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By MohammedNiyalSayeed (Sun May 14, 2006 at 04:04:28 PM EST) poops, makin' poops (all tags)

She was a San Franciscan, after all.

Bon appetit, Google.



Babba babba Lala Daah Daah Daah

You know what's cool about companies that don't do pee-testing? The fact that when you work for them, you can pee in the friggin' toilet, like Baby Jebus made us to do, rather than in a cup, where you end up getting pee on your own hand, which, while it's your pee and therefore not as traumatic as having other people's pee on your hand (unless you're R. Kelly, of course, but that would have gone without saying had I not just said it), it's still used up blood. There's not much cool about used up blood on your hands. It's actually warm. And if you have it on your hands, you should actually wash them. Twice. Go now, do it. That's gross, dude.

I have been a lamer lame duck than I am now

At least in the sense that, for a company I am leaving in 6 work days, here I am in the office, upgrading a server and installing THE NEW HOTNESS as far as backup solutions goes. WTF? I'm actually enjoying it, too. I think because for once, it doesn't matter if this shit works or not; six days, and it'll be someone else's problem. I'll have brand new problems of my own to deal with.

My Mom Rules

She's a whole lot more awesome than any of your moms. You may not agree, but that's just because you're wrong, and aren't familiar with the awesomeness of my Mom. And to tell the truth, that's your problem. Fact: MY MOM RULES.

Status of Packing

Well, all my books are boxed. And my videogames. And DVDs and shit. And I bought these two gigantor wheeled duffel bags. Wheels! On Duffel Bags! WHO KNEW? I seriously have been missing out by not using wheeled luggage for years. Hello, MIDDLE-AGE!

Also, my computers are all gone. What remains of my collection is as follows:

  • SGI Octane
  • SGI O2
  • Commodore SX-64 Executive Computer
  • Osborne 1
  • NeXT Cube

And that's it. Well, that's the archaic part, at least. There's also the G4 tower server, currently serving up port 80 from a friends' house, enabling me to move cross-country and not have to worry about downtime. AWESOME!

Friday Night is ALRIGHT FOR FIGHTIN!

But you can expect to spend Saturday in a friggin' coma. I went with ${coworker-friend} and ${former-coworker-still-friend} to the Hibernian on Freitag, where I drank 5 Guinness and ate a sheep-pie. They then both went home to their wives, but seeing as how I keep it real, I kept it real by rolling on down to the Red Room (the "tapas" place formerly known as "some other place that is the only place that serves Fernet Branca in Raleigh), only to be informed by the bouncer dude that I couldn't come in because I had running shoes on. I then flexed my economic muscle by giving him twenty dollars as my rebuttal, and I was then sitting at the bar, downing 4 double Fernets in a row.

Still awake and walking, I decided I should go to Jackpot, half-hoping I'd run into my former barista, but no such luck. Instead, I ran into an endless stream of rum and Cokes. Then it was pancake time.

Because, you know, the fucking IHOP is next door. Who could resist? Not me! So I didn't. And then apparently I fell asleep at the table. At least that's what the two uniformed gentlemen were telling me when they asked me to leave.

What kind of a world do we live in when a man can't take a nap in a restaurant? I WAS TIRED, BITCHES! FUCKING NAZIS!

Saturday, I slept til about 8. In the evening.

Today, though? Today I'm all SUNSHINE AND LOADS OF WORDY JISM!

Easiest. DNS. Setup. Evar.

'Cause I just copied the config directory, and it just worked. God Bless Apple.

Two Thoughts on the Hurricane-Ravaged Interior of my Apartment

Thought One: You know, I only have a 100.00 deposit. It's tempting to just leave all that shit, and say goodbye to the hundred dollars that I haven't had in my pocket in four years, anyway. It's not like I'm getting any of that back, anyway, I should go ahead and get my money's worth. Maybe make some poops in the living room. Who knows?

Thought Two: Renters Insurance would be profitable if only there'd be a big-assed house fire. Apparently, though, I can't wish for that too much, as the NAZIS in the GOVERNMENT have SEEN FIT TO MAKE A LAW TO DETER ME FROM SETTING MY STUFF ON FIRE. Goddamn Nazis. BUSHITLAR!

Fuck it, I'm done here. Time to go home.

Oh yeah, I also made a lot of poops yesterday. And even a sizeable chunk today, at the REI bathroom. +1, Immaculate!

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Touched His Junk, Liberally. | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Shocked and disappointed I am by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Sun May 14, 2006 at 04:50:26 PM EST
I figured somewhere in your reading (Field Manuals, Soldier of Fortune. etc) you would have read that male urine is usually sterile, and compared to blood poisoning or gangrene, not a bad way to wash out wounds.


which does not really explain by BlueOregon (4.00 / 1) #4 Sun May 14, 2006 at 05:02:31 PM EST

... why some people like to use it for washing out their mouths, unless we're talking about wounds in the mouth, which are painful and such.

Of course, your post for some reason reminds me of Dune and methods for reclaiming water.

[ Parent ]
That Aronson Dude by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #7 Sun May 14, 2006 at 05:52:07 PM EST

Cleaned his mouth out with urine, after three days of being stuck in that canyon. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it if my life depended on it; I'm just not a fan of urine-touching or urine-drinking. It keeps me out of lakes and pools, but that doesn't mean I can't swim.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
A bar dresscode in NC?!?! by miker2 (4.00 / 1) #2 Sun May 14, 2006 at 04:55:11 PM EST
W.T.F.  They should be glad their clientele are wearing shoes PERIOD.

If you need some SUN love, I have a Sparc 5 pizza box with a blazing fast 85MHz MicroSparc chip in it.


Ah, sociopathy. How warm, how comforting, thy sweet embrace. - MNS
I know, right? by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #8 Sun May 14, 2006 at 05:54:12 PM EST

I have teeth, bar dress code enforcer! MAKE ROOM FOR MY ENTRANCE, FOR I AM A MIGHTY NORTHERNER!

And while I appreciate the offer, I just got rid of one of those beasts. Along with a Sparcstation 1, 3/80, a 4x4 cube of the lunchbox machines, and, well, no more Suns for me until I can pick up a R220 for cheap. And a basement to put it in.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
I'd not execute your plan by lm (4.00 / 1) #3 Sun May 14, 2006 at 05:02:19 PM EST
Odds are real good that your liable for the cost to repair your former abode to the point it was when you moved in four years ago. A measly hundred bucks can be burned up right quick in hiring someone to empty out your castoffs as calling in the biohazard unit to decontaminate biological waste from the floor. And if it goes over the deposit, well, the landlord can come after you for the balance. In most cases, landlords don't because it's a royal pain. But if you get one that just likes to be a dick, suing your ass for various and sundry items might become his or her new hobby.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
Oh, I have no intention of executing by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #6 Sun May 14, 2006 at 05:49:58 PM EST

either of those plans. I just like running through the quasi-legal semi-solutions out loud. It makes me feel better. If anything, I'll end up filling the dumpster a couple times over, and leave the big things next to the dumpster. Just like everybody else here does.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Good old computers by skippy (4.00 / 1) #5 Sun May 14, 2006 at 05:16:40 PM EST
Nice set there, those are all keepers.

Fun gross fact for the day by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #9 Sun May 14, 2006 at 06:07:38 PM EST
Sweat has essentially the same chemical makeup as urine, the primary difference being that it is much more dilute.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Sweat skeeves me out, too. by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #10 Sun May 14, 2006 at 06:32:11 PM EST

Though less so.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
TRS-80? by johnny (4.00 / 1) #11 Sun May 14, 2006 at 07:17:58 PM EST
I would think that, kind of, you know, de rigeur. And Sparcstation? We can all agree, it is to laugh.  Now, say you "Sun386i", and we can be impressed.

Most sincere props to your mother on mother's day.  I won't go into that competition thing, although to be clear let me state that my mom is exceedingly cool also, although now old and aproaching ancient.

I am not going to comment on the drunkeness of Friday night other than to note that what I said for  that cartoon dog Waggy goes also for you! Be careful out there! Country line dancing with a church group is always an option, que non?

She has effectively checked out. She's an un-person of her own making. So it falls to me.--ad hoc (in the hole)

TRS-80s: never my thing. by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon May 15, 2006 at 05:55:18 AM EST

By the time I had to use those beasts, I had already taught myself Assembly on the mighty Commodore Vic=20. Then it was off to Sequent UNIXland, and the lovely green or amber terminals in Math Science basement. Then they put the NeXTlab in. Mmmm, good booting-from-optical-idiocy times....

Props to yer Mom too. Moms, in general, rule.

But church group? Line dancing? I'm guessing they'd not have me. I'll stick to drinking and breakdancing in the parking lot.

Yours in Keeping it Real,
mns


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
I found an OCD ACTION FIGURE and thought of you by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #12 Sun May 14, 2006 at 08:25:11 PM EST
I'll ship it when you get to CHEAPER SHIPPING LAND.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

ALSO, MY BETTER HALF WANTS TO KNOW... by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #13 Sun May 14, 2006 at 08:26:28 PM EST
WHAT HAPPENED TO LMformerB?

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
It always ends in tears by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 3) #16 Mon May 15, 2006 at 05:57:05 AM EST

Except for when it doesn't really end, but you just decide it isn't going to work out, and start seeing less of each other, but still give in to the human frailty of Booty Callin'. Or afternoon hanging out. Or Sunday morning breakfast getting. Basically, one of us was ready to leave NC, and one of us wasn't.

MONK LIFE!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
huh by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #19 Mon May 15, 2006 at 04:46:47 PM EST
didn't see that coming.

--
Blizzard of Death '06
[ Parent ]
Don't hate the playa by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #20 Mon May 15, 2006 at 05:35:49 PM EST

Hate the game, baby.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
honestly by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #21 Mon May 15, 2006 at 06:18:14 PM EST
Did she or you seriously think that a real relationship could be had after the roommate threesome debacle?

--
Blizzard of Death '06
[ Parent ]
Maybe you missed it by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #22 Mon May 15, 2006 at 07:03:39 PM EST

My friggin leitmotif is that it always ends in tears. But you know what? The threesomes were pretty friggin' intense.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Wow, so you wind it up by georgeha (4.00 / 4) #14 Mon May 15, 2006 at 05:24:34 AM EST
and it keeps repeating the same action over and over again?


[ Parent ]
Yes. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #17 Mon May 15, 2006 at 10:40:04 AM EST
It also comes with a handy sanitising moist towelette, for those moments.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
You are behind the times... by dmg (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon May 15, 2006 at 02:37:42 PM EST
The 'celebrity" currently making a big splash with his unconventional sexual preferences is Ricky Martin.
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dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
Touched His Junk, Liberally. | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback