Print Story Stuff what has happened since whenever
Diary
By Dr H0ffm4n (Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 04:28:25 AM EST) Meh, stuff, been a while (all tags)
Or not. Mostly not. Seeing as my last diary was Jan 5th, loads must have happened. Mustn't it? Let's see...


Erm. I'll have to check my calendar for clues.

January
Saw Guys and Dolls with some bloke who'd recently been murdered in Eastenders.
When I say 'with', the bloke from Eastenders was in Guys and Dolls, I didn't accompany him to the theatre.
---
Major Midget's arm came out of plaster early in the month. In December she broke both radius and ulna near the wrist by ice skating. Or not so much the skating as the not skating. Now it seems like a long while ago. She recently stuck the X-rays up on her bedroom wall as macabre decoration.
---
Got a job offer from a large bank I used to contract to. Turned it down because:
a. It was a perm position.
b. Money would have been £60k less than I'm on now.
c. I'd actually have to go into the office most days instead of home working like what I pretend to do now.

It was worth considering though, because I know and like the main chap I'd be working with and my contract here is getting pretty tenuous.
---

February
Saw Nights at the Circus at the Lyric Theatre in Hammersmith. Angela Carter's multi-layered allegories went completely over WPKAW's head. She saw it as a completely literal (and therefore nonsense) portrayal of how life was in a circus at the end if the 19th century. She got quite upset afterwards when I tried to have a conversation about why it didn't work.

Natalia Tena(About a Boy, Mrs Henderson Presents) as the pivotal character, Fevvers, was rubbish. Tena's cockerny accent was worse than Dick Van Dyke's and her stage presence was so artificial and bullying rather than the supposed magnetic, naturally dominating presence of the character. Marred what would have been an otherwise accomplished staging of Carter's book.
---
I work from home more often than I go into the office (two days a month is above average now), and there's not actually a lot of work to do. That means I have lots of spare time. So it wasn't too much hassle to start taking Minor Midget's class to the library on Friday afternoons. Except a large group of seven year olds can produce quite a lot of noise in a library. And they seem to go deaf and not hear anything you tell them too.
---
Apart from that, days are wasted playing TrackMania Nations. Which is absolutely free (as in beer) to download and play. Best free game ever IMHO. If anyone remembers Stunt Car Racer, it's like that. Only better because you can make your own tracks, race online and gfx have improved a bit in the last fifteen years or so.
---
Midgets were taken to Morocco by Mother of Midgets and her chap. They thoroughly enjoyed it. It's the most removed culture they've visited. Spain, Portugal, France, Norway and Wales are the others.
---

March
Major Midget found out which secondary school she'll be going to in September. It's an all girls school. None of the girls (or boys) from her current school are going. Some others she knows from previous schools and holiday clubs are going though. I've already given them Gazbo's photo to scare them about nasty men that they might encounter at the school gates.
---
Mother of Midgets split up with her chap after 4 years. Watch this space for wheels to fall off her wagon and Dr H having to step into full time midget juggling.
---
Minor Midget turned 8 years old. Party and pizza and cake and jelly ensue. Also presents. I bought her:

  1. Rush Hour, a traffic-jam puzzle game. It is now legendary as the most crap present ever, that turned out not to be crap at all, but is actually pretty great.
  2. The Muppet Show - Season 1 DVD
  3. 20Q An electronic version of 20 questions. Gets boring pretty quickly.
---

April
One of my best friends turned 50! Sent her some flowers and champers. Probably be dead of old age next time I see her.
---
WPKAW and I went to Wales to see an Am-Dram version of The Importance of Being Earnest. WPKAW's mother played Lady "a handbag?!!?!" Bracknell. Badly.
---
We visited a couple of my friends who now live down on the South coast near towards Brighton. I let my GPS work out the route for WPKAW to drive. I maybe should have switched it out of cycling mode so that it suggested the motorways that ran most of the way beside the 60 miles of muddy winding pathways it actually took us along. Fun, but not very time efficient. WPKAW got pretty irate that we took so long. So we jumped straight on the motorway on the way back and ground to a halt within 5 minutes in the middle of a 10 mile tailback that took us over two hours to clear.
---
The Midgets attended a musical theatre club over the Easter hols. On the last day they did a performance of Les Miserables (abridged). Surprising choice to teach to midgets aged from 5 years old. There were no boys in the group either, so all parts were played by little girls. Made the love scenes a little awkward let me tell you. Do boys just not do drama now?
---
Major Midget is in love. She's not told the young buck in question yet and is agonising over how to do it. She's already filled two A4 pads with plans. I have met his parents though, and they seem decent types. Why does she love this fellow? Because he is: Gentle, artistic, not like other boys, doesn't like sports and most of his friends are girls.

Must. Resist. Will. And. Grace. Stereotyping.
---

Now
So that brings us up to date. Today is Thursday 20th April 2006 and I have actually come into the office today so can't do all the other slacker stuff I would usually get up to. I got so bored I wrote a diary.

It was quite odd coming into town today. That odd agoraphobic feeling when you've not been out for a few days.
---
Tomorrow I'm back at home. Aborists are coming round to do a quote on pruning the trees in the back garden. Apparently it's not a good time of year to prune or fell conifers due to nesting birds. The  trees need to be done before the garden landscapers come in and renovate the garden in May.

---

Films seen at cinema
Walk the Line
Johnny Cash biopic. Pretty good, but Witherspoon does not deserve the Oscar.

Brokeback Mountain
Interesting destructive love story.

Hmm, I'm sure I've seen something else at the cinema this year. Can't remember though. Anyone know where to find a list of films released to cinema in the UK this year?

DVD's rented and watched since last listed (Jan 5th)
Wallace And Gromit - 3 Cracking Adventures
The development of Park's duo that the midgets had never seen.

Bicentennial Man
Robot struggles to become human. "Pinocchio"/"I, Robot" cross with Robin Williams not totally hamming up the part of the robot.

Goodbye Lenin!
East German woman recovering from heart attack and coma has to be shielded from the news of the fall of the Berlin Wall because the shock might kill her. Works best as a vehicle to highlight the differences between E&W Germany during the cold war.

Sunset Boulevard
Almost a noir horror movie. Old actress fails to accept she's past it and much hilarity ensues.

Gandhi
Excellent and surprising biopic.

Scarface
Not as violent as I'd been led to believe. Most bad stuff is off screen. Actually dated and comes across as more of an 80's action film than a subtle gangster biopic.

House Of Sand And Fog
Not what I had expected at all. Woman gets evicted due to non-payment of tax she doesn't owe. The house was left to her by her dad, so she tries to get it back from the Iranian family that moves in. Everyone's dysfunctional personalities lead to japes and adventures. Not bad at all.

Romeo Is Bleeding
I can hardly remember seeing this. Let me take a look at the description on Amazon...
Oh, yes Gary Oldman plays a crooked cop who gets out of his depth with a female Ruskie hit-woman. Gets totally bizarre at the end.

Madagascar
Cartoon flick for the kids. Not brill by my measure. The sort of cartoon churned out now that kids will plead to see simply because it's a cartoon film with animals in. Meh.

Looney Tunes Back In Action
A cartoon/real actor film I actually wanted to see. Beats Roger Rabbit IMHO. But then I don't like Roger Rabbit.

House Of Flying Daggers
Nice cinematography. There's a foolish plot too. Not sure whether the plot was written after they had decided what scenes they wanted to do.

I Heart Huckabees Not a total waste of 120 minutes. Glad that different films like this can be made with major 'stars'.

The Astronaut's Wife
Should have been an episode of the Twilight Zone. And not one of the better ones. How did this get funding? Oh yes, Johnny Depp & Charlize Theron.

Batman Begins
Why do we need yet another Batman movie series? Because the last lot were made nearly twenty years ago. I feel old.

Old Boy [Disc 1 - Movie]
A man gets held prisoner for twenty years without knowing why. He gets released and slowly works out why. Using his fists.

< A Quick Reminder | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Stuff what has happened since whenever | 41 comments (41 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
You've been doing your current gig by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #1 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 04:45:29 AM EST
A long time. How long is it now?

4 years in May by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #8 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:08:35 AM EST
Not one I'd like to give up. Suits a lazy sod like me.

[ Parent ]
Yeah by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #10 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:10:45 AM EST
Sounds ideal. You don't have to come in nor do much work and get paid a fortune. Got any jobs there for me, I'd fit right in...

[ Parent ]
not everyone can handle the stress... by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #14 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:17:24 AM EST
And they are really, really fighting to cut capital costs such as me at the moment. Consultants are not liked by upper management.

[ Parent ]
Consultants by jump the ladder (4.00 / 2) #26 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:39:08 AM EST
Were like Milwall, no one likes us but we don't care...

[ Parent ]
£60k... LESS...? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #2 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 04:48:32 AM EST
Could you Londonian chaps be good sports and just go ahead and get your own currency, so that the rest of us don't have to do 1:1 salary comparisons?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
IAWTP. by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #3 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 04:54:00 AM EST
He must work really hard at the current job, though.

[ Parent ]
ooh, yeah, really hard... by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #11 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:10:48 AM EST
I see myself as like a fireman. I get paid for what I could do if needed, not what I actually do most of the time like sitting around, snoozing.

[ Parent ]
During the last firemen's strike, by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #38 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 02:29:04 PM EST
I was in hospital, in a high dependency unit, and the only patient who was fit to talk. During a conversation with the F-grade staff nurses, I innocently said "But they're only asking for £30,000, surely you get more than that", thinking of the fact that I'd just finished my first full time job, for which that was the exact wage. The highly skilled top grade ward nurses thought that my expectations of what people got paid were excessive. To say the least.

[ Parent ]
Yeah by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 04:56:13 AM EST
But I could buy a castle in Scotlandia for what I paid for my rabbit hutch here in the smoke.

[ Parent ]
Yeah by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:00:11 AM EST
But if you sell your rabbit hutch you could buy a castle in Scotlandia.  See what I'm saying?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Hmm by jump the ladder (4.00 / 2) #6 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:02:34 AM EST
No why would I go and do something silly like that.

I'd prefer a nice villa somewhere sunny like Spain.

[ Parent ]
Ok by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 2) #7 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:04:33 AM EST
I am in full agreement with turning London into a seperate country; at least then we might not have damned Scots voting in parliament.



[ Parent ]
Ok by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:16:15 AM EST
I am in full agreement with Scots not voting in damned Parliament.  Just give us back all our North Sea oil revenues, backdated and with interest, and we'll say no more about it.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Oh, that argument's changed its tune by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 1) #15 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:18:46 AM EST
Suddenly realised there's not long in them there reserves? Oh, the surprise!



[ Parent ]
Same argument by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #18 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:23:04 AM EST
When you catch a thief the tenth time he ransacks the same house, you don't just charge him for the last offence, do you?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
You are Rogerborg by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 1) #20 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:24:38 AM EST
and I claim my five pounds.



[ Parent ]
Meanie by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:29:20 AM EST
You realise that bailing out makes you more apathetic than a Jocklander, right?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Dude by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 1) #25 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:32:07 AM EST
Low energy levels at the moment.



[ Parent ]
Note to self by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #28 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:42:54 AM EST
First ship all our nurses and whisky over the border, then invade the next morning.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Fine by me fella by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 1) #30 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 06:03:49 AM EST
Y'can take our freedom, but we'll have yer wimmen!



[ Parent ]
You have oil, therefore you need our protection by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #17 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:21:45 AM EST
And we have to levee a protection fee. See how this works?

[ Parent ]
I thought we were in a free market? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #21 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:25:35 AM EST
Can't we pay someone else to protect us?  How about the Krauts?  Yes, I think I'd like to see some German tanks facing South across the border.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Would that be cheaper by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #29 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:55:44 AM EST
Or just more entertaining?

[ Parent ]
uh by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #39 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:35:28 PM EST
where do you think MY tax dollars go? Don't say Iraq - the Chinese are picking up the tab for that "adventure."

Everybody still hates me in this city and I hate everybody.

[ Parent ]
mistah mannering! by martingale (4.00 / 1) #40 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 07:12:04 PM EST
I'd like to see that one too.
--
$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]
OK then by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #32 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 06:40:47 AM EST
As long as we can have all those handouts we've gifted you over the years...

Now, is Hadrian's Wall classed as yours or ours?  Might be a good idea to build that up a little.


[ Parent ]
Well, fair enough by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #33 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 06:47:27 AM EST
We'll put the cash in with all the nukular waste we've been storing in the garage for you.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
It should be listed on the deeds by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #34 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 06:50:00 AM EST
If not then we own what's on the left when facing away from the house. Or i it the right? I forget.

[ Parent ]
Huh by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #12 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:10:58 AM EST
You should try living down here on -40k a year, it isn't easy.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
You're a bit of a moaner by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #16 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:19:09 AM EST
Are you sure you're not a Jock?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Hang on, hang on, hang on by Cloaked User (2.00 / 0) #41 Fri Apr 21, 2006 at 01:14:30 AM EST
Clearly that's just a typo - clearly it should read "Money would have been £60k; less than I'm on now".

See how the missing semi-colon makes all the difference?

Fuck me I'm in the wrong gig


--
This is not a psychotic episode. It is a cleansing moment of clarity.

[ Parent ]
In USia, we have a Scarface channel by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:10:39 AM EST
well, not totally, but there's about a 50% chance it will be on the Spike channel at any given time.

I don't know where you got the idea that it was subtle, though.


Don't forget... by jayhawk88 (2.00 / 0) #19 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:23:09 AM EST
...the James Bond movies every weekend.

[ Parent ]
I thought Spike was the Star Trek channel by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #23 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:30:09 AM EST
Or possibly the Ultimate Fighting channel.
Or the CSI channel.
--
Close friendships and a private room can offer most of the things love does.
[ Parent ]
I expected the violence by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #24 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:31:11 AM EST
There was less on screen than I expected. Subtlety in story telling a la The Godfather was what I expected. The story was not as clever or subtle as expected.

[ Parent ]
House of Sand and Fog by TurboThy (2.00 / 0) #27 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 05:39:10 AM EST
is in my top 5 films. Ben Kingsley is da shiznit.
__
Sommerhus til salg, første række til Kattegat.
Traffic Jam is great by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #31 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 06:16:34 AM EST
As is the 20 Q thing. We have one and are constantly amazed at the things it guesses.

---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
Wish you could get extra cards for Rush Hour by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #35 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 06:56:03 AM EST
You could, in theory, generate them by computer. But grading them would be more difficult.

Does your 20Q use the same questions almost every time? That gets dull.
But once you know how a binary search works, it isn't so amazing to me.

[ Parent ]
Mostly the same, yes by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #36 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 07:02:55 AM EST
Obviously it's a binary search and 2^20 = big. I think the amazement comes from the way it spits out an answer when it hasn't seemed to be getting closer. Like, a human guessing "taco" would sneak up via food, Mexican, uses shell, etc. The thing got it from "colorful", apparently.

---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
[ Parent ]
I hear this diary in the monotone by calla (2.00 / 0) #37 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 08:08:40 AM EST
drone of Ben Stein


Stuff what has happened since whenever | 41 comments (41 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback