Print Story A Day in the Life

When a two-year-old asks if the ocean's wet because it's full of water, you can't help but smile. The kid's starting to get a grip on logic (or on winding people up). Almost as amusing is the failed logic of that same child refusing to eat a peach because his best friend ate a peach the week before and fell down afterwards, cutting himself badly.

It's not so amusing when adults do this, and even less so when they're supposed to be professionals. It must be a Full Sun -- these are all tickets which came in since last night:

x-posted to the blog.

We running $YourBigApp version X. We noticed since Friday on production system some attachments attach and some won't. Only some small attachments can write, then none.

The attachments directory \\machine\directory was filled up Friday. We delete files not need and now 16G's of free space is available. Not sure if the full disk cause files issues.

You're not sure if a full disk caused file save failures? Are you equally unsure that the pen's out of ink when it only scratches the paper rather than leaving marks or could another possibility be that the Moon is in Virgo and the temporal plane is affected in just such a way as to prevent you writing at that spot which happens to be exactly 3 arc-seconds from a major ley line crossing?
We want to apply all of the language packs except for CHS and CHT. Up until this point, we've only applied the language packs in environments running a Unicode database. We want to know if there are any known issues with applying the language packs to an environment that is currently running non-unicode (1252 code page).
Well Hoss, how are you going to cram a couple hundred thousand Unicode characters into space that only holds 256? WinZip?
We are seeing low performance on $LocalClient workstations with 512MB of system memory. Although this is the minimum amount required it still means that if users have other applications open available memory will soon be not enough. Can you test and confirm that 512MB is the minimum amount really necessary?

In your documentation it says we could expect up to 70% performance improvement with increases in CPU speed and memory. Shouldn't you list higher specs as the minimum since the program runs faster then?

I need a minimum of five cups of coffay a day to work. Give me eight and I'll work a lot better. Give me 12-15 and I'm on a ticket rampage. But I need at least five. Is minimum such a difficult concept?

We need to add a minimum intellect restriction -- a Punch the Monkey banner could probably weed out half of them.

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A Day in the Life | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I was going to say these diaries are getting by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #1 Tue Jun 27, 2006 at 03:20:20 AM EST
tedious, but I still got a smile. Nice to see I can still appreciate ironysufferinginsanitystupidity.

Oh, and Poll should be multi-select...

NEED CLOSURE ON THESE ANECDOTES by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Jun 27, 2006 at 04:49:18 AM EST
What root cause did you assign?  I can't sleep until I know!

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
17. Duh! by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #3 Tue Jun 27, 2006 at 05:05:57 AM EST
In order the best I could do was:

6: No understanding
13: Unsupported
6: No understanding

You get a special Root Cause: Borgenteen for having to ask.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Slow by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Jun 27, 2006 at 07:40:24 AM EST
Reminds me of a project I was on back in the late 90's. They asked as what the hardware requirements were. We said "IBM PC Compatible". We spent a couple months developing on a 10 megaherz 80286. I arrived at the customer site to install and was shown to an original IBM PC.

They complained that the application ran slow.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

Minimums are for fools! by duxup (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Jun 27, 2006 at 09:19:52 AM EST
refusing to eat a peach because his best friend ate a peach the week before and fell down afterwards, cutting himself badly

That's awesome.  I'm going to have to use that one sometime.

My recent favorite in my world of customers:

Have you tested product X and Y with code version xA and yB?

Not yet.  Code version xA on product X is not even finished yet, so there has been no testing.  It is still quite a ways a way away from release.

Oh, because we want to install <insanely stupid piece of hardware that defeats most of the purpose of owning product X> in product X.  The vendor tells us we’re going to need code version A to use it.  But that means that <notes all the drawbacks of stupid hardware> so we were hoping that your product, product Y would take care of all that mess with code yB.

I see your point.  That does suck.  Unfortunately I don’t know how well those two will work together until there some testing done and since there is no code  there has been no testing.

Do you anticipate any problems with code xA?

… Well.  This is how it is.  We make product Y.  The other company makes product X.  As awesome as our product Y is, the fact is that we’re competitors with the folks who make product X.  Accordingly when they make new code they like to toss in little changes that hork us up.  You remember how the last time you upgraded to bleeding edge, and once even unreleased (where the hell did you get that anyway?) code and everything didn’t work?   Yeah I would anticipate some problems if you do that again.

So do you know if it will work or not for sure or not?

Only one way to find out…

Cool, we’ll let you know when we plan to upgrade.

* sigh *


You work for Citrix and I claim my £20. by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Jun 27, 2006 at 12:48:05 PM EST
Not to mention my three gallons of blood from your corpse.

Instead of loving everyone all the time, join me in the dark side and blog about the many aspects of a Hell which at least pays better than USD40/EUR35/GBP24 per hou, plus insurance and benefits.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
I work for Citrix? by duxup (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Jun 27, 2006 at 03:47:20 PM EST
The worker is always the last to know :(
[ Parent ]
A Day in the Life | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback