In fact, I'm hard-pressed to think of someone who just speaks English better than myself (though several Hussites come dangerously close). Perhaps I have the perfect mix of pedantry and nonchalance. Perhaps I just rule. I know when to use instead of and when to use rather than. I know exactly how long each sentence should be. I'm just naturally damn good at it, but I derive no advantage in life from my superiority.
At work, I constantly find myself correcting or improving native speakers' German. Most German speakers have terrible flow, no timing, and poor metaphor - in a word, no feeling. I, however, play the German language like Miles Davis plays the trumpet. I'm consistently better. Perhaps I just rule.
Now, if only I could find some way to get laid.
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