Print Story There's trouble on the home front
Photos
By webwench (Tue May 02, 2006 at 01:28:10 PM EST) (all tags)
I have an issue at home... an issue with a little pecker and a big hole.

Two holes, actually.



What is this?

Oh, goddamnit, it's a big hole in my cheap-ass siding.

Thanks to these annoying little peckers...

...and no thanks to the resident house guardians.

There's a smaller hole on the backside, too, also suffering adverse pecker effects

< so boring. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
There's trouble on the home front | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
hm. by rmg (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue May 02, 2006 at 01:32:14 PM EST
well, you're kinda creepy too.




[t]rolling retards conversation, period.
WIPO: Yes by FlightTest (4.00 / 3) #2 Tue May 02, 2006 at 02:04:59 PM EST

Not obfuscated



That's about 12 feet off the ground? by ammoniacal (3.50 / 6) #3 Tue May 02, 2006 at 02:30:13 PM EST
You have very high expectations for your pussy.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

I'm counting on indimidation value by webwench (4.00 / 2) #11 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:31:17 PM EST
You'd think the hissing and menacing looks would be enough to keep them away. Not to mention the big pointy teeth.


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
Big pointy teeth on your pussy? Ewww, never mind. by greyrat (3.20 / 5) #14 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:35:10 PM EST


[ Parent ]
Unexpectedly Brave Animals XVII: The Reckoning by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #15 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:37:08 PM EST
Nature's own Sit-Com.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
I don't want to be pedantic, by calla (4.00 / 3) #21 Tue May 02, 2006 at 04:54:38 PM EST
but 'pussy' should be plural.

You shouldn't forget that our webby is teh crazy catlady.


[ Parent ]
Plural? Woah. Just woah. by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #22 Tue May 02, 2006 at 05:34:49 PM EST
Zero away, DU.

[ Parent ]
Here's the question by jimgon (4.00 / 4) #4 Tue May 02, 2006 at 02:44:01 PM EST
Why's this pecker interested in poking into your holes?




---------------
Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
Good question by webwench (4.00 / 3) #13 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:34:08 PM EST
I guess I've left myself wide open here with this aging, spongy siding.


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
Heh heh heh. by greyrat (3.00 / 4) #5 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:15:59 PM EST
Come over here for a nice hot 69 baby.

$69 a board? by webwench (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:18:21 PM EST
What is that, union wages? Pff.


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
1. And I 'nail' those by greyrat (2.66 / 3) #7 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:27:07 PM EST
broadsboards constantly with my tongue.
  1. Bring your 'boards' I'm ready to hammer them.
  2. I've got your 'union' right here.
  3. Pff. Hmm. Is that how you'll finish fellatating(interesting, not in spellcheck) me? I'd prefer a sloppy kiss.
  4. ...


[ Parent ]
Now that you're all overt and stuff by webwench (4.00 / 2) #9 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:28:23 PM EST
you're even creeeeepier.


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
I give you what you want baby! by greyrat (3.00 / 3) #12 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:31:29 PM EST
Even through your own denials. Just remember, I AM creepy!
BUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!three!

[ Parent ]
That's a pretty big pecker hole you've got there by debacle (4.00 / 5) #8 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:27:41 PM EST
You sure you don't have more than one pecker visiting it regularly?

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

Could be by webwench (4.00 / 2) #10 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:30:07 PM EST
My house is quite the all-you-can-eat buffet. For woodpeckers, you understand.

For my next house, I'm going hardiplank. Let the little creatures bang their beaks into that.


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
hardiplank? by moonvine (2.00 / 0) #16 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:49:09 PM EST
Not a brick house fan, eh?

[ Parent ]
On a serious note: by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue May 02, 2006 at 04:01:39 PM EST
We just resided with Hardi plank last summer. Awesome stuff. The wasps keep bouncing off it. Just make sure you put soffit board up too.

[ Parent ]
Australia thanks you by Phage (2.00 / 0) #27 Wed May 03, 2006 at 12:05:22 AM EST
It's exports of building products that keeps the economoy afloat.
Well, that and the Uranium...

[ Parent ]
Good ol' corrupt boards by cam (2.00 / 0) #33 Wed May 03, 2006 at 03:20:13 AM EST
- building boards that is. btw the brakes on my car are stamped with "Made in Australia".

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
No no no! They've cleaned up their act! by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #35 Wed May 03, 2006 at 10:25:37 AM EST
Mended their ways! Become truthful and forthright in every way!

Honest!

[ Parent ]
You are only using these poor peckers by calla (4.00 / 4) #17 Tue May 02, 2006 at 03:53:22 PM EST
for your own selfish reasons.

Namely - diverting our attention from the pecker inside your house.


ha ha by webwench (4.00 / 2) #19 Tue May 02, 2006 at 04:49:57 PM EST
Oh, but, whatever could you mean? :)


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
probably looking for centipedes by Greener (4.00 / 10) #20 Tue May 02, 2006 at 04:50:18 PM EST


You need to get some snakes by MartiniPhilosopher (2.00 / 0) #23 Tue May 02, 2006 at 06:15:47 PM EST
We had this problem for years at my parent's old house. There is nothing quite like being woken up by a cat sized Flicker attempting to take down your corner of the house at dawn. They tried the rubber snake approach, but the owls thought those looked good enough to eat.

Got any Hooters in the neighborhood you'd have to worry about?

Whenever I hear one of those aforementioned douche bags pontificate about how dangerous [...] videogames are I get a little stabby. --Wil Wheaton.

Two words: by Canthros (2.00 / 0) #24 Tue May 02, 2006 at 08:17:34 PM EST
Vinyl siding.

(Sorry, eternal straight man.)

Although, if you've never heard it, there's something perversely amusing about the racket caused when the woodpecker decides to look for bugs in your aluminum downspouts. Well. It would have been amusing if it hadn't been on a Saturday morning.

--
I'm not here, man.


All I can hear is a down east accent by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #36 Wed May 03, 2006 at 04:56:12 PM EST
I cannot say or see the words vinyl siding without hearing a very real Down East Maine accent (ala Bert and I).  Wot yeuw need is voin'l soidin'.

It's a long story...

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

[ Parent ]
Can't you trap the pecker? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #25 Tue May 02, 2006 at 09:41:05 PM EST
Then bite its head off.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
That's a geek trick! I'm sure she's above that. by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #30 Wed May 03, 2006 at 02:58:53 AM EST


[ Parent ]
Hahahahahahahaha by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 1) #26 Tue May 02, 2006 at 10:27:16 PM EST
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, ha, ha ha, hah ha hah ha ha ha &c: you're a woman!



Welcome to HuSi by webwench (4.00 / 1) #32 Wed May 03, 2006 at 03:10:05 AM EST
I hope you enjoy your stay!


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
Personally by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #28 Wed May 03, 2006 at 01:22:01 AM EST
I think an infestation of woodpeckers would be pretty cool.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

WIPO, by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #29 Wed May 03, 2006 at 01:52:52 AM EST
exactly what I expected.

Apart from the fact that I thought it was trees, what with houses being made of durable materials here, so I got confused.

Of course, they'll only be making holes if there's stuff to feed them inside the wood, like larvae, so that may need to be thought about.

Oh shi by webwench (2.00 / 0) #31 Wed May 03, 2006 at 03:09:37 AM EST
That thought hadn't even occurred to me, as I thought he was making himself a house :(


Getting more attention than you since 1998.

[ Parent ]
Oh wait. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #34 Wed May 03, 2006 at 03:22:03 AM EST
It appears that I'm wrong.
In fact, we have not heard of any cases in which the cause of woodpecker damage to a house was an insect infestation.

Hopefully that'll help a bit. Bad luck.

[ Parent ]
There's trouble on the home front | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback