There must be some kind of way out of here
By Breaker (Thu May 04, 2006 at 02:32:09 AM EST) BIG DOG's COCK, Rock, footie, politics (all tags)
Said the joker to the thief
There’s too much confusion
I can’t get no relief

Inside:
LHuSiBeers
Barbie
MFC: an apology
Footie Threatometer: Metatarsal
Oooh bit of politics!

Poll: You voted?

LHUSiBeers was an exclusive affair, we were joined by my mate MCB and some random mate of Pre's.  Everyone was on top form and it was good seeing everyone again.  Met Phage for the first time, for once I was there before he left.  Bastard freezing outside the Anchor though.  Bring on summer and the frippet in short tops.

On the Saturday I ventured into uncharted barbie territory and cooked a whole joint of beef.  The plan was to push the lit coals to the edge of the barbie, plonk the beef into the middle then put the lid back on and leave it for a couple of hours.  My attention to detail was highlighted as the barbie lid was about 1/2" away from making contact with the base; the beef was too big.  So I flattened the joint and all was good.

One thing though; seeing as every time you lift the lid you have to add to the cooking time, it was frustrating checking to see if the coals were still lit or not.  And as I am a compulsive fiddler, simply leaving it be was not an option.  I gave it about 90 minutes total, by which time the meat was cooked about half an inch in.  I finished it in the oven.  The fat was really nice; it had crisped on the barbie and was almost like crackling.  Meat flavour was delicious.  I did some lamb shish kebabs, mediteranean stylee with olive oil, lemon juice, fresh oregano and rosemary.  Damned fine.  And about 1Kg of speciality sausages I bought at Borough market.  I shall experiment with further joints of beef to get my chops down and then try some poussins and lamb joints.

Any of you Husi's out there (points vaguely at Texas) have any tips for the sucessful barbie'ing of whole joints of meat?

Well, despite TPD generously granting me widdling rights over the MFC, on the Bank Holiday Monday I duly plugged in the mess of hardware into my PC and got everything up and running.  The strings on the guitar were sounding a bit flat, so I changed them, mentally noting must get some more strings soon, this is my last packet.  Obviously, it only took ~5 mins into warming up before the E string busted.  The old string I'd already cut up ready to go into the bin.

Bugger.

If this was the dotcom era I'd suggest a website doing emergency guitar and bass string delivery.

Anyway, my apologies for the non-show.

And the FA merrygoround still churns; after the British tabloid press hounded Scolari away from the Engerlandland job it now seems likely that McLaren's in the picture.  Top work, UKian press, hound the present manager who has done a pretty good job in terms of results out, then sabotage the recruitment process for his replacement.  If I was in government I'd be calling all the newspaper editors into my office and having a little chat about the responsibilities of the media in World Cup year.  Then again if I was in this present government I'd be petrified of having that many hacks in the office at one time; someone's bound to be fucking a secretary in one of the rooms somewhere.

Still undecided if Roedererer is the man for the toon job.  His results so far have been pretty good considering.  But I look at his history; he's great at taking someone else's team and getting them to play well, it's when he's given the budget to spend is when relegation looms.  I don't think the FA is going to grant him special dispensation next year, and without having the coaching badges he can't do the job.  Then again, the FA's flip flopping over who'll be the next Engerlandland manager is probably helping toon's cause.

Shrek apparently "might be fit for the World Cup Final".  So, there's the small matter of getting through to that stage first.  Stevie G and Fat Frank had better start ignoring Svensvensven's words of advice and work out some sort of game plan to make the best of their talents.  In the absence of a hold up striker, I'd even consider putting one of them alongside Owen.  Certainly, the Crouchosaurus should be in the team for that twenty minute supershocksub position but he should not be starting regularly.  Ah well, less than a month to go which will finish all this idle speculation.

Poll day today, I posted mine t'other day.  I voted Liberal.  Attn: UKian voting populace; the current government is busted.  Bliar's getting shriller by the day, corruption scandals are still ongoing, ministers are fucking up their jobs and their assitants.  And no one in the cabinet with the decency to resign.  I am actually now looking forward to a Tory government; there's no future in a Labour govenrment at present.  I'd prefer a Liberal government but you can't have everything.  And then in 2012 I shall take the mantle of glorious leader of the Breaker Truth and Honesty Party Party, sweep the elections and bring the good people of UKia a democracy to be proud of.

There must be some kind of way out of here | 30 comments (30 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Footie by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #1 Thu May 04, 2006 at 02:41:53 AM EST
Build a team around Lampard and Gerrard? I'm not going to go into speculation about formations and the minutae of who plays because I don't know enough, but we've got two superb midfielders there and a real paucity of strikers. It'd make sense to play to a strength rather than put someone in Rooney's position and cross our fingers.

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Yeah by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:45:41 AM EST
But 4-5-1 with Owen up front isn't really going to cut it I don't think.

[ Parent ]
Know what you mean... by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #14 Thu May 04, 2006 at 04:04:20 AM EST
Hopefully Sven's manager and we're not because he can think of a better way of doing it. Otherwise I'll gladly take his place *rubs hands and plans spending spree*

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[ Parent ]
barbeque beef by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu May 04, 2006 at 02:51:36 AM EST
Depends on where in USistan you're bbq-ing them.

Recommended: Rub with mix of favorite spices, or marinade, or marinade then rub. The smoke them (at low temp, about 250F°, for several hours. Baste lightly with the sauce while smoking. Yes, it takes awhile. But if beef like that isn't in heaven then I don't want to go.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

We marinate in a zip lock bag by cam (4.00 / 1) #5 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:21:09 AM EST
for at least three hours before bbqing. I like setting up heat gradients in the charcoal griller. Like breaker I constantly fiddle with the meat placement on the grill to ensure a good and thorough cooking. I like keeping the coals piled in a pyramid in the center and have no coals at the edge. That way I can move it round the grill to get the right temperature and cooking rate at the time. The center for sizzle, the edges for deep cooking.
[ Parent ]
Pah ! by Phage (4.00 / 1) #13 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:53:10 AM EST
Deep down you know that if not's scorched to within an inch of it's life over LPG, it's not worth eating....oh, wait...Damn you Rivo Sundays !

[ Parent ]
We had a wood BBQ down south by cam (4.00 / 2) #16 Thu May 04, 2006 at 04:43:39 AM EST
With a slab of metal nicked from the railways. Got that thing hot, and it was a heater for the next month. It was a slaaaaaaaaaaaaab.

The philosophy was; "If you dont end up as burnt as the snags - then you ain't doing it right".

[ Parent ]
Sigged ! by Phage (4.00 / 1) #19 Thu May 04, 2006 at 05:13:56 AM EST
brings back so many Summer memories.

[ Parent ]
Cheers ta by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:46:17 AM EST
I really am at the nuts and bolts stage with this style of barbie'ing; marinades etc come later!

[ Parent ]
Voting by Phage (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu May 04, 2006 at 02:57:22 AM EST
Will vote tonight. Not that it matters a great deal in Kent.
I was halfway home from the beers before I could clench my hands again. Right now though, the frippet out there right now is extraordinary...if I stand up I can just see them out of the window. Mmmmmmmm....

+1 frippet by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #10 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:46:44 AM EST
City's crawling with it as well.  Bless them.

[ Parent ]
Fucking government by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 3) #4 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:07:54 AM EST
They seem to have taken on chav ethics; at least the Tories had the decency to resign.

God, I just put "Tories" and "Decent" in the same sentance. This is all your fault Blair!

Indeed. by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #11 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:47:40 AM EST
And I believe Two Shags was the first to demand that  Major resign when the affair with Currie was uncovered.  "Personal matter" you fucking hypocrite.

[ Parent ]
2012: I vote Breaker. by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 1) #6 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:24:59 AM EST
Footy, my choice would be either to play Carrick as a holding midfielder behind Cole Lampard Gerrard Beckham (without getting into the whole Beckham debate...) and let both Lampard and Gerrard get forward to support Owen OR (and even more controversially...) play Downing or Lennon on the left and play Cole just off of Owen. My only concern with either of these formations is the lack of anyone up front who naturally holds the ball up but lets face it, there isn't anyone.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

Owen needs either pace or a holding man. by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:44:33 AM EST
Alone he's not going to cut it.

Time for Sir Alan Shearer to make a swansong comeback?

[ Parent ]
Perhaps 2 or 3 years ago... by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 1) #12 Thu May 04, 2006 at 03:47:42 AM EST
...I would have started a petition. Possibly we need to do something a bit radical, Bent is reasonable in the air and pretty nippy, I am not convinced hes had enough experience at the right level, but WTF, we are going to have to take a chance on someone...

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]
WIPO: by kwsNI (2.00 / 0) #15 Thu May 04, 2006 at 04:13:13 AM EST
No elections here.

aha! by martingale (2.00 / 0) #18 Thu May 04, 2006 at 05:03:59 AM EST
That's where you are! But you won't be safe for long. The elections'll find you there too.
--
$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]
Big tip... by atreides (2.00 / 0) #17 Thu May 04, 2006 at 04:46:55 AM EST
Fidget less. Trust in the coals. If you have them going well, you really don't have to worry about them going out. Just let it slow cook for as long as you can possibly stand. In fact, you should start things going and then go play Diablo or something and you'll probably be good. :)

How many pounds are these so called "joints" of yours? And I mean weight, not money... If I knew I might be able to give you a better idea of times involved. However I can only give you working estimates. Our master griller is in Belgrade for two more weeks...

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless

Yeah, trust by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #20 Thu May 04, 2006 at 05:22:01 AM EST
Thing is, having never done a top-on barbie before I was anxious to see I wasn't starving them of oxygen.  (And I was).  I think I have a feel for where the inlets should be to let enough air in.

I was cooking 1.2 Kilos of beef and thought it'd probably need about 2 hours.

The thing is, I only have the one barbie and it's about 18" by 12" so I need to get the beef done and off the barbie in order to get everything else going.  I think the half and half method is the way forward.

[ Parent ]
thermometers are a good option. by garlic (4.00 / 1) #21 Thu May 04, 2006 at 05:32:17 AM EST
BBQs are very good at cooking at a very high heat to start with, and gradually cooling down. This works out very well for turkeys because you want to brown them nice and good, and then cook them for another hour or 2 at a cooler temp.

Since you want to let anything that's cooked for more than an hour rest for 15 minutes to 1/2 hour after cooking so that the muscle cells can reabsorb the liquid, that's a great time to put the rest of your items on the grill.

[ Parent ]
Fine advice by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu May 04, 2006 at 05:43:01 AM EST
TYVM.

[ Parent ]
I see... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #23 Thu May 04, 2006 at 05:47:17 AM EST
I forget to mention... Tip: Get a real grill. :P Also consider starting the meat long before anything else. The longer over low heat it goes, the softer and juicier it'll be. try starting it early and then checking on it every so often just to make sure it isn't messed up yet.

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless

[ Parent ]
Bloody hell! by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #24 Thu May 04, 2006 at 05:55:59 AM EST
I can't see CAB going for that one, even if I try to sell it as an art nouveau sculpture during winter storage in the front room!

[ Parent ]
Well, I picked a reasonable one... by atreides (2.00 / 0) #25 Thu May 04, 2006 at 06:42:27 AM EST
It's not like I picked out a real monster or anything... :)

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless

[ Parent ]
Roedoedererer by Metatone (2.00 / 0) #26 Thu May 04, 2006 at 07:11:36 AM EST
Or however you spell it.

Well, on the one hand, you've covered the salient points against.

On the other, he got this current Toon team to defend on occasion! I even saw Bramble make a tackle the other day. And let's face it, your chairman is the one who messes with the transfer budget, so that's not really the issue it might be.

(Of course, it would be if you got hold of a decent manager, but would they put up with the chairman?)

Fair points indeed. by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #27 Thu May 04, 2006 at 07:32:15 AM EST
But I fear that regardless of budget, he's not got the eye to make good buys.  Tactically he's made us a lot more coherent, especially in the defense->midfield transition part of the game.

And yes, the main problem at toon is FFS.

[ Parent ]
Perhaps we could arrange.. by Metatone (2.00 / 0) #28 Thu May 04, 2006 at 07:51:33 AM EST
for FFS to take the entire FA executive out for lunch with the assembled editors of the Engerlandland Press Corps on a special restaurant ship and "accidentally" arrange for it to encounter an iceberg?

[ Parent ]
Hehe by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #29 Thu May 04, 2006 at 08:06:03 AM EST
Who'd write the "Sweet FA!  All execs feared dead!" headline in the press the day after?

[ Parent ]
The BNC... by Metatone (4.00 / 1) #30 Thu May 04, 2006 at 08:11:43 AM EST
Breaker News Corporation would be happy to provide, for a reasonable fee, no doubt...

[ Parent ]
There must be some kind of way out of here | 30 comments (30 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback