily it only stuck for about a year while I was in the 9th grade, was driveshaft.

I'm not at liberty to discuss why they called me that but it's likely not what you're thinking.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
have you decided ... by BlueOregon (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 07:52:33 AM EST

... to sue that hobbit and the creators of Lost?

[ Parent ]
I'm not embarrassed by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 08:02:50 AM EST
to admit that I have no clue as to what you're on about with this one.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Dear Bob by Improbus (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 08:11:43 AM EST
Driveshaft is the name of the band the hobbit was in on Lost (before the plane crash).



If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago. --- Oma Desala
[ Parent ]
Well by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 08:35:11 AM EST
That explains it then.

I've never seen Lost and wouldn't know a Hobbit if it was giving me head.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Don't sell them... by atreides (4.00 / 4) #6 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 07:33:56 AM EST
...burn them as a warning to others.

Golf, sir, is a good walk spoiled.

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless


I know Winston Churchill by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #8 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 07:52:54 AM EST
And you, sir, are no Winston Churchill.

Lets face it, golf could very well be the most difficult sport to master, EVAR, so it's no wonder that the game would have it's detractors.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Actually, that was Mark Twain... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #11 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 08:14:40 AM EST
...and I, sir, am no gentleman from Missouri or I would have extinguished myself years ago.

And admittedly, it is the most difficult game to master, but my problems with golf stem from what I see as it's silliness and an elitism that overwhelms even my appreciation of elitism. Sure it's become more egalitarian lately, but, as far as I'm concerned, it still sucks.

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless


[ Parent ]
Are you sure??? by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 08:31:33 AM EST
Well, maybe Winston stole it from Mark then.

re: I never thought of it as an elitist sport, but we did spend quite a bit of time smugly standing on the fairway making fun of bowlers.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
If it makes you fel any better... by atreides (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 10:02:43 AM EST
...Emiliano Zapata, George Washington and William Pitt are all attributed as saying "It's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees". Maybe they all said it, maybe someone copied someone else. Who knows? Who cares?

Besides, when you have a field the size of Rhode Island to play your game, you might feel a bit removed (and perhaps even better than) from the landless hoi polloi. Now, I have nothing against that in theory (the hoi polloi suck), but needing the land to think yourself better is what, among other things, sickens me...

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless


[ Parent ]
IAWTP by lb008d (2.00 / 0) #16 Thu Jul 13, 2006 at 05:51:38 AM EST
As difficult as learning to play an instrument at a professional level.

[ Parent ]
Say by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #17 Thu Jul 13, 2006 at 06:51:35 AM EST
Do you ever have those days when the fingers just don't seem to do what you want them to do?

Do you ever tinker with learning any other instruments?

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Re: instruments. by lb008d (2.00 / 0) #18 Thu Jul 13, 2006 at 08:03:30 AM EST
Oh I have days when the fingers don't do what they want and it usually correlates with not practicing enough. Funny, that.

As for tinkering, I play some saxophone and have tried to learn piano, but couldn't find the time to practice.

Speaking of instruments, how about my new contrabassoon:

<a href=" title="">

It's pretty amazing. Read about it [here.

[ Parent ]
Yeow by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #19 Thu Jul 13, 2006 at 08:50:23 AM EST
That's bigger than the space shuttle, what's that thing weigh? And I'd almost be afraid to ask what a thing like that cost.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
I'm not sure about the weight. by lb008d (2.00 / 0) #20 Thu Jul 13, 2006 at 09:10:21 AM EST
In the case it's pretty heavy, but it's a really protective case:

By itself it's pretty manageable.

I should post pix of the keywork - I have honestly never seen better keywork on any instrument. Like I said, I'll post recordings once I get a little better with the fingerings.

[ Parent ]
nicknames by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Jul 12, 2006 at 08:20:28 AM EST
i still get called bj on rare occasions. never bothered me although certain people got a kick out of it.

Three blind man and a hermaphrodite walk into a bar... | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback