Print Story Apparently Back in Cali... Cali... Cali
Yeh yeh yeh, I only come see you lot when I can't update my own site. I know... I know.. I'm a terrible whore of a shell of a person. You can fuck right off.

Anyway, semi-lucid stuff to follow; I think anyway.

Poll: Who's the puppet?



So here I am in Sunny Sacramento once again! This time it's for a two week stint it seems and I shan't be venturing out into SF over the weekend as I'm too poor to spend my own money round about those parts. (Sorry to disappoint anyone with this by the way.)

This trip was a bit of a surprise as it came so soon after, but at least I knew what I was in for this time around. At least the hotel is better but the car is much, much shittier. I'll get to that in a moment.

I have decided I hate the entire act of flying. Don't get me wrong, I love being up in the air, but the whole jumbled mess of people bothers the hell out of me.

See, I took the plane out of STL and had a quick stop in Phoenix. (Note: As we headed toward town the Captain said, "Prepare for our descent into Phoenix", but I was knee-deep in a book reading my way to freedom from this hell and I heard "Prepare for our descent into MADNESS!" I thought, "Well alllriiiight then. This I can get down with!" But no, it was just Phoenix.) For the entire ride from STL to Phoenix I had to sit next to a young portly pale-white nun. I thought this might cause an issue what with my horns showing and all, but she seemed perfectly pleased to keep to herself. Excellent.

At Phoenix though, "How do you solve a problem like Maria" left and on walked this elder ebony lady looking all sweet and demure. This shows you, folks, that looks can be deceiving. Oh, I was all worried about the nun, but not so with the sweet elder black lady. Damn my reverse prejudice! (Or something?)

Anyway, so she saddles up and the first thing that hits me is that this woman smells of meat and jism for some reason. It's... it's fucking stifling is what it is. I am scrambling like a cat on crack to try and define what the hell this scent could be. In the meantime, she has been trying to strike up a conversation with me about various plane related things. "Have you flown before? What are you here for? Etc etc." I hate smalltalk, and this stench is making me even more uncomfy. Obviously perturbed by my curt (but polite) answers she guffaws and opens her purse to get a book of her own, the Bible.

I'm down with whatever you want to believe, but it's a sign of my own unfairness that I'm always a little creeped out when people want to read the bible just.. as it is. You know, like it was a book? *shudder* Anyway, that's neither here nor there since I can't concentrate on my own book (Catch22 by Joseph Heller if you must know) because of the wafting scent.

It becomes readily apparent what this smell is as she tires of the bible immediately after the go-ahead for electronic devices. She sets about herself to pull out some stored meal from a place I assume was in the airport. It is a dish of Steak and Shrimp. She lays this out oppulently spilling over onto my lap even (Seriously I had to hold the candellabra and the wine glasses and play the violing and suchlike. It was a mess. I don't even know how to play the violin.) Meanwhile she's also watching "Ice Princess" on a mini-DVD player, but she has no headphones so I get to hear the yap-yap-yapping of heavily retarded Disney saccharine bullshit while I try, in vain, to read.

All the while I'm doing this, it is as though I have stuck my head into a bag filled with warmed up day-old semen and steak sauce. I would've rather huffed paint, such was this smell. (It didn't help that I was a tad bit over before hung and such I'm certain but really now, it's cramped in there people... CRAMPED!)

So as I wasn't reading I tried to watch out the window as words floated in the space of my mind. If you have gotten so jaded that Mountains do not fill you with childlike awe then you need to off yourself this very instant. I mean that.

I watched rivlets of water shimmy-shake down the snow-kissed peaks of Sierras as it gave way to farmland in patchwork patterns of green and grey; some soaked, some stagnat. Every time I would smile in abject delight that damned foul stench would rise up yet again and pull me back down into the stinking mire of my situation.

This is how I began my journey back here.

Then I got the car. Some old Pontiac piece of whatever. The left front wheel goes "SEEKASEEKASEEKA" whenever you drive. At first I thought this was the break pads going out, but that's only because I was only listening when I broke (braked? Brizzneaked?); it just gets louder then. There's a CD player in it, but man I was spoiled by the Sirius last time.

I may have to trash it.

So the room has a full kitchen, that's better as I don't really want to eat out alone for 2 weeks straight; that will get real old. I suspect I'll just hole up like last time and go slowly insane. It's what I do best really. I should just accept my "DESCENT... INTO MADNESS!"

I'll let you all know how it goes. (I say that, but really, we all know I'll just show up with a rambly diary or two and disappear again. I'm doing my little death thing. Petit Mort.)

Also, hi.

-Q

< As it turns out.. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Apparently Back in Cali... Cali... Cali | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Room with a kitchen? by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 09:48:15 AM EST
so torch the room or torch the car ? Or drive the car into the room and torch it all ?

Hrm... by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:29:04 AM EST
the car DOES have a lot of flammable materials in the trunk at the moment.

Not counting in the full tank of gas of course...


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
"Descent"? by blixco (4.00 / 3) #2 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:11:44 AM EST
I dunno.  Wouldn't the likes of you have to ascend into madness?
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
Well essentially yes... by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #3 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:28:22 AM EST
That certainly is a conundrum now then, innit?


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
Certainly by blixco (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:32:12 AM EST
given your hatred of flying.  I'm thinking it's some sort of latent religiosity: you don't want to get closer to damnation.

I say: embrace the tiger, Q.  EMBRACE THE MOTHERFUCKING TIGER.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Good gravy I hope not. by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:37:48 AM EST
I suspect it's some bad Chinese I had the night prior. I mean that stuff can make you all kinds of loopy.

Do they actually.. you know... eat tigers?


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
YOU KNOW THEY DO. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:45:43 AM EST
THEY want all sorts of fanged madness in a bowl.  Tony the Tiger, there's a typical westernized shunt, a bad simulacra at something meaningful.  Goddamn western medicine.  We do all this cold cereal nonsense to ensure that our kids don't touch themselves, and look what happens.  What happens?  All that flesh on the streets, all those myspace sluts, all these modern sleek young things sexed out by the time they hit 15, and look at us, look at us, this derided, decayed, ridiculous society.

Goddamn.  Makes you want to slap a bastard.  Makes you want to jump up and down on some schmuck's head just 'cause he's driving a pimped out Honda Civic with like five thousand dollar rims and an income big enough to support 'em.

Motherfuckers are getting on my last nerve, man.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Jeezus H. Fuckstick by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #12 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:50:28 AM EST
I see this game. It is a spy clown car all piled up with seltzer water and teething madness at the sight of these things. Oh they'll bounce on their jackanape springs they will!

Murder and Mayhem to the high heavens and may the blood run like chocolate syrup on all the sundae's of the little children. "Don't worry honey, it's strawberry sauce." Straaawwwberrry Sauce.

"Why is there blood on your eyes?"
"Because that's the way you can truly see!"

Pandemic Pontifications!


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
We're by blixco (4.00 / 1) #15 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:53:04 AM EST
getting away from the point, but your eventual midnight chest-grabbing gasping-for-breath shock at the reasons for our imminent apocalypso will come as no surprise to those of us In The Know.

I have literature.  I can send it to you but fear that it will arrrive both too late and altered beyond recognition.  Suffice it to say that your best bet is to regard any mail mentioning the numbers "17" and "21" as suspect.

Your recognition is almost complete; the worm turns at midnight!
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Day 24: Found Foul Water by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #17 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:57:01 AM EST
It burbled and boiled through the ground like sloshing sickness in swamps. I didn't know there was even a wellspring out here.

Carrying years of resilience with itself, it dragged and droned upwards till the soil could not hold, and there; there did it waft on the wind the sins of the foul terra firma sealed rotted core lying beneath. Some children, apt to be curious, stood about this smouldering mass; vainly attempting to prod it with sticks.

As I was wont to tell them to scurry on their way, it gurgled; this puddle. It wept and gurgled. Wept and gurgled away from the monkeymass of children yammering about with their bits of bark. Wept and gurgled and drained itself back to whence it came, never to warn us ever again what sleeps beneath us all. In our minds and in our soil.

Those children have never been the same since.


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
It's a generational thing, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #20 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:05:20 AM EST
that Hiroshima-in-the-headlights look in their eyes, that conmfort-with-sadness, lack-of-soul thing.  There's probably a 102 letter german word for just that sort of phrase, but the closest thing i have in English is: fucked.

Proper fucked?  No.

The world, she turns.  She don't care.  She's a rock and bacteria and some other things moving through space, but she doesn't, ya know, emote.

It's our emotions that cause this gaia-like depth to our feeling; we insist on that perception.  The crust is thin, there.

The air heavy.

The speed, huge.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
This... by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #9 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:46:51 AM EST
tiger?

Please forgive the silly-assed java on this site.
--
I've got more than one membership to more than one club, and I owe my life to the people that I love. - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Oh boy I hope not. by blixco (4.00 / 2) #11 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:48:51 AM EST
That guy needs to be dropped from an airplane onto a stadium filled with porcupines.  Porcupines all angered up with cheap booze and delayed starts to the Nascar they so desired to see.  Meth addicted truck driving porcupines with quills the size of my legs.

He can crowd surf for a while, then be used as hotdog fodder.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Oh humanity by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:51:27 AM EST
You never cease to amuse me.


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
Uh. by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #14 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:52:15 AM EST
Thanks. I think.
--
I've got more than one membership to more than one club, and I owe my life to the people that I love. - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Heh. by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:53:20 AM EST
I was patronizing him, not you miss.

Hrm.. although you do have the name Toxicfur.... :P


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
Am I not a part of humanity? by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:57:11 AM EST
Do I not bleed when the tattoo artist applies his needle? Do I not wince when the piercer plunges a hoop through my ear?

Granted, if I ever consider having my teeth filed and whiskers implanted, I want ana to take me out and put me down. If ana won't, maybe blixco will.
--
I've got more than one membership to more than one club, and I owe my life to the people that I love. - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Oh you can make sure blixco will by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #19 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:02:15 AM EST
all you have to offer him is a staggering array of weaponry and maybe a kiss on the cheek. I know this from experience.... I've said too much!

Do you not bleed? If you do not, this is a problem. They have medicine for that now... I think.


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
Tomorrow is MisterQueue Day. by superdiva (4.00 / 2) #7 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:41:22 AM EST
Have fun.  Burn down an orphanage.  Or something.

_________________________________________________


For we are many....
Hey you're right! by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #10 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 10:47:42 AM EST
Yay Yay 6 and 2/3rd's day!

Hallelujah I thought the day would never come!

Let's us all burn down some orphanages; it's so beautiful in my mind.


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
Wait! by Improbus (4.00 / 1) #21 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 11:55:38 AM EST
There is a difference between reality and madness?  What a novel concept.



If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago. --- Oma Desala
Naw.. I was only foolin' by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #22 Mon Jun 05, 2006 at 12:40:39 PM EST
I mean really. Can you see me hubnubbinbubbraheeezy? Clearly the answer is no.


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
Heh by hulver (4.00 / 1) #23 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 12:50:06 AM EST

--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
Guaranteed! by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #24 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 04:26:32 AM EST
The real question is: Does it come full of centipedes?


------------
I did invent the wheel in a previous generation.

[ Parent ]
Vagina cleaning centipedes by hulver (4.00 / 1) #25 Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 04:54:21 AM EST
That live on shrimp!
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
[ Parent ]
Apparently Back in Cali... Cali... Cali | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback