Print Story ATTENTION KELLNERIN INFIDEL
Diary
By johnny (Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 07:34:02 AM EST) (all tags)
a) your mail is bouncing b) I accept your editorial offer.

WE NOW RESUME OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED HUSI DIARY.

Here is a question for yz-all.  How many personae, that is, distinct sub-personalities of yourself do you have?



From May 2000 until June 2004 or so, I often resided in a dumpy room in a dumpy rooming house full of slovenly Harvard and MIT grad students who where half my age, in Somerville MA on weekdays, (in order to be near my jobs in Cambridge/South End Boston), and on weekends I mostly resided at home on Martha's Vineyard with my wife and child or children.  As a hedge against boredom & loneliness during the bacherlor parts of the week, I started hanging out at Kuro5hin, and there I kinda fell into the "johnny" persona.  In my actual humdrum daily life I was and am  John, not johnny. 

In my K5 diary, johhny was wont to do kinda random brain access & wax poetic on general bullshit.  He talked a lot about kapusta and Cortez the Killer. Cortez became a sub-persona of johnny.  In other words, Cortez is two levels down from me.

Then my work situation changed, thank God, and I no longer have to be away from my family so much. I live at home 7 days/week.   And perhaps as a consequence, I find that johnny has kinda revereted to wild type, namely boring old me.  It's been a while since I waxed poetical in random access bullshit mode.

Sometimes I contemplate writing a diary entry called "Somereville Days" about the 4 years when I was spending so much time in Boston and Cambridge (and Somerville), hanging out in my dumpy rooming house room, riding my bicycle all over the cities, living on macaronni and cheese with vegetables and anchovies. (My wife hates anchovies and I never eat them here. Besides, I have already consumed my lifetime allocation of salt).

Anyway the point I'm getting to is that that distinct personna emerged under those conditions.  The conditiosn have changed and he has kinda faded away.  (Well, he is distinct to me. I wouldn't expect y'all to  have noticed so grand a difference between boring old Somerville/Kuro5hin johnny and boring old HuSi John/johnny. But my point that I'm trying to get to is, do you have similarly distinct sub parts of your own self?)

I know that there are lots of people who keep dupe accounts, and presumably those accounts have distinct personalities.  Although in actual fact sometimes I suppose they are not especially distinct.

Well that's the end of this rumination.  Really it's just filler so that my request to get a legit email address for Kellnerin that doesn't bounce would not be the sole content of this diary.

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ATTENTION KELLNERIN INFIDEL | 32 comments (32 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Three by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #1 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 08:08:34 AM EST
Madonna, whore, and Drongo Mac Suzuki, the Immortal Hobbit Ninja.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.


I have noticed by blixco (4.00 / 2) #2 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 08:18:49 AM EST
a distinct difference with new johnny vs old johnny, but I figured: we all change.  Job changes, changes in fortune are bound to change our voices.

With me, good ol' blixco is the bright parts, the sharp bits of whatever jason is.  And that's really the only difference, and it's really only when I'm writing a story.  When I'm writing comments, I tend to be me.

That hasn't always been the case.  But it is now, and I'm comfortable with it.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco


I prefer the term ``moods'' by lm (4.00 / 1) #3 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 09:19:38 AM EST
I've got a macho badass mood that comes out from time to time. This mood is sometimes difficult to differentiate from my more frequently seen cranky dickhead mood. And both are distinct from my various trollerizing moods.

And then there's the cerebral mood I get in sometimes that seems to bore most people. And my various religious moods that delight and titilate all of HuSi.

I wouldn't really call them sub-personalities. But they all are part of composite person.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic


I have several by ana (4.00 / 3) #4 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 09:33:10 AM EST
personae or moods or whatever. At least two of them post drivel to the intarwebs. Well, 3, but the 3rd one only posted one long article that's been picked up here and there. Just keeping up with the various e-mail accounts they all have keeps me amused on slow days.

And they're each a different flavor of honesty about who it is that i am. Turned out to be much richer and more complex than i had imagined before i started writing it all out. one of them won for me the love of a similarly complex unique snowflake, unlike all the others.

And like many things odd, they've attracted their share of cheap shots and prejudice. I do appreciate the acceptance that the husi community has shown.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM


My real life is nothing like I post on the by randomxs (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 09:49:02 AM EST
innernet...it's much worse.

"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him." - Thomas Szasz


Not any more. by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 09:50:59 AM EST
In college I was pretty much a troll IRL - my friends would literally bring me people they wanted me to weird out/piss off and I would figure out what each person's emotional buttons were, and I would push them.

If you were a red neck, I was a flaming gay, if you were gay, I was a red neck, if you were feminist I was the lord of the patriarchy, whatever. I was also vicious.

Also, despite being an utter computer geek - with all the combat skills that implies - I could radiate an air of "don't mess with me" that made me a popular person to bring along for late night trips into the worse sections of the city.

Once I got laid fell into a long term relationship I pretty much lost the ability.

I suspect a strong freudian connection between those days and my current user name.

--
You're no good to me dead. Even half-alive would be socially awkward. - Hugh MacLeod


Well, by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 09:58:03 AM EST
I figure there's been at least two Kellnerins. The earlier iteration is, I think, mostly unremembered now, but existed pre-October 2002, when I first met some of you virtual people (including your own then-johnny self, with a box of books that I think Paddy One-Tune made you bring along) in the flesh. There may have been more than one Kellnerin following that, but if so they're more closely related to the present one, and each other, from my point of view.

I've had other identities in other places -- at least four ways I've signed correspondence other than my given name -- though I don't know if they're all so terribly distinct. Any persona I've inhabited for a while goes through some sort of evolution, anyway.

Though really this was all filler just to say: johnny, check your email.

--
"later" meant either "when you walk around the corner" or "oatmeal."


Paddy One-Tune is sleeping by johnny (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 12:08:42 PM EST
Careful, we don't want to wake him, do we?
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]

also: by johnny (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 12:09:26 PM EST
Reply sent.  Let me know it you see it.
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]

Personalities by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 10:45:30 AM EST
I'm intrigued at the number of us that read a diary titled "ATTENTION KELLNERIN INFIDEL."

I have five distinct personalities.  Home Jim, Work Jim, Boss Jim, Dad Jim, and Jimgon.  Sub-personalities are too numerous to number.  Jimgon and Work Jim have several fractured personalities that I'm unsure if they qualify as actual personaes.



Just the one. by mrgoat (4.00 / 6) #9 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 10:47:43 AM EST

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--


oh how I wish by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 12:45:00 PM EST
I could 7 this.

----
i wish they'd make hitler toilet paper
-mns
[ Parent ]

You could 4 it, then 3 it. by mrgoat (4.00 / 2) #14 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 01:00:14 PM EST
With a second personality, if that personality has an account.

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

listen buddy by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #15 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 01:11:20 PM EST
I don't do dupe accounts

----
i wish they'd make hitler toilet paper
-mns
[ Parent ]

Don't think of it like a dupe account. by mrgoat (4.00 / 2) #16 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 01:20:22 PM EST
Think of it like... like another you, the you you always wanted to be for a few minutes, taller, prettier, able to drink an entire keg of PBR without succumbing to alchohol poisoning, made of pie, etc.

You could be joh'n. Or joh3n.

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

I'm a dainty ballerina! by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #18 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 02:18:45 PM EST

----
i wish they'd make hitler toilet paper
-mns
[ Parent ]

What you are... by mrgoat (4.00 / 2) #19 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 03:32:28 PM EST
...is turning me on.

Slut.

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

14 by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 11:23:46 AM EST
At last count. Sometimes I lose track of them though. 2 sound really really similar in my head so it's hard to determine whether they are seperate entities or if one of the fuckers is trolling me.

It's pretty fluid though, there's basically 5 that stick around all the time, the rest get louder and softer as is their wont.

I use them all in one way or another in various situations. They are as useful as they are a burden.


------------
"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera


I have about three by iGrrrl (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 02:15:31 PM EST
iGrrrl is closest to what most people see IRL these days, although 'she' used to be more regal on line.

The other two don't come out in polite company, and one has been fairly silent for the last few years.

"I don't have time for martial law, I have to get to the gym!" zarathus


I am by ni (4.00 / 5) #20 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 05:08:03 PM EST
completely fascinated by online identity. Sometimes I think it would be a good subject for The Thesis That Time Forgot (expected completion date: Never.) but then I realize I'd much rather write it on something that I don't care about, lest I fuck it up.

That johnny has changed was, to me at least, pretty obvious.

Although in actual fact sometimes I suppose they are not especially distinct.

I think this is one of the most interesting aspects of the whole issue -- that people sometimes try to form a new online identity, and utterly fail at it. Their new online identity is transparent, and obviously their old one. It has changed in name only.

Contrast this with the opposite situation; that you find (and blixco) find yourself in, where the name is the same but the identity is clearly different. (As an aside, I think blixco is wrong if he's claiming a sharp divide between comment-blixco and diary-blixco. blixco's comments in response to coillte are almost always done as diary-blixco, I think. The distinction is mostly there, but it does blur around some edges.)

Complicating the situation further is the experience of meeting these people "in real life", and contrasting the "public face" that people project with their prominent online persona. mrgoat's public face is mrgoat. ana's is not ana (I do not refer to gender here).

Online identity can be unbelievably valuable for exploring facets of yourself that your public face does not express, but it also seems strangely limited. Particularly in an interactive environment (like the scooposphere) people's identities, no matter no fictitious the surface details are, seem to be pulled toward correlation with some facet of their actual personality, albeit often one that's never expressed outside of their head. Perhaps it is simply that these are the identities people want to explore -- that developing a character who is entirely different from yourself is unrewarding. Or perhaps the interaction with others and the continuing, day to day nature of online conversation pressures online identities toward actual ones simply as the path of least resistance.

Eh. I'll stop now. I love this topic.


Think metahistorically, act locally. -- CheeseburgerBrown


... but I hate proof-reading. /nt by ni (2.00 / 0) #21 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 05:09:02 PM EST



Think metahistorically, act locally. -- CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]

You should by ana (4.00 / 1) #22 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 05:12:04 PM EST
write that thesis.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM
[ Parent ]

I should by ni (2.00 / 0) #23 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 05:17:09 PM EST
certainly write a thesis, at any rate. My current plan has been to sit around hoping they'll magically decide to award me a degree without one.

If I do I'll be in touch, begging for an interview or something.


Think metahistorically, act locally. -- CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]

cool. by ana (4.00 / 1) #24 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 05:19:17 PM EST
You know where to find me.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM
[ Parent ]

IAWTP by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #26 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 07:30:44 PM EST
I also find the subject fascinating, and that fascination hasn't diminished in time.

--
"later" meant either "when you walk around the corner" or "oatmeal."
[ Parent ]

see my response below and by johnny (4.00 / 1) #28 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 08:13:50 PM EST
that other address is failing too.  Something about that domain does not like me, perhaps?  Have you a yahoo account?  If not, get one, and maybe we can sort this out.
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]

I had by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #29 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 10:55:55 PM EST
a trouble ticket in with my sysadmin, D, which I hope is now resolved. See your inbox once again for further developments. Many apologies.

--
"later" meant either "when you walk around the corner" or "oatmeal."
[ Parent ]

perceptive comments by johnny (4.00 / 1) #27 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 08:07:32 PM EST
The genesis of the original voice was an exploring of poetical technique in the safe confines of anonymity, but yet within a community context where people would react to whatever johnny had to say. In other words, writing poetry seems pretentitous, lonely, and boring, but goofing around in K5 diaries is a just a goof, and was often fun. The fact that I was a different, kind of untethered person while in Somerville, anonymous on the street, even a blank to most of my housemates, allowed me to assume kind of a mock Doestoesvskian "notes from underground" kind of voice that was perhaps some kind of psychological whatever, a flirtation with the idea of freedom, a world in which I had no obligations as father, husband, son, friend--just a free agent out there in cyberland. Nevertheless it must be admitted that the main impulse was poetical.

A big part of the devolution of johnny from dada sureal kapustoid kommentator to prosebound type="normal" was caused by the political situation in the USA in the Bush Jr. regime, or more accurately by my inability to shut up about it. I began to drop out of character pretty regularly once the war started in 2003, and I found it hard or pointless to try to step back into character. I was (and am) too upset and depressed by the real world situation to put any energy into diarizing little Cornel boxes.

Once I began to know some of the people of Ku5i as meatspace constructs, that artificial "poetical" distance melted, as it were. Similarly, here at home I'm just old boring Dad.

I do like writing that more whacky shit, that free-association, random-access type stuff.  I like pretending I'm Allen Ginsberg or something, writing long runon sentences that change voice, subject, tense, topic and yet somehow cohere. Or, well, his do. Mine do all that except the "cohere" part. I like the fun effects you can find sometimes, and the unexpected connections and correlations that pop out of the substrate when you let your fingers do the talking.

And well, Cortez, he's another bean altogether.
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]

You should see my private face. by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #30 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 02:51:55 PM EST
By which I mean, of course, the face I drew on my privates.

By which I mean, the likeness of "Macho Man" Randy Savage scrawled in marker across my scrotum.

"Snap into a Slim Jim!"

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

Every. Fucking. Time. by ni (4.00 / 2) #31 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 03:22:53 PM EST
It's always the third beer. And you always make it about half way through it before you begin to cave. A few more sips, and the "private face" thing comes out. Inevitably. Every. Fucking. Time.

And then the pants come off, and there's a collective gasp of horror throughout the room. Satisfied, you wander off to piss in the sink. You keep drinking. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then you wake up the next morning, and everything's cool. You joke about not being able to remember anything past beer 2 the night before, and say that you hope you didn't do anything to embarrass yourself. We all laugh awkwardly, and it's never spoken of again. If no one talks about it, it didn't happen, right? Sure. Until the next time you drink. Every. Fucking. Time.


Think metahistorically, act locally. -- CheeseburgerBrown
[ Parent ]

Oh man. by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #32 Wed Apr 26, 2006 at 03:49:18 PM EST
I was hoping someone remembered me re: sink.

Besides me.

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

Zero by The Fool (4.00 / 1) #25 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 05:21:21 PM EST
Or one, I suppose, given that the empty set is a subset of itself.




ATTENTION KELLNERIN INFIDEL | 32 comments (32 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback