Print Story What did St Patrick say when he drove the snakes out of Ireland?
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By nebbish (Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 12:08:07 AM EST) Football, footie, footy, world cup (all tags)
You alright in the back there, snakes?


After taking 5 Es and sitting up all night discussing the finer points of Saturday's England-Paraguay match, came to the conclusion that there is no way England are going to win this World Cup. Not a chance. We were awful.

We also came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. Can I have a sip of your water mate?

You know how incredulous you get about things when you're off your face? You should have heard us talking about the referee, we were in hysterics.

Other thoughts, not necessarily ecstasy influenced:

Italy aren't going to win it either.

Apart from the England match, refereeing hasn't been too crazy.

Five pounds each way on USA was a waste of money.

Ecuador rocked. Possible giant killers.

Why everyone still seems to think Trinidad and Tobago will be a walkover after they held off Sweden is beyond me.

Costa Rica's kit is nice.

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What did St Patrick say when he drove the snakes out of Ireland? | 26 comments (26 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
With apologies to Iron Maiden... by Breaker (4.00 / 3) #1 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 12:41:37 AM EST
We'll be fine in the world cup.  We'll duff T&T over  with our set pieces and the Crouchosaur will have adapted his play slightly to provide a holding function.

Mickey to score in the 20th minute from a Crouch knockdown, then we've qualified from the group.  And that means:

I am he the Shreklike one
The predatory striker watching you
Pay money for the elderly whore
I'll infiltrate your gratitude
Don't you dare to save your son
Kill him now and save the young ones
Be the mother of a birth strangled babe
Be the devils own, Lucifer's my name
Roonchild - hear the mandrake scream
Roonchild - open the seventh seal
Roonchild - You'll be mine soon child
Roonchild - take my hand tonight

Ahem.


Ha ha ha ha! by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 12:45:29 AM EST
England - the Iron Maiden of the World Cup!

I'd be surprised if we didn't qualify from the group - it's getting any further that's a problem. Too inconsistent, too rubbish, Sven's too mad.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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But the Roonchild will be back then by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #8 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 01:21:14 AM EST
And he'll be KICKING ARSE AND TAKING NAMES!

Get back on the Good Ship Mindless Optimism, would you?  Getting a bit lonely here!


[ Parent ]
OK, OK by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 01:26:11 AM EST
A decent performance on Thursday will probably change my mind about our chances. Until then though, I'm not convinced.

I think Owen's fitness is just as important, so if he bucks up then so will I.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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You watch by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 02:50:12 AM EST
When we pile into T&T for a full 90 minutes the press will be all over Sven and our World Cup heroes.

Owen's been looking sharper and sharper everytime I've seen him in an Engerlandland shirt.  A couple of times he broke through and was given offside, but his pace and touch were good.  Only being able to play 70 minutes in that heat was fine by me; he'll do the full 90 on Thursday.  And score first as well.


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I hope you're right by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 02:55:37 AM EST
I really do.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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Have a little faith. by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #26 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 04:48:06 AM EST
And come stand with Captain Metatone and I!


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T&T by yicky yacky (4.00 / 3) #3 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 12:51:06 AM EST

Why everyone still seems to think Trinidad and Tobago will be a walkover after they held off Sweden is beyond me.

Because:

I actually think England will beat them 3-0 / 4-1-ish. I watched the Wales game. It's not certain, by any means, but the reasoning isn't entirely unsound.


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
I actually didn't see the match by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #4 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 12:56:44 AM EST
Taped it but haven't had time, what with all the other matches. I've been going on what I've read and been told.

I think we'll win as well, but it's not a given by any means. We were fucking awful on Saturday.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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Good lad! by Breaker (4.00 / 3) #7 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 01:19:30 AM EST
Glad to see someone else is still on the Good Ship Mindless Optimism.

Also the game will be played at 6pm and the temperature will be about 21 degrees, so even if the ref does deny our lads water it won't be so hard on them. 

3-1 I think, Owen looked sharp in the first half against Paraguay and I'm expecting him to score first.  Becks to bag one from a dead ball, and Fat Frank to smash one of those thunderballs into the onion bag.  T&T might get lucky on the break.


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Was I the only person by idiot boy (2.00 / 0) #19 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:12:40 AM EST
who thought Owen scored the own-goal. It was probably the fact that the director immediately switched to the Owen-Cam after the goal but either way...

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Couldn't see it myself by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #25 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 04:38:07 AM EST
I think Beckham should have got credit, though it's hard to tell if it would have gone in.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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Found it interesting to read by R Mutt (4.00 / 3) #5 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 01:05:25 AM EST
The Deutsche Welle match report:
While Paraguay soldiered gamely on to find the equalizer, England effectively killed off the game. Joe Cole, one of the few players to show any flair in the wasteland the game had become in the second half, made way for the defensively-minded Owen Hargreaves. If Eriksson had unveiled a banner saying "closed for business" the message would have been just as clear.
Didn't bother watching it myself, though I listened to part of the Radio 5 commentary.

I don't really see a lot of "inconsistency" or difference from the last time I took an interest though. As far as I can see, England are a sluggish, defensive team who rely on set-pieces and opportunistic long balls to score; and have been that way for a long time.

We used to be like that by nebbish (4.00 / 3) #6 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 01:15:10 AM EST
But we've become more of an energetic, attacking side over the last few years IMHO. Unfortunately we can't manage this without Owen and Rooney, and also struggle to do it in the heat. Saturday was a return to the bad old days.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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I've heard that interpretation by yicky yacky (4.00 / 3) #9 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 01:26:06 AM EST

I read an in-depth epic poem in the IHT of the England vs. Portugal quarter-final of the last Euros. It considered the match to be the greatest of the championship and pitched it as a titanic battle between the most impenetrable defence and the most liquid attack, when most of us UKies were seeing a complete inability to maintain control long enough to get up the field.

There's a strange perceptual dissonance. Many of us see premiership players being prevented from playing premiership-style football, whereas many people from overseas see England as competently shutting-up-shop in their usual professional manner.


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
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Trinidad and Tobago? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 02:34:16 AM EST
Half their side play in the Scotlandish leagues.  Do I need to elaborate?  Don't make me overdose on self loathing this early in the day.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
Two reasons to support them then by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 02:38:24 AM EST
Alongside the rather pathetic one-way hatred of England.

I suppose you can say that in a roundabout way, Scotland drew against Sweden by proxy. What a claim!

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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You seem to have mistaken me for Alex Salmond by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #14 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 02:55:03 AM EST
  • Clarification the First: I don't "support" soccerball teams, and I pity anyone who does.
  • Clarification the Second:  It wasn't a reason to support them, it was a reason to write them off, as per the question posed.
  • Clarification the Third:  I don't hate Engerland.  You provide some absolutely top drawer self deluded echoes-of-Empire antics.


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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Echos? ECHOS? by idiot boy (4.00 / 1) #18 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:10:38 AM EST
It never ceases to amaze me how you colonials fail to realise that you only have that "parleyament" as an act of divide and rule on our part.

You'll (and all that lovely water) soon be back in the fold begging to fight our wars for us.

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Proves my point, really by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #20 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:17:57 AM EST
If the remaining jewel in your Empire is Jockland, then that's pretty much game over.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Damn by idiot boy (4.00 / 2) #21 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:19:28 AM EST
Rumbled.

Back to taunting the Welsh.

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Don't forget Pitcairn by DullTrev (4.00 / 2) #24 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:31:57 AM EST

Or Montserrat.


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DFJ?
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Isn't by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #16 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:03:34 AM EST

this libellous? It's pretty funny, but still ...


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
Brilliant by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #23 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:27:31 AM EST
Who says the Germans aren't funny? No pissing about there.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

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``five pounds each way on USA'' by lm (4.00 / 1) #17 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:09:49 AM EST
I told you so.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
Yes. Yes you did by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #22 Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:21:44 AM EST
Still, you might beat Italy *snort*

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
What did St Patrick say when he drove the snakes out of Ireland? | 26 comments (26 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback