Print Story Hitler Lives
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By nebbish (Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 03:41:16 AM EST) cats, cats that look like hitler (all tags)
After a long time waiting, I finally caught dark, grainy footage of Adolf Hitler sitting in my garden


Look, he's even got the silly side-parting.

I'm surprised by the amount of cats around that look like Hitler. Googling "Cats that look like Hitler" brings up more results than you'd think (three), and according to a friend there actually used to be a website devoted to the phenomenon.

I think there's something sinister going on.

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Hitler Lives | 28 comments (28 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I knew this cat once by blixco (4.00 / 3) #1 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 03:57:36 AM EST
name of Drake.  He used to sit out on the wall that separated my backyard from the desert.  It was a good vantage point for hunting quail, since they'd normally gather in this sort of natural bowl area that was surrounded by high mesquite.  This Drake cat (I knew his name intuitively, though I suppose it could have been Kitty or Buster or Rhymin' Samuel or even something strange like Silly Ass Cat) he looked like a youthful Hitler.  He had black socks, a beige and white coat, and the little mustache thing.

He'd sit there on the wall, and the Great Danes (we had two at the time, plus a hybrid chow / wolf cross) eventually got used to him sitting there.  They'd stare up at him, ears standing up, wagging their tales, and he'd stare at them, and I swear I could hear him speechifying them in that staccato gutteral German that Hitler would use to rouse the gullible.

Eventually the coyotes or age or a stray car from the nearby highway caught up to Drake the Cat, and he stopped coming around.  Or maybe it was today: the backyard tomorrow: the world?  Either way, he was eventually replaced with DAC (Dumb Ass Cat), an orange and white longhair that lived fifteen years of desert life, fighting coyotes, strays, and nazis in a never-ending battle of good vs. evil.  I like to think of DAC as the Airborne Assault Cat that defeated Drake and restored the balance of good to our little ecosystem.  But that's just me bein' sentimental.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

This one meows a lot too by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:16:41 AM EST
There's another cat in the neighbourhood who seriously doesn't like him (Churchill? We call him Deep Throat because of his stupid, throaty meow), whilst my own cat runs a mile when she sees him - a wise reaction to seeing Hitler walking towards you I think.

So although this particular Hitler has a lot to say, he isn't getting very far with it. A sort of Oswald Mosely character.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Hitler in retirement, perhaps? by blixco (4.00 / 3) #3 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:24:41 AM EST
I wonder what he'd call himself while lounging at his hacienda in South America?  Maybe Harvey.  Certainly not Frankling or Winston.  Though Winston has a really nice sort off island vibe to it.

Your HitlerCat is probably a clone of a clone.  He may slur his speech or he may make really inane big lies like "I invented cheese!" or "My father was this rock."  Maybe his wiring got crossed with Ethel Merman and he sings in a high keening wail, pining for the Eagle's Nest, lamenting his karmic turn as a  krazy kat.  Possibly he's a failed experiment in social awareness, much like skinheads.

Sometimes, though, HitlerCat is just a kitty, with a swagger no jauntier than any other kitten of the urban jungle.  Your cat may be judging him the way uppercrust bluebloods look down on chavs and run from them with their expensive Cole Haans slapping uselessly on cobblestone pavement, HitlerChavCat gaining with every mis-step.  Your cat may just be a Fraidy Cat, or may be a lover and not a fighter.

I like to think that HitkerChavCat was planted in your backyard as a sort of Dali-esque statement of the ridiculous nature of symbols and state.  But that's just me being over-analytical.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
I like you cat lies by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 3) #5 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:28:42 AM EST
And demand MORE!

Oh christ am I hungover



[ Parent ]
My cat by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #6 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:34:45 AM EST
Definitely a fraidy cat, and also a snob (Siamese - not that I'm racist).

Maybe HitlerCat was only born that way and just wants to be loved. It must be terrible cross to bare.

I was thinking - if I had a cat like that, there is no way I would be able to call it anything but Hitler. I would come across as a neo-Nazi idiot in the name of humour.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Ah... by blixco (4.00 / 3) #12 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:03:56 AM EST
you have a Siamese, one of those talkative kung-fu kitties.  They're inscrutable, I hear.

HitlerCat was just born (or created in a laboratory) that way, but I doubt he just wants to be loved.  Few cats (if any) just want to be loved, and HitlerChavCat has a look in his eye that suggests cold, calculated conniving.  He has a look whihc suggests a certain je ne sais quoi.  His fashion sense is only outmatched by his sense of self; he is in tune with his feral catness.

No, this is no lost cub, no starving halfling to be fed and nurtured into a ferocious mom-eating lion.  No, this is a cat who knows his catness, who is one with his catness, who enjoys his unlimited freedom to just be HitlerCat and roam the earth as such.

His father, keep in mind, invented cheese.  That leaves him with a largess undefineable by humans, and gives him a freedom to just Be Hitler.

Of course he may be embarassed by the displays of wanton facism that surrender themselves to his booted paws.  He may be an unwitting victim of his karmic debts.

Maybe he's a romantic at heart, yearning for the sunny summer climes of the Grecian coast.  He'll be conquering....er...vacationing there soon.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
You made me spit my coffee [nt] by idiot boy (4.00 / 1) #23 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 06:18:41 AM EST


[ Parent ]
VS2FP by yicky yacky (4.00 / 4) #4 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:25:52 AM EST

I once saw a cat that looked like Pinochet, but have to confess that it might, actually, have been Pinochet.


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
Pinochet is quite cat like by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:37:40 AM EST
I suppose if viewed from a distance with a cat in the foreground it would be an easy mistake to make.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
You should check out by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #8 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:51:40 AM EST

REC's diary; the cat there looks dictatorial in his own right.


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]
Churchill by nebbish (4.00 / 3) #9 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:53:06 AM EST
In fact, I have never seen a cat that looks so much like Churchill.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
I thought that by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #10 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 04:56:15 AM EST

but was then getting a Kim Jong Il / King Gyanendra kind of vibe.


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]
dictatorial schmictatorial by cam (4.00 / 4) #13 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:04:30 AM EST

Trapper is the cat for democracy!

democracy

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
Viva la Three-Legged Democracy! by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 2) #15 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:08:24 AM EST

And why do you insist on continually misspelling Tripod's name?


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Rubbish! by yicky yacky (4.00 / 3) #18 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:09:28 AM EST

He's reaching around to his back pocket to pull out a blade, the little thug.

[NOTE: I may well have used that joke before in conjunction with this picture; however, if you get to re-hash the photo, I get to re-hash the gag.]


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]
Fortunately by cam (4.00 / 2) #21 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:29:32 AM EST
for commie pinko enemies of democracy such as yourself; trapper is here to save you from your own negative passions and ignorance. He will keep democracy safe for all lovers of capitalism, god and wal-mart.

vive le democracy

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
What a lovely cat by nebbish (4.00 / 3) #19 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:15:53 AM EST
It has the wise, warm eyes of a believer in what is just and fair. I would like to see it become Leader of Cats.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Trapper by blixco (4.00 / 1) #20 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:18:46 AM EST
stands for freedom.  Trapper is a cat with a story, a cat with personality, a cat with marketing appeal to a jaded North American public.  Trapper has a campaign manager named Becky who tells of his heroism in the great war.

Tears and patriotic music always follow the story of how he lost his leg fighting VC MiGs over north Vietnam.

Trapper may soon be president.  His IQ is certainly higher than the current choice.  And he'd probably not be influenced by money.  But God help us if someone shows up with anchovies or catnip.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
His courage knows no bounds by cam (4.00 / 4) #22 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:34:44 AM EST
he volunteered for a tour doing the dangerous work of patrolling in Viet-Cong tunnels!

war hero

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
Wow. by blixco (4.00 / 2) #16 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:08:29 AM EST
If there was ever a Cat Destined To Rule All the Asias, I'd be surprised.  That cat is a fat ball of catty goodness.  That cat is a fat bag of muscled dict-cat-or.  That fat cat is a fat cat of fatness.

Or maybe he's just fluffy.  And not the grue.

That cat is not to be trifled with, I can tell.  Cats like that, they own things.  He probably has property, and not near Swindon.  That cat has a bowler somewhere, and henchmen.  Probably a closet full of ninja kitties, all of them trained in the deadly art of Dao.  That cat's cool enough to handle a bad cliche like Meow Tse Tung.

That cat rocks my socks.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Er... by blixco (4.00 / 1) #17 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:09:15 AM EST
...Cat More Destined to Rule All the Asias.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Happens to me all the time by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 3) #14 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:06:13 AM EST

Why, just the other day, Hitler, Pinochet, Krstic and I were having tea, when, out of the blue, cat-doppelgangers appeared, and we all totally freaked out. Especially Hitler, whose palsied quake has become decidedly more pronounced over time. He totally spilled coffee on his lap, then Pinochet got under the table and used his sandpaper tongue to lick it all up. Then Krstic threw a big ball of string into the street, and off went Hitler and Pinochet, and, oh, crap... I'm totally digressing. What I meant to say is VS2FP.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
That's nothing - I once saw cats by Herring (4.00 / 4) #28 Thu Apr 27, 2006 at 09:14:14 AM EST
It was fucking awful.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky
[ Parent ]
uh oh by martingale (4.00 / 1) #11 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 05:02:33 AM EST
Cue theme song(WAV)
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$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
Is that the one by idiot boy (2.00 / 0) #24 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 06:21:03 AM EST
That I tried and failed to hit with a glass of water?

Bloody psychic that one!

That's Deep Throat by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #25 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 06:38:10 AM EST
He of the stupid throaty meow. Hitler is a recent neighbour.

Should have seen me and Orang Utan when we first saw him, we were on the floor in hysterics.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Yeah but can he ... by idiot boy (4.00 / 1) #26 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 06:48:22 AM EST
Draw swasticocks?

[ Parent ]
In Ancient Egypt, cats were worshipped as Gods by wiredog (4.00 / 3) #27 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 07:28:40 AM EST
They have not forgotten this.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Hitler Lives | 28 comments (28 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback