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The B.A.D.TM

Clubbing baby seals to death since 1973...



  • I bought some soy milk oer the weekend. It's okay I guess. That is to say it doesn't suck and it's not as horrible as I thought it would be. I got the regular mix and think I'm going to try the extra vanilla flavoured stuff next time. On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know the best place to buy a hemp totebag? I've suddenly got a strong urge to buy one, along with some hemp sandals.
  • I was at the Huge Hawk grocery outlet on Saturday, going through the self-scan line which I completely love now even though I scorned it when it first came around. I've got all the bar-code items scanned and I'm down to the produce which you have to set on the little weigher thingy then push the correct button for that type of produce. Simple stuff, no? I grab the onion from my basket and press the "FRESH PRODUCE" button on the screen. A favourites screen pops up and right there I see "yellow onion" which I push. The machine says (it talks to you) "move your YELLOW ONION to the belt" which I do.

    About one second after I plop the onion on the belt and it starts the journey down to the packing area I hear this loud shrill voice yelling SPANISH SPANISH SPANISH and I look up to see this Huge Hawk worker women running over towards me. She grabs the onion from the belt and proceeds to tell me that "it's a Spanish onion, not a yellow onion." Like who would know? Let alone that, she could tell that from half way across the store???? Damn. So she types some magic code and undoes the yellow onion price and then runs it through with the Spanish onion price, saving me 6 friggin cents. That's right, she saved me from almost certain financial ruin as I was OVERCHARGING MYSELF 6 WHOLE CENTS for that onion. Crikey.

  • I watched The Sting and Dogville over the weekend. The Sting holds up pretty well and was pretty entertaining. Meanwhile I only got about 45 minutes into Dogville and hit the eject button. P.U. Alright, it gets good reviews, maybe I just wasn't in the mood for it, but I couldn't even begin to get interested in it. Maybe if it was like a regular movie and not some play with no props I would have liked it better, but as it stands I couldn't be arsed to watch the whole thing.
  • A friend of mine loaned me a copy of The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt which I'm about 200 pages into. Thus far it's great and he's my new hero. Anyone who would threaten to bite a political nemesis in the balls, to his face, is an alright chap to me.
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Get yer motor runnin | 39 comments (39 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Get thee to Canididaistan, my good man! by greyrat (4.00 / 2) #1 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:32:28 AM EST
Everyone grows, smokes, and manufactures with hemp up there. Why, I just recently purchased a lovely hemp hat for my head. Get it -- hemp...head? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA #COUGH# #WHEEZE#  AAAAA!!!!

d000d, check your local laws by georgeha (4.00 / 5) #2 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:33:08 AM EST
some states are like, so uptight, that even owning hemp is like a felony, even when it's the hemp that produces more fiber and oil per acre while rejuvenating the land than a whole busload of oil wells and stuff, and you can't even smoke it, but they're like "It's hemp, it's illegal, you're going to jail hippy" and you try and tell them you can't even smoke it, but they hit you over the head with the billy club.


Be sure to pick up by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:34:44 AM EST
your natural 'Native American Hair' tampons while you're out. Soy milk and all those phyto-estrogens will do bad stuff to you, man..

Computers, onions and inventory, man. Bob, what if every rube went about putting the wrong classification of their onion/pepper/apple. There's a reason you gotta get it right, so that the giant eagle can re-order the correct stock. Imagine your chagrin when you come back the next week, and there's rotting spanish onions in the aisles and no yellow onions ? Hmm ? Do you like communism to, boy ?

Good point by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:21:05 AM EST
I've read that too much soy gives you man-boobs, so I'll be on the lookout for that, for sure. As it stands I've lost 5 pounds on my low-fat diet, without even trying mind you, so I'm as cut and buff as I've been in a while.

re: I hadn't thought about the inventory angle of it, maybe you're right, maybe it is important. Hmpf, either way I'm never going back to that store, that's for darned sure. You should have seen everybody stop what they were doing to stare at me while that lady was running and screaming "SPANISH"  from half way across the damn store.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
I'm the opposite on self checkout by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 2) #4 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:37:05 AM EST
I loved the idea at first, but now I'm not really into it. For one thing, checking out is an inherently parallelizable task--one person loads the conveyor belt up, the next swipes and the last loads the bags. For another, you have to wait 3 times as long whenever there's a problem and there is always a problem. Missing UPC, machine caught robotic bird flu, scale on the fritz--whatev. And lastly, if the guy in front of my brings 13 items into the 12 items or fewer line, is the machine going to yell at him or should I do it? I'm never sure.

---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
That's what children are for by lm (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:58:05 AM EST
On those few occasions where we buy few enough items  so that we can go through the self checkout, it goes quick.

On the other hand, hell is going to Home Depot, collecting supplies for a moderately large project and finding that the only check out open is the self-checkout.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
So do you by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:11:10 AM EST
stand there like a <grumble grumble grumble> if there's only the check-out girl, and make her scan everything and bag everything ? Too haughty to actually stoop to bagging your own groceries ?

/major pet peeve, I don't care if you're paying them, you're slowing the !@#$@ line down ya blue haired jerkoff

[ Parent ]
Not at the Huge Hawk! by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:16:05 AM EST
They have all new equipment that "just works."

In fact once you get good at the actual scanning it's light years better than having a lackey do it for you. It did take me a few times through the scanning process before I got good at aiming the bar-code at the just the proper angle and whatnot, but now I'm an ace!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
You guys still have those? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #26 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:25:48 PM EST
We tried them in Soviet UKia for a while, on the basis that 95% of customers are honest.  Well, fine and dandy, but guess which checkout the other 5% choose to use 100% of the time?

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
They're coming back by TurboThy (4.00 / 2) #27 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 02:07:23 AM EST
${LARGE_UK_RETAILER_(FIVE_LETTERS)} are buying into ${MY_BIG_CORP_(THREE LETTERS)}'s self checkout service. To deter scotsmendishonest customers, there are two scales on it - one that weighs your bag before scanning and one that weighs it afterwards (presumably this could be extended with a weight database in the system, but I actually don't know if it is).
__
Sommerhus til salg, første række til Kattegat.
[ Parent ]
"Bag before scanning"? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #30 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 02:54:22 AM EST
You have to bag it, scan it, then bag it again?  That saves me time how?

I'm really interested as to why they put in pay-at-the-pump facilities in fuelolium stations, and then took them out again or disabled them.  I'm thinking it was just a revenue loser for them.  Who can resist a tube of Pringlestm ® © on the way to the tills?

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

[ Parent ]
Sorry, imprecise wording by TurboThy (4.00 / 1) #32 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 03:15:40 AM EST
Not bags. Baskets? Actually, I have no idea what you're using for holding your groceries while shopping in UKia. We use baskets around here.

You're (partially) right on the petroilium conspiracy theory. Also, with combined pay here / pay at the till pumps, it is easier to fill up and slip away unnoticed without paying.
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Sommerhus til salg, første række til Kattegat.

[ Parent ]
We use illegal immigrants by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #34 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 04:09:05 AM EST
They're cheaper than trolleys, because they can return themselves to the rack after you're done with them.

I'm not convinved that the pumps are a driveaway issue.  If you're going to drive away, you're going to drive away, and they'll have it on film either way.  It might be an issue of just forgetting to pay once you get used to it.  It felt really weird paying and driving for the 2.3 days that the things were active over here, but I imagine you'd get blasé pretty quickly.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

[ Parent ]
At one of my local gas stations by TurboThy (4.00 / 1) #35 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 04:23:38 AM EST
you have to leave a deposit at the till before even filling up. The station is right next to a large exit road, meaning quick getaways. As for being caught on film - meh. If you've stolen a ride, you probably don't have any compunctions about stealing 50 quids worth of gas anyway. Add to this the guys driving around on untrackable trial plates borrowed from their auto mechanic cousin, MCs with obstructed plates ... wahey. Also, borrowed cars ... as long as you have an alibi, you're not required by law to incriminate your immediate family. Hey, bro? Lend me the keys, then I'll fill 'er up ...

Yes, I live in one of the less savoury parts of Cph.
__
Sommerhus til salg, første række til Kattegat.

[ Parent ]
Last night me and some friends watched South Park by lm (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:39:12 AM EST
One of the episodes we watched was the one where all the men and boys (except for Kyle) turned gay from watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

I'm starting to feel like I'm seeing that play out right in front of me.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
BUY a hemp bag? by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:46:25 AM EST
You should be weaving it yourself, man.

Hate the self checkouts. They're soooo slow.

Beep. Three ..... fourty ..... nine .... place item in bag... Scan next item.... Seventy ..... eight ... place item in bag .....

Ugh.

And whatever happened to articles?  Place THE item in THE bag. Scan THE next item. What is this? A Charlie Chan shopping experience?
--
Close friendships and a private room can offer most of the things love does.

Our checkouts are better by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #10 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:11:52 AM EST
You don't have to put it in a bag after scanning it, you place it on a conveyor belt which takes it down to the bagging area. So you can scan stuff like a rabbit on meth, then bag them all at once after you've scanned and paid. I've got it down to an science.

In fact one time the lady standing in line behind me said "you look like you've done this before" after watching me in action. Or, now that I think of it, maybe she meant that she thought I looked like a bag-boy...

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Ours don't have belts by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #19 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 12:00:23 PM EST
It's just a little shelf next to the scanner thingy where you put your bag. You have to bag it as you scan it. See, that way they can get two stations in the same space as one station-belt combo.

Of course, around here, you'd get done scanning and paying, and when you walked down tot he end of the belt, everything would be gone.
--
Close friendships and a private room can offer most of the things love does.

[ Parent ]
I've seen those at TOPPS by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #23 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 12:15:31 PM EST
They're a rival store. I refuse to shop there with such an inferior auto-checkout schema. I need a first-class luxuriously roomy checkout area or it isn't going to happen.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Articles appear to be casualties of... by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #20 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 12:01:52 PM EST
business writing.

"the" shall soon join "tome", "prithee" and "commodore 64 programmer" as a word known only to grammatistaticians.

--
Knock, Knock.

[ Parent ]
Hippy. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:57:36 AM EST
I don't think anyone "got" your "joke" about wanting a hippy bag and sandals after buying hippy food.

Wait...is it hippy or hippie?  Either way, you get the point. Or I do.  Or...something.

What was I saying?
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

d00d! Quit Bogarting the joint! by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #12 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:19:17 AM EST
Damn! That's good stuff...

[ Parent ]
Yep by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #14 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:23:02 AM EST
I've been waiting for months to be able to work a good hemp tote-bag joke into a diary and the thing fell flat on it's face. Ah well, maybe I should have made a reference to hugging a tree.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Or dying a tie. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:24:17 AM EST
Or maybe an "I'll be greatful when I'm dead" bumpersticker.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
self checkouts by alprazolam (4.00 / 1) #16 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:45:10 AM EST
i hate them and refuse to use them. especially because i'm not going to go around carrying some albertsons gps chip around on my keychain so they can spy on me or report to the feds how much manure i'm buying.

soy milk huh. yea good look with that. next thing you know you'll have a loofah in your shower.

oh yea, one more thing...SPANISH SPANISH SPANISH

Loofah!! by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #17 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:54:41 AM EST
Where do you buy those anyways? Not that I'm going to get one, of course.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Ask Bill O'Rielly. Eww! Or maybe not. by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:58:07 AM EST


[ Parent ]
noooooo by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #29 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 02:43:57 AM EST
/me tackles bob out of the path of danger

bacterial paradise, those things. if you love your skin, you'll avoid them like the plague they probably carry.
Send me to Austria!

[ Parent ]
Masculine loofa alternative: by crux (4.00 / 1) #38 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 07:35:13 AM EST
The big ol' long-handled back-scrubbin-brush. Yessir!

[ Parent ]
That stripey suit Redford wears in The Sting? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 4) #21 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 12:10:44 PM EST
Farmgirl keeps bugging me to get one like that.  I mean, seriously.  It's like some fucking brain disease she's got from knitting too many hemp tote bags.  "Yah blah, you'd look good in that, natter blah why does nobody wear clothes like that any m- ooh, kittens."  You see why I have to keep a picture of kittens handy all the time?

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
Yeah by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 5) #22 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 12:13:19 PM EST
Seeing as how you already fell for that once with the whole "you'd look good in a skirt" thing it's best that you've got your guard up.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Spanish!? by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #24 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 01:06:25 PM EST
They sold you a spanish onion!?

Go back to Mexico!

Teddy's my favorite prez as well. Did you get to the part where some guy tried to assassinate him by stabbing him in the chest, so he disarmed the guy and then went on to deliver a political speech with a bleeding stab-wound?

I'd like to see W try that!
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

Hemp! by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #25 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 02:14:37 PM EST
Good Lord son.  Don't you know the evil of hemp?  You see son, hemp is a form of the cannabis plant.  You know what cannabis is right?  It's a plant grown from the Devil's very own seed.  Now I don't want to appear to be a square, but don't you think it's good to forget about this hemp talk?  After all we wouldn't want to see the Devil win, would we? 




---------------
Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
Self scanning by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #28 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 02:38:15 AM EST
A couple of months ago I was paying for my stuff by putting coins into one of those machines when it suddenly claimed I hadn't given it any money. I'd put about four quid in. I complained and the manager made out that I was trying to get away without paying. So I waited till he'd gone and just walked out with my stuff, taking a packet of sweets on my way out. Cunt.

Also, I don't like the way the machine tells me to take my change and receipt, it talks to me like I'm a baby or something.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

Fight the power (nt). by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 1) #31 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 02:57:13 AM EST


--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]
He never stops. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #33 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 03:57:43 AM EST
He's our own cuddly anarchist.

Well, I imagine he's cuddly. Even if I met him in person, cuddling anything higher than the elbows wouldn't be possible.

[ Parent ]
Nice sig. by Alice Pulley (2.00 / 0) #36 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 04:57:55 AM EST
Not kitT.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]
For today only. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #37 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 05:17:24 AM EST
I think it would drive me mad in the long term.

[ Parent ]
I want to useit. by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #39 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 07:57:35 AM EST
But fruit scares me off.  Maybe next trip I'll use the, wait wait, no that means Ihave to bag my own groceries.  Fuck that.

--
Blizzard of Death '06
Get yer motor runnin | 39 comments (39 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback