Print Story WARNING : bike porn inside
By 256 (Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 02:40:37 PM EST) friggin' intense, bikes, cycling, downtube full of centipedes (all tags)
including necrophiliac bike porn

you may recall that i own a bicycle. i talk about it rather a lot. often in a fetishized manner. it looked like this:

well, sad story; it now looks like this:

it had been on the way out for quite a while, but i had been putting off and putting off the day i would retire it. that bike has seen nearly four years of couriering; i had grown more than a touch sentimental about it. but after it broke down yesterday, i realized that it was finally time to euthanise it. anything else would just be cruel.

so yesterday afternoon, after getting off work, i went crawling around the various places one can buy used bikes in this city and came across this beat up old bianchi.

she was in barely rideable condition, but i was able to see through the smeared lipstick and tattered dress to the beautiful, unmarked, double-brazed and butted 23 inch frame beneath. i forked over the $50 and took her home.

when i finally got those heavy wheels, tacky decals and terrible components off of her and cleaned her up, she was as lovely as i had imagined:

and, with a manicure and some new clothes (including a couple of pieces that used to belong to the old bike (shhh... don't tell)):

i am in love.

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WARNING : bike porn inside | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
cool fukin bike ... by randomxs (4.00 / 5) #1 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 02:55:20 PM EST
i like how you "stripped her" and gave her new clothes. That was HAWT.

"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him." - Thomas Szasz
Dude. by Driusan (4.00 / 2) #2 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 02:55:31 PM EST
Two brakes? I think you're getting old, man. Old, overly cautious and washed up.

What's becoming of the old frame? Despite it having been stored in your garage once upon a time, I don't think you've seen the one that I'm riding now. It's seen.. uh, I think it's seen better days.. I mean, I never saw it when it was new, but I assume it was healthier than it is now back then.

At any rate, yeah, what's becoming of your old frame?

Vive le Montréal libre.

you can have it by 256 (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:06:49 PM EST
but i think its time has passed.

its problems:

  • the bottom bracket is fucked.
  • that 52 tooth chainring is slightly warped and three of the chainring bolts are siezed, so it will be some real work to get it off without wrecking the crank
  • speaking of the 52 tooth chainring, it is too big for that frame to handle. i had to file a slight groove into the chainstay to get it on there in the first place and, after the ring got warped that slight groove became a less slight groove. what i'm saying here is that i think the chainstay's structural integristy is not 100%
  • nothing i could do was ever able to make the new headset fit on as tightly as i would have liked. i fear that the headtube may be slighlty ovalized. though i can't say for sure.
  • it has semi-vertical dropouts, which means that it takes a lot of fiddling to get it working smoothly as a single speed.
all that said, it is a beautiful hunk of 6061 aluminium and if you want to try to bring it back to life, you are certainly welcome to.

and regarding the two brakes: i had ridden with just a front brake for so long that i almost did take the back brake off the bianchi. but the weight is negligible and i got to thinking, maybe redundancy isn't such a bad thing where being able to stop is concerned.
I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni

[ Parent ]
I don't think.. by Driusan (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:36:17 PM EST
..that I have the ability to resurrect it, especially not with vertical drops. My chaintool skills are weak, at best. Actually, I don't have the time either, now that I think about it. My inquiry was premature. I'd like to try, but I'm leaving the city for school next Wednesday (and then coming back either Thursday or Friday for 606 Weekend. I didn't plan my moving very well.)

But now that I think about it some more, I have a friend who's always toying with his bike and is currently riding one that he stole from his sister, leaving her bikeless. I think he's the multi-gears type, so I'll ask him if he wants it and if he builds it up to something rideable, steal it for myself.

Vive le Montréal libre.

[ Parent ]
I've Got A Bike You Can Ride It If You Like by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:04:58 PM EST
Also: I've tracked your skateboard down to my mom's house. I'll pick it up from her next weekend at the latest.

Also also: when your 606fest party? Is that tomorrow? I don't want to miss it.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da. We are a simple, grease-loving people who enjoy le weekend de ski.
next friday, april 28th. by 256 (4.00 / 1) #5 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:08:05 PM EST

I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni
[ Parent ]
I'm Calling Jessie RIGHT NOW. by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #6 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:12:25 PM EST
If you get ahold of him, can you let him know by MissTrish (2.00 / 0) #19 Fri Apr 21, 2006 at 08:28:22 AM EST
that I'm not coming to movie night tonight.

ypu're a chair
[ Parent ]
You can probably drop by and visit them tomorrow. by Driusan (4.00 / 2) #7 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:16:49 PM EST
It likely wouldn't be much of a 606 Party without 606, though.

Vive le Montréal libre.
[ Parent ]
Dude by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 1) #9 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:39:51 PM EST
I fully accept that I'm a crap cyclist in terms of, you know, keeping eyes on road and not, say, totty on the pavement, but I'm pretty sure a back brake saved my life at least twice when suddenly noticing the amount of non-moving traffic in front of me. How do you control your front brake reflexes under such circumstances and not go hurtling over the front?

That said, perhaps I'm just a pussy and should've jumped onto the pavement to avoid said traffic. Hrm.

if you have to stop suddenly by 256 (4.00 / 2) #10 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 03:59:01 PM EST
it's ALL front brake anyway. rear break is really only useful for wet conditions or controlled skid.

practise braking only with the front, starting with gentle stops and building up to more sudden one. the trick is to get in the habit of shifting your weight smoothly backwards on the bike; the harder you break, the further back you slide.

I can stop on a dime with just my front brake, but my ass is practically resting on the rear wheel when i do it.
I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni

[ Parent ]
Oh I see by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 1) #11 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 04:05:56 PM EST
Yes, that makes sense, sounds like a good habit to get into.

Still remember the taxi driver's horror at seeing my ugly mug up so close. Fun times!

[ Parent ]
If it's too late to brake by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #15 Fri Apr 21, 2006 at 12:07:21 AM EST
What's the bail-out protocol?  Totty and children first?  Do you take your water bottle to use as a flotation device?

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
lovely bike, sexy as hell by sobeinom (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 04:21:23 PM EST
I agree with the DR above, back and front breaks are nice to have.  Going full speed and applying only the front isnt the smartest idiea unless you are superman.  At one point didnt even have any and man did my shoes wear out fast for some reason.

The new bike looks pretty by the way :-)
Even is inspiring me for one of my bike rides.

  • "As for the above statement, I'll ignore it just for my well being."
  • She's pretty and all, but by calla (4.00 / 1) #13 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 08:22:39 PM EST
    why would you want a girl so tall? Wouldn't she be better for long rides through the countryside instead of the on/off and bumps of the city?

    Nice Rack! (nt) by slozo (4.00 / 2) #14 Thu Apr 20, 2006 at 08:24:21 PM EST

    Funnily enough by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #16 Fri Apr 21, 2006 at 12:17:42 AM EST
    I was just thinking about replacing my own transport.

    Old model:

    New model:

    Look at the sweet new flange grommits on the new one!

    Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

    It's subtle, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #17 Fri Apr 21, 2006 at 04:21:23 AM EST
    but I think you're on something.  I won't say anything, though.
    Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
    [ Parent ]
    Oops by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #18 Fri Apr 21, 2006 at 05:48:42 AM EST
    I'd better get that loose screw fixed on the new one.

    Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
    [ Parent ]
    WARNING : bike porn inside | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback