Print Story A Day in the Life
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 04:09:12 AM EST) A Day in the Life, cubicle, no room on the train, pie (all tags)
Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right

Forgetting my building access badge this morning cost me an hour to go back home and return at the height of rush hour, a commute made even worse by all the tourists riding the same line on their way to the stadium. Packed into the subway some weasel looked at me and asked me to move left.

"I can't move any further left."
"But more people are trying to get in the train."

x-posted to bog spot



"Look! I'm already shoulder-to-shoulder with this woman." She didn't look up from her book.
"But, but I have no room," he whined, trying to push me a bit.
"There is no room to the left. If I move any further left I'll be fucking this lady."
The not-at-all attractive woman smiled; the weasel shut up. Fuckwit.

That was just the prelude. I got my morning coffay. We have these big filter coffee machines which dump into 2-litre, pump-action thermos containers. As I filled my Supermug (which holds about 5 "normal" cups of coffay") I noticed foam. The fuckwit cleaners left soap in the thermos and I had to wait another 15 minutes as I brewed another round.

On to the tickets and I got a doozy:

We're in the process of designing a highly redundant environment and after some research we have decided to test a combination of Cluster Services and load balancing.

Our question is directed at how the $YourBigApp name server and app servers are installed on a cluster server. Our IT department prefers to set an Active-Passive cluster without using a disk array.

"After some research" meaning, "We stuck our thumbs up our asses and pulled out this idea."

The whole point of a cluster is that multiple machines access the same applications and files from the shared disk array. If one machine goes down, the other is still running and handles the load. The name server data has to be stored on the shared disk array. We wrote a great big FAQ on how to set up a cluster with every possible architecture which works.

In some instances this sort of configuration might be possible, but not with $OurBigApp. The name server includes all the system configurations. Without a shared disk array, you'd have to shut down the system in order to replicate the information across all the cluster nodes.

So they don't really understand how a cluster works, they didn't pay attention in class when the entire $OurBigApp system architecture was described, and didn't even look in the Knowledge Base.

While it may appear that I get a sweetie out of all this, I'm certain they're going to come back to me a dozen times whining like children about how they don't want to use a shared disk array and couldn't they maybe just do <insert laughable and unworkable solution>. This will be followed by them questioning my knowledge of clusters, then their business needs, and finally a request for management involvement and re-assignment to another monkey before finally accepting that their cockamamie idea won't work.

I'm sitting at a brand new desk but already one can make out a slight, my-head-shaped dent in front of the keyboard.

Because my Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit has yet to be implemented, they'll get off lightly with either a Root Cause: 6-No Research or maybe a Root Cause: 6.5-No Understanding. It's hard to choose.

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A Day in the Life | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
You seem to have some anger issues by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 04:24:34 AM EST
Have you considered therapy?

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Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
If by 'therapy' you mean 'lots of alcohol', yes. by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 04:34:16 AM EST
Otherwise, no. I'm an angry not-so-young-anymore man. I was born to be a grumpy old man yelling at the kids to stay off my grass and muttering to myself on a park bench, except that I don't go out to parks.

It's usually well under control but fuckwittedness brings it out. When you've got 300 people crammed into carriage designed to hold a maximum of 260 and you already can't move, what do you do when some twit asks you to make some room for him?

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Hmm, by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 06:27:15 AM EST
why would 300 people all get in the same vehicle?

I can't imagine that question translating into New Hampshireese.

[ Parent ]
Tourists by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 08:24:20 AM EST
They should ban tourists on trains during commute hours.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
I hate when I forget my badge by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 05:16:54 AM EST
I can get a temporary paper badge, but it doesn't open the lab doors, so I have to wait until someone is coming in or out.


Wallets by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 08:15:53 AM EST
I put my badge in my wallet. This works because my train ticket is also in my wallet, so if (as happened this morning) I forget my wallet, I discover it within a mile of my house.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
I tend to lose wallets. by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 09:39:01 AM EST
The last one had not only credit cards abnd bank cards (€10 per to replace), but also US$200, €550, £180 and ISK35,000. The one before that was pickpocketed during Oktoberfest. I carry the cards I need at the moment bare in my pocket. Luckily that normally only means "public transport pass" at home, maybe a couple customer cards when shopping. I pay almost exclusively in cash.

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

[ Parent ]
A Day in the Life | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback