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By gazbo (Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:05:37 AM EST) Girls Aloud, Girls which are literally vocal, Non-mute females (all tags)
Going to see the mighty Girls Aloud in a mere matter of hours.  So much to do (i.e. remember to fill a hip-flask).

Inside:  Other stuff!



Well it's been 6 months since I compulsively clicked on Ticketmaster and bought my tickets, and now it's definitely feeling worth it:

mY seKret pLAn

The only difficulty will be throwing the loop through the shield of angels, birds and cute woodland creatures that naturally flock around her wherever she goes.

Work:

Doing a contracting "gig" at the moment.  Company desperately needed a good PHP developer, and through recruitment discovered that the intersection between the sets "good" and "PHP developer" was very tiny indeed.

Had a very rare crisis of confidence on my first day - feared that the system would be too big to get my head around and that I'd be out of my depth.

Fortunately, after the first half-day of my allotted 3-day "get to know the codebase" period, I was already itching to start work.  My most numerically impressive feat so-far was identifying a (admittedly complex) admin page that even on the tiny demo system was taking 1200 DB queries to run(!) and would scale roughly linearly to the live system which would hold approximately 1000 times as much data(!!).

One day of Gaz magic later and it now runs in a constant 10 queries on all data sets, plus I fixed a couple of bugs that no-one had spotted yet that would have sooner-or-later come up on the live site.

I rock.

But this does mean that I generally can't be on HuSi so much while I'm over there.

Music:

Not done any since the MFC.  This is very lax of me, especially given that my MFC wasn't the pop extravaganza that I want to be practising.  I shall have to rectify this.

Curry night:

Looking forward to it.  Will Hulver be drinking at all?

< Mental wounds not healing | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
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Constant 10 queries by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:18:52 AM EST
but do they take O log N times longer to run? It seems obvious when you say it, but a couple improvements I myopically put in recently improved the actual speed with a big hit to the apparent speed, since there are now long lags as my OMGCLEVAR queries take a moment (or more, ahem) to run.

---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
A fair question by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:49:54 AM EST
On a larger data-set, it used to take ~20 seconds to generate the page.  It now takes ~1.

The queries I'm using now are actually very simple - they're pretty much all single-table queries (and those that aren't would have joined the same tables in the old system too), so any time taken is just to return potentially lots of rows.  Basically I just moved all the logic into two steps:

  1. Get all data
  2. Process and filter the data in PHP using immense cleverness
instead of the previous system, where the loops and queries were all intertwined.

Step 2 is O(n), by the way.  And I guess that technically the old algorithm was O(n2) (or maybe O(n log n) - can't be bothered to work it out.  Either way, it's not going to scale as well).


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Obviously a fair question. by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #14 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:10:15 AM EST
Whatever happened to PhysicsGenius? Is there any reason he didn't turn up here?

I like your description, but ideally it would use the word refactor. Is there any way you can fix that for me. I get off on gang of four stuff.

[ Parent ]
Stuff by hulver (4.00 / 2) #2 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:22:33 AM EST
PHP

So they settled for you then :)

Girls Aloud

Nicola was only sexy when she was Ginger. What has she done to her hair? Or has it changed back again, in which case I wish you luck!

Curry night

All being well I won't be drinking.

I've just finished off one of my practise runs for Lunch. Very yummy, although I need to get some fresher spices, mine were a bit old. I suppose keeping them on a shelf above the radiator in glass jars doesn't do much for the longevity though.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

She's pretty much The Ginge again by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:38:51 AM EST
Nicola and some other unknowns

Not the best picture to see hair colour, but you can see it's definitely gingesque.  The reason I chose that photo is:

Has a pair of glasses ever suited anyone better than those glasses suit her?

No.  No, I don't think they have.


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Nicola? by DullTrev (4.00 / 3) #6 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:42:15 AM EST

Surely Cheryl is the perfect woman! Apart from her violent and/or racist tendencies, obviously.


--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Yeah by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:06:35 AM EST
She looks fantastic there

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Lordy loo.. by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:00:35 AM EST
That's Girls Aloud???

Who is the hotty to the left of the bird with the glasses? She's one fine lookin momma!

You know, I must confess, I entered this diary with the intention of poking some good natured fun at you for going to see a band (do they play instruments?) called Girls Aloud, but now after gazing upon them, well, I can't say I blame you.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
That would be Cheryl by gazbo (4.00 / 2) #21 Tue May 23, 2006 at 05:38:48 AM EST
Who is the object of DullTrev and Nebbish's affection.  She's pretty much awesome, especially seeing as she got arrested after getting into a fight with a bathroom attendant over a lollipop.

A LOLLIPOP!


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Lordy loo! by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 3) #26 Tue May 23, 2006 at 06:12:32 AM EST
You know, I find that whole story strangely erotic. Perhaps because it's only two degrees removed from a hot prison lesbian sex fantasy.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Not that I'm an ignoramus, by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #27 Tue May 23, 2006 at 06:20:12 AM EST
but I couldn't match the one to the left of the bloke with anyone from their other publicity photos. Who's she? Apart from the prettiest one.

[ Parent ]
Kimberly Walsh by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #28 Tue May 23, 2006 at 06:25:48 AM EST
Though the angle and bad lighting make her look quite a bit different in that shot.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Also, by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #22 Tue May 23, 2006 at 05:46:44 AM EST
No, they don't play instruments.  They will be touring with a live band, however, rather than the lame-ass miming to a backing track.  Also, their songs are written by the awesome Xenomania who have produced amazing songs for loads of bands that...you've probably never heard of.

Further: I would be remiss to not clarify that the man in that picture is not, in fact, a member of the band.  And that there are (in fact) five girls in the band, but one is 99% hidden behind Sarah (the blondie).


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
As by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #3 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:24:44 AM EST

an autonomous, fully self-actualized, own-destiny-mastering, renaissance individual with a complete grasp of cognition, political and corporate power structures, rationality and human nature, you cannot possibly hope to drag me into a false consciousness-originated and pseudo-zeitgeisty discussion of corporation-manufactured dizzy bints masquerading as "artists".

Nicola???!!


----
Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
But.... by gazbo (4.00 / 2) #5 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:40:49 AM EST
THE GLASSES!

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Unfortunately by yicky yacky (4.00 / 5) #7 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:46:53 AM EST

that lock of hair running down her right chin is just too reminiscent of a sideburn.


----
Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]
Seriously creeped out now by Rogerborg (4.00 / 4) #9 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:57:49 AM EST
If you want to watch vacant eyed bimbos gyrating and miming to tunes written by PopBot #7, then why not take a CD to a lapdancing club?

Also, please to be confirming that you'll be filling the flask before you go in.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

+1 FP by ammoniacal (4.00 / 5) #10 Tue May 23, 2006 at 03:58:58 AM EST
I'm a sucker for crudely-drawn maps.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Top poll by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:05:38 AM EST
It's Nadine for me (who I used to refer to as "the fit Irish one with the squint"), though to be honest Cheryl or indeed any of the others would do.

Never really been one for live music but I could make exceptions for Girls Aloud, and I bet it's a good show.

Have fun.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

MFC by cam (4.00 / 2) #15 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:16:24 AM EST
Three is consensus (me, TPD and now you) that without an MFC nothing gets done. So ..... Thrusty!

Time to set the goals for the next MFC.

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

iawtp by ana (4.00 / 2) #17 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:25:37 AM EST
Got some sheet-music in the mail yesterday that I ordered. And of course there's that unfinished Tom Waits cover, and the SuperHappification of mns, and... And, well, one of the choirs I'm in has let out for the summer, so I need more music in my life.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

[ Parent ]
Hah... by Metatone (4.00 / 4) #16 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:23:33 AM EST
I saw the GQ magazine cover and expected you'd be posting about the ginger one sooner or later...

Try not to pick up too many dangerously under-aged young fan-ettes on your way back from the concert Gaz.

Plan appears fool proof by TPD (4.00 / 1) #18 Tue May 23, 2006 at 04:54:03 AM EST
good luck sir!

why sit, when you can sit and swivel with The Ab-SwivellerTM
I cannot let you do this. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #19 Tue May 23, 2006 at 05:04:24 AM EST
Mr Zbo, I will have to report you to the authorities. You will hereby be forced to go to every date in the tour. See how you feel then.

[ Parent ]
So, ah, by sasquatchan (4.00 / 3) #20 Tue May 23, 2006 at 05:38:36 AM EST
how many times did you see their predecessors, the spice girls ? hmmm ?

(quite cute, but still a put-on)

Dodgy music connection. by Evil Cloaked User (4.00 / 2) #23 Tue May 23, 2006 at 05:59:20 AM EST
Was at a party a while back. The girl organising it had asked me to bring my MP3 player to hook up to there speakers. I came downstairs from the bathroom at one point and pretty much the entire kitchen turned on mass and demanded "What the hell are 'Destiny's Child' doing on your walkman!?!?!"

"What? I like them."

Apparently I don't have the look.

Evil, can you handle this? by gazbo (4.00 / 1) #24 Tue May 23, 2006 at 06:03:15 AM EST
Cloaked, can you handle this?
User, can you handle this?

Because after studying the situation, I've come to a conclusion which is that I don't think you can handle this.

WOOOOOOO!


I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Dirty little secrets. by Evil Cloaked User (4.00 / 2) #25 Tue May 23, 2006 at 06:09:16 AM EST
My brother had an album by a dodgy (though less so) band and almost renamed the folder to NIN, lest anyone should see. I just decided to out myself instead. It seemed more honest.

[ Parent ]
Your fundamental problem, Sir, by komet (4.00 / 3) #29 Tue May 23, 2006 at 07:43:10 AM EST
is that you are using a two-dimensional map for planning, when in fact you have all three dimensions at your disposal to get your way with Nicola.

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
heh, why bring PHP into the analysis by lm (4.00 / 1) #30 Tue May 23, 2006 at 11:16:08 AM EST
Is not the intersection between the sets "good" and "developer" itself very tiny? Sturgeon's Law, after all, applies to software developers.

My only question is whether or not a friend of mine was correct is asserting that Sturgeon's Law should be applied recursively.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
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