1. Stare at wristwatch. Try to remember what you learnt about the big and small hands at primary school.
2. Jab finger at random number on schedule.
3. Forget what current time is (determined at step 1). Check watch again.
4. Allow concept to slowly form in your benighted fucking mind that current time is nowhere near selected schedule entry.
5. Move finger along line, repeating step 4 at each entry.
6. Allow fact to dawn upon you that you are moving finger in wrong direction. Reverse.
7. After several tries, forget what current time is. Check watch.
8. Move finger past boundary between weekday and weekend schedules. Fail to notice anything amiss.
9. Furrow brow throughout.
10. Notice bus arriving, rendering endeavour moot. Embark, taking care to obstruct as many people as possible.
There, that was easy, wasn't it? If you got all the steps right, you can probably apply for Zurich citizenship.
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