Print Story Trusting Soul
Diary
By DullTrev (Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 12:05:53 PM EST) fiction, feel free to move along, it's no good anyway, trust me (all tags)

Gary hated Jack. Gary worked as a barman in Jack's pub. Gary also lived in the pub, in the pokey little spare room upstairs. Gary had agreed to the arrangement when he was new in town, and thought it was a good deal. But now Jack kept back money from his wages to pay for room and board, and Gary could never put enough together to move somewhere else. Jack didn't know any of this, and thought he was doing Gary a big favour, and would have been mortified at the suggestion he was causing problems in his life.

And because Gary hated Jack, he stole from him. It started off small, with the odd shot of whisky when he wasn't looking, but he quickly moved onto overcharging and short-changing the punters who were drunk enough, swiping the odd bit of float from the till, never enough to cause worries, just enough to annoy. Gary made sure he always did it when one of the other staff was on duty as well, just to make sure if there was any suspicion it would remain diffuse.

But Jack was a trusting soul, and never suspected a thing.



Sarah hated Jack. Sarah was Jack's wife, and lived with him above the pub. Sarah had always been the pretty one in school, the one who was going to make it out of here. But she had stupidly fallen in love with Jack. Jack's dream had only ever been to own a pub in this dead end town, so when he achieved that he didn't bother pushing any more. Sarah felt he had deliberately ignored what she wanted, her dreams, ill defined as they were, and that he just didn't care. Jack didn't know any of this, and thought he was providing for his family, and would have been mortified at the suggestion he was causing problems in her life.

And because Sarah hated Jack, she cheated on him. When she heard Jack downstairs, telling Gary he would clear up, and that he could go to bed, she waited the few minutes it would take for Gary to stumble, drunk, up the stairs, and collapse on his bed. Sarah left her bedroom, wearing only her dressing gown, and went to Gary's room. She pulled Gary's clothes off him, waking him from his stupor at the same time, and let her dressing gown fall. As she had done so many times before, she straddled Gary, feeling him enter her. As she moved rhythmically astride him, she hoped, as she had before, that Jack would suspect something, and burst in and find them.

But Jack was a trusting soul, and never suspected a thing.


Rachel hated Jack. Rachel was Jack's daughter, and was fifteen, so it was expected that she would hate her father. Rachel was a quiet girl, but had bloomed into a pretty young thing, taking after her mother in that respect. She hated her little room above the pub, and felt trapped in her life. Jack didn't know any of this, and felt incredible love for his daughter.

And because Rachel hated Jack, she belittled him. Rachel knew her mother was cheating on Jack, so she would ever so quietly open the door of Gary's room, and take photos of the oblivious pair as they rutted. She sold the photos to the customers of the pub, letting them see that Jack was being cuckolded by his own staff, under his own roof. She hoped that one of them would say something to Jack, or that Jack would suspect something from the smirks and knowing looks the drinkers in the pub would exchange whenever Sarah or Gary were behind the bar.

But Jack was a trusting soul, and never suspected a thing.


Kevin hated Jack. Kevin was Jack's son, and was seventeen. Kevin hated Jack because he had the room next to Rachel's, and he heard his father going in late at night. He heard the gentle pounding of the headboard against the wall, the slow creaking of the bed. He heard his father leave the room, and the sobs that came from his sister. Jack didn't know any of this, and would have been mortified at the thought his son felt like this.

And because Kevin hated Jack, he was going to kill him. He had taken the bread knife from the kitchen, and hid it behind his back. He went down the stairs to the pub, and smiled as he offered to help his father tidy up now the punters had left. His father turned to his son and smiled, proud of his work ethic. Kevin walked towards his father, hoping he wouldn't realise something was wrong, wouldn't realise what was about to happen.

But Jack was a trusting soul, and never suspected a thing.

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Trusting Soul | 29 comments (29 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Nice. by ana (4.00 / 2) #1 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 12:22:27 PM EST
Mighty roomy attic above the bar, though. ;-)

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

Indeed by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 12:33:23 PM EST

A lot of pubs over here are kind of like that - my old local was this kind of size. But the people who lived there weren't like this...


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Not too far off by Phage (4.00 / 1) #22 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 03:20:24 AM EST
I worked in an Earls Court pub for 18 months. My room was in the cellar.

[ Parent ]
Very good by gazbo (4.00 / 2) #2 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 12:32:49 PM EST
Really, I liked it.

May want to keep it from randomxs, though.


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

Yeah, by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #4 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 01:16:14 PM EST
He'd have Rachel in prison for life for taking those voyeuristic photos.

[ Parent ]
Thanks! (nt) by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:01:50 AM EST

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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
There's nothing you're not telling us, is there? by ambrosen (4.00 / 6) #5 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 01:17:13 PM EST
Nothing at all bothering you, Kevin DullTrev?

No by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #11 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:02:47 AM EST

If I had ben living in a pub when I was 17, I wouldn't have done anything to risk losing that.


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Spoken like a true HuSite by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #16 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:17:35 AM EST
I would have done the same. Except I can't imagine how completely I'd have buggered myself up. Still, can't have been any more miserable than I was aged 17. What a muppet I was.

[ Parent ]
can't have been any more miserable than...17 by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #28 Mon Jun 19, 2006 at 02:05:12 AM EST
True of most of us. Part of being a teenager.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
I like it. by komet (4.00 / 2) #6 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 01:53:50 PM EST
Nice repetitive structure with shocking ending.

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<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
Thanks! (nt) by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:03:14 AM EST

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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
wow by alprazolam (4.00 / 1) #7 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 04:36:43 PM EST
very nice. good job not letting the style overshadow the story.

Thanks! by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:03:50 AM EST

Wait... it had a style?


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
what's the word for it by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #25 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 03:38:48 AM EST
after reading i felt like it could have been a song.

[ Parent ]
Er by DullTrev (4.00 / 2) #27 Sun Jun 18, 2006 at 12:52:30 PM EST

You're telling me I wrote a musical?

Oh, the shame.


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Liked it by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #8 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 11:46:24 PM EST
Fucking depressing though.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

Thank you by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #9 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:00:06 AM EST

And yes, yes it is. But you say that as if it is a bad thing.


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
It is this morning by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #14 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:11:34 AM EST
Uuurgh my head. Oh please can I go back to bed.

It was something about the claustrophobic, small-town pub setting that particularly depressed me. Well drawn, nice one.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Depressing morning by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #15 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:13:11 AM EST

The secondment I was so thrilled about the other week has been cancelled.

I may have resigned by the end of the day.


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Oh shit by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #17 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:23:40 AM EST
That's a bit of a blow. I was made up for you over that.

So, your manager's manager has gone back on her word then?

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Someone has by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #18 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:26:20 AM EST

Whether it's the boss's boss, or the guy at the other end, I don't know. I've asked to see boss's boss today, if not sooner. If I think I'm just being messed around, I think it's time to walk.


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Yeah by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #19 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 12:36:39 AM EST
You've put up with it for a long time and stuck your neck out to get it fixed. I don't think there are any other options left.

Really sucks.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Vote to FP ! by Phage (4.00 / 2) #20 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 01:42:44 AM EST


You're too kind by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #21 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 01:52:14 AM EST

But thanks!


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Liked it by hulver (4.00 / 2) #23 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 03:28:16 AM EST
The only thing that I thought didn't fit was this bit

would have been mortified at the thought his son felt like this

He would have been surprised his son hated him for raping his sister? I don't think he would have been really.
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Cheese is not a hat. - clock

Ah by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #24 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 03:29:54 AM EST

I was more trying to suggest he would have been mortified that his son knew, but I agree, it's a bit ambiguous.


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DFJ?
[ Parent ]
+1FP by ammoniacal (4.00 / 5) #26 Fri Jun 16, 2006 at 05:29:30 PM EST
That should scare off the newbs.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

awesome by lolwhat (4.00 / 1) #29 Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 01:37:36 AM EST
I like how all the characters hate Jack's guts, and yet they all depend on him for a roof over their heads. Kevin apparently doesn't realize what a world of shit he'll cause for Gary, Sarah, Rachel and himself when he kills Jack. Yeah, I'd probably be desperate enough to do the same in his position, but I just may decide to go to the cops instead and save everyone some trouble. (That's if the cops actually give a damn, of course...)
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If cigarette packs are required to have pictures of diseased lungs, college brochures should be required to have photos of grads working at Starbucks.
Trusting Soul | 29 comments (29 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback