Print Story Border Song (Holy Moses)
Diary
By Christopher Robin was Murdered (Wed May 31, 2006 at 06:29:18 AM EST) (all tags)
Hey, musician, leave those kids alone. "I hope he likes spaghetti."


Sex Education

    Robin and Pete have been arguing lately. Apparently, Pete gave Robin a copy of his music CD – a sort of rap/rock fusion dealie he recorded back in the late 90s. The album, if I'm remembering correctly, was titled something like "An Album of Embarrassingly Stupid Shit" and included such obviously family-friendly tracks as "Shitty Group Sex" and "Crack-Crazed Psycho Whore." Why Robin, whose musical tastes run more to the likes of the Goo Goo Dolls and any mall-punk band with numbers in its name, wanted this disc is unknown to me. I still maintain that she and Pete are, on some deep and twisted level, involved in some sort of flirtation only they can understand. My theory is that she takes the disc home, turns the lights down low, pours herself a glass of wine from the box in the fridge, puts Pete on the CD player, and then listens to it while she slowly and sensuously lances The Leg and milks it of the alien ichors that pool there. That rotting vegetal smell is love in the air.

    Regardless of what she might theoretically be doing with it, we do know for a fact that she recently downloaded the thing on to her nephew's iPod. Robin lives with her sister and her sister's ten-year old boy. The boy, perhaps overhearing the dulcet tones of Pete singing about ill-conceived tripartite sexual liaisons while his auntie sapped her leg, developed a taste for Pete's songs and requested Robin download the album. In a remarkable display of technical competence, she got the record onto his iPod and thought no more about it.

    At least, she thought no more about it until her sister wanted to know why her little boy was asking just what a three-way was and what, exactly, would make one declare a three-way shitty.

    Now Robin's, despite being intimately familiar with the contents of the album and despite her being the direct reason it ended up on her nephew's iPod, is blaming Pete for corrupting her nephew.

Movie

    Watched the original Italian Job with May last night.

    May's funny about the whole heist film genre and it has something to do with having an unusual level of sympathy for the rank and file schmucks who, in her words, "have to clean all this up."

    I remember we were watching the film Heist and had to stop it because she got mad at the opening sequence. Thieves come in and break jewel cases, injure innocent employees, and generally make a disaster zone out of a lovely little jewel shop – and we're supposed to want these people to get away?

    In the film last night, it was the wanton destruction of several cars that pissed her off. She imagined the hours spent cleaning up wrecks, the insurance premiums of working class stiffs unlucky enough to happen to get stuck next to these crooks, and so on.

    It is odd. She doesn't feel like the films glorify crime so much as they glorify an unbelievable level of selfish rudeness towards others. And it is that rudeness she finds distasteful.

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Border Song (Holy Moses) | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I never think about that, but I do think of by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 2) #1 Wed May 31, 2006 at 06:41:50 AM EST
something similar. For some reason, it is limited to the police: You know how Our Hero will finally convince the Mayor that the City is in real Danger and so he calls in all the police to set up roadblocks, question the populace and jackboot around? None of those guys are going to catch Mr Evil. It's going to end up being Our Hero that punches him in the face so he falls backwards off the 137th floor. So when we see the scenes of The Troops Being Called Out, all I can think is "You worthless grunt--why don't you wise up? You should complain to your union or something. Go back and finish that English degree or build a deck or something."

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See GMF's The Pyrates by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed May 31, 2006 at 07:14:47 AM EST
Redcoats "popping off their blanks in a desultory fashion" sums it up nicely, I think.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
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GMF? by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed May 31, 2006 at 07:16:36 AM EST
Don't make me sorry I asked.

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George MacDonald Fraser by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed May 31, 2006 at 07:36:42 AM EST
Flashman et al.  Required reading at the Academy.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Never 'eard of 'im by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 1) #11 Wed May 31, 2006 at 07:49:20 AM EST
But the genteel womenfolk intrigue me, if you will excuse me for just 2 moments.

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Can such barbarism yet exist? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed May 31, 2006 at 08:07:23 AM EST
Required. Reading.  You'll thank me later.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Don't worry, it's on my list by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed May 31, 2006 at 08:11:24 AM EST
It'll be hidden underneath my mattress by the weekend.

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What about behind the newly finished walls by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed May 31, 2006 at 08:22:24 AM EST
in the basement, mom will never look there.


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After you've washed your hands . . . by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed May 31, 2006 at 08:35:33 AM EST
Pick up one or two of the books. Mr. Borg's right on this one. The Flashman books are powerful goodness.

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Heist movie by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed May 31, 2006 at 06:43:03 AM EST
Try Rififi
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Close friendships and a private room can offer most of the things love does.
I'll check it out. n/t by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed May 31, 2006 at 06:54:54 AM EST


[ Parent ]
Or by Scrymarch (2.00 / 0) #17 Wed May 31, 2006 at 02:26:01 PM EST
Le Cercle Rouge

The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo

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Somehow, I suddenly really like May. by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed May 31, 2006 at 06:46:12 AM EST
"...slowly and sensuously lances The Leg and milks it of the alien ichors that pool there." "...while his auntie sapped her leg..." Are you referring to what I think you're referring to? That sounds un-Robin like.

IAWTP by lb008d (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed May 31, 2006 at 07:01:04 AM EST
I like the way May thinks.

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vegetal by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed May 31, 2006 at 07:00:11 AM EST
I'd use that to describe our compost heap, at times.. But not sure I'd apply that to the lymphatic fluid and other putrescence that would come from such a lancing.

Depends on what's growing, no? by lm (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed May 31, 2006 at 07:05:26 AM EST
I think the implication is that plants are growing in the ichor.

Heh. That reminds me. I need to go get lunch.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
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The plant smell. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #16 Wed May 31, 2006 at 08:40:34 AM EST
You might be right, but it will be a cold day in Hell before I get close enough to any breach of The Leg to actually confirm or deny the presence of a compost-like scent.

I'm content to leave it a fine example of hyperbole, and, until such time as MNS visits Connecticut, I think we'll all just have to be satisfied with that.

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Robin's nephew situation by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #18 Thu Jun 01, 2006 at 02:12:09 AM EST
I suggest Pete just shrugs his shoulders.

Wow, May sounds like a very intelligent and moral person. Spot on.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

Pete Can't. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #19 Thu Jun 01, 2006 at 04:21:03 AM EST
Both Pete and Robin are sort of chronically attention starved people. Together, they sort of enter into this endless feedback loop of attention giving and getting that is too powerful a draw for either of them to give up.

[ Parent ]
Border Song (Holy Moses) | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback