Print Story You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
The B.A.D.TM

Cleaning fish since 1973...



  • Hail Today!! That is to say, we're supposed to get hail today. Of course this is apropos of nothing.
  • I'm going to a wedding this weekend for a former co-worker bloke and as such I was searching for a card for them. You know, you're supposed to cram a card in with the gift you give them and whatnot. The problem with the cards I found was that they were all just sorta mushy and corny and whatnot. I mean, that's all well and good, but it's just so overdone. Then I found one that was for Jewish people, complete with all these Jewish specific slogans, and I almost bought it. Why, well, because they're not Jewish, and I thought it would be a real hoot when they opened it up and started to read it and then tried to figure out what the hell it was supposed to mean. You know, I imagine them getting this odd "does Bob think we're Jewish" look on their face. But I didn't, although I still think it would have been a real hoot, instead I'm going to just get them a standard corny type card I guess.
  • Mary Cheney is on NPR right now, pimping her book. Bah. She's going on and on about what a great guy her dad is and how much he cares about his grandkids and etc etc etc. Well duh, even Hitler would have loved his grandkids if he had some, which he didn't, cause he had that minor problem with his nuts, or nut, to be more precise. Which is to say he only had one nut. Hitler that is, not Cheney, I don't know if Cheney has both his nuts or not. But that's not my point, I really don't care about the state of Cheney's gonads or gonad, whichever the case may be. Now she's defending the war in iRaq... sheesh, what a shill.
  • For lunch today I'll be having another BBQ chicken stemitch, along with more (new) leftover pasta/tuna salad. Mmmmmmmmm. Quite tasty and fat free baby! I can just feel that evil cholesterol being sucked from my body!! Go back to Satan you artery clogging crap!!
  • I ran into LMTVG in the elevator last night. She hasn't been coming to the gym for the past few months and I thought maybe she moved. Anyways, that was the first time I saw her in civilian clothes and she looked kinda hot. She looked cute at the gym, in a frumpy girl next door kinda way, but she looks way better all dolled up. Anyways, I was like hey what's up and she was like hey what's up. Shame she doesn't look to be a day over 19 years old. Why can't womens in their 30's look like 19 year olds?
  • Yo. Detroit Pistoon fans... BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Snort snort. Well, no worry, I'm sure you'll come back and win the last two... but hey, at least you got the whole Jimmy Hoffa thing going on! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Nothing means more than a hand made card by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu May 18, 2006 at 06:40:55 AM EST
I suggest something on the line of:

Congrats you lucky dog!

If you split up, let me know first,
because I'd love to bone your wife


You know what by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #2 Thu May 18, 2006 at 06:45:40 AM EST
In all seriousness, I wish I'd thought to commission Spacejack or CBB to do a homemade card. That would have been the shit. Damn, too late now.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
How about an e-card? by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu May 18, 2006 at 07:09:33 AM EST
Perfect for the aughts by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu May 18, 2006 at 07:16:44 AM EST
But I'm not sure I want to be the beta tester for that kinda trailblazing behavioiur.

Besides, I need a card to stick on the blender I got them. Otherwise how are they going to know it was from me?

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
You didn't get an e-blender? by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu May 18, 2006 at 07:30:38 AM EST
get the jewish card by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu May 18, 2006 at 07:33:14 AM EST
just for the comedy.

Anyway, Bob, there's been a surprising lack of baseball content in your diaries. Busy watching the NBA playoffs, now that the cavs might be contenders or something ? At least one of the 'canes/sabers will be eliminated in the NHL playoffs. Going to have to root for the west.

NHL??? by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu May 18, 2006 at 08:14:25 AM EST
Did they settle the strike? Or are you trying to trollerize me??

It's early in the baseball season so there isn't much to talk about really. But since the basketball playoffs are upon us, and the "don't have a shot in hell" Cavs are up 3 - 2 against the lousy rotten smelly Pistoons, well, it seemed appropriate to lob some smack out there.

I'm not sure the Jewish card would have been amusing to anyone but me or I would have gone with it.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
attention cleveburgh by alprazolam (4.00 / 1) #8 Thu May 18, 2006 at 08:19:43 AM EST
please to be dropping dead.  thank you.

It isn't over yet by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu May 18, 2006 at 09:17:37 AM EST
I'm still fully confident in our ability to choke, like a drunken schoolgirl at the prom, and lose the last two.

But, if, by some act of God, we do manage to win the series, well, wooooo, it would sure suck to be a Piston fan. To lose to the lowly sucky Cavaliers, I mean, boy, I can't imagine the shame.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Well by ks1178 (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu May 18, 2006 at 11:04:50 AM EST
We might have been let down by the Red Wings this season, and possibly the Pistons as well, but I'm sure Tigers will pull through for Detroit and bring us the championship glory we're waiting for.

After all, they do have the best record in the Majors. They also did do a 3 game sweep against the Evil Injuns. So not all will be lost.

[ Parent ]
Props to the Tigres by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu May 18, 2006 at 11:22:29 AM EST
They are much improved this year.

But, that said, the baseball season is a long one, filled with many ups and downs. So, check back with me around August and lets see where they are then.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Bah by ks1178 (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu May 18, 2006 at 11:42:10 AM EST
I have no faith in the Tigers what so ever. So I'll get my gloating out now while they're doing great. I was actually quite shocked when I saw that they had the best record when I went to check to see how many of the games they beat you guys in last week.

Plus even if they do keep this pace up and have the best record (like the Pistons or the Red Wings this season) that still doesn't mean too much.

Maybe I should listen to Georgeha and just put my faith in the Lions.

[ Parent ]
I guess the question would be by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #14 Thu May 18, 2006 at 11:48:06 AM EST
Do you want to get your hopes crushed in the Summer or in the Winter.

I think if I were you I'd pin my hopes on the Tigres and get the heartbreak over-with as soon as possible.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Don't worry, my contacts with the Lions by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu May 18, 2006 at 11:23:36 AM EST
say this is the year, bank on it!


[ Parent ]
lol by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #15 Thu May 18, 2006 at 01:14:03 PM EST
oh those lions.  good job turning them into the laughingstock of the league mr. millen. you fucking oaf.

[ Parent ]
Witness. by ks1178 (2.00 / 0) #16 Fri May 19, 2006 at 05:49:07 PM EST
84-82.

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback