Robin and Pete have been arguing lately. Apparently, Pete gave Robin a copy of his music CD – a sort of rap/rock fusion dealie he recorded back in the late 90s. The album, if I'm remembering correctly, was titled something like "An Album of Embarrassingly Stupid Shit" and included such obviously family-friendly tracks as "Shitty Group Sex" and "Crack-Crazed Psycho Whore." Why Robin, whose musical tastes run more to the likes of the Goo Goo Dolls and any mall-punk band with numbers in its name, wanted this disc is unknown to me. I still maintain that she and Pete are, on some deep and twisted level, involved in some sort of flirtation only they can understand. My theory is that she takes the disc home, turns the lights down low, pours herself a glass of wine from the box in the fridge, puts Pete on the CD player, and then listens to it while she slowly and sensuously lances The Leg and milks it of the alien ichors that pool there. That rotting vegetal smell is love in the air.
Regardless of what she might theoretically be doing with it, we do know for a fact that she recently downloaded the thing on to her nephew's iPod. Robin lives with her sister and her sister's ten-year old boy. The boy, perhaps overhearing the dulcet tones of Pete singing about ill-conceived tripartite sexual liaisons while his auntie sapped her leg, developed a taste for Pete's songs and requested Robin download the album. In a remarkable display of technical competence, she got the record onto his iPod and thought no more about it.
At least, she thought no more about it until her sister wanted to know why her little boy was asking just what a three-way was and what, exactly, would make one declare a three-way shitty.
Now Robin's, despite being intimately familiar with the contents of the album and despite her being the direct reason it ended up on her nephew's iPod, is blaming Pete for corrupting her nephew.
Watched the original Italian Job with May last night.
May's funny about the whole heist film genre and it has something to do with having an unusual level of sympathy for the rank and file schmucks who, in her words, "have to clean all this up."
I remember we were watching the film Heist and had to stop it because she got mad at the opening sequence. Thieves come in and break jewel cases, injure innocent employees, and generally make a disaster zone out of a lovely little jewel shop – and we're supposed to want these people to get away?
In the film last night, it was the wanton destruction of several cars that pissed her off. She imagined the hours spent cleaning up wrecks, the insurance premiums of working class stiffs unlucky enough to happen to get stuck next to these crooks, and so on.
It is odd. She doesn't feel like the films glorify crime so much as they glorify an unbelievable level of selfish rudeness towards others. And it is that rudeness she finds distasteful.
|< You don't even know how good looking you are! | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >|