Print Story Re-living every moment.
To the moon, Alice, you lousy sycophantic whiny bitch.  To the fucking moon.  One of these days.  You dig?


"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines don't have that Problem." -President Ronald Reagan 1985

For the rest of us that failed the promise that the Marines have given, who haven't lived to our potential and haven't done nothin' with the freedoms we have and haven't managed to ever once get rid of a leader who pushes us around like chips on a game board and we haven't even bothered to fight the slow slide to economic disaster and we don't even bother trying to conserve or grow our own food or do anything other than constantly survive on the whiny middle class ethic that chokes our breathing in the middle of the night, for the rest of us, there is a long slow slide to hell being sold to us by glossy catalogs from Crate and Barrel.  My my, the blood on our hands doesn't stick to those pages!

Supercalifragalistic-heskycalidoosky

You can put that in your "don't know what ya said" book.

I have one of those.

It looks a lot like this website.

The drive to work was given a soundtrack by Bob Dylan.

If there is a better gettin' on down the road song than Bob Dylan's Black Diamond Bay, then I don't know it, and I've heard all the good gettin' on down the road songs.  It's a story about a bad scene, and how little the world's disater  means to the television watchin' American beer drinker.    See first paragraph.

Last night right before I fell asleep, I had this dream that I was driving to work and the music on the stereo was the soundtrack for my day.  Then my wife came to bed, turned the teevee on, and shattered every last shred of decent dream with loud defeat.  I hate that goddamn box.  I will sabotage it.

We all have names for our body parts.

The biggest show stopping thought in my head lately is Twenty Years From Right Now, wherein I try to determine exactly how crippled I will be.  This back pain echoes long into the future.  I am hoping that in ten years, new surgical techniques will surface that have better odds, odds of not crippling me further.  I can wait.  But when I think twenty years from right now, I have no choice by to imagine my body broken and worn down by twenty more years, then I add in today's pain and, well, I lose all hope for myself.  At least, I say to myself, I am optimistic enough to believe that I will still be alive after humanity falls apart and chaos reigns.  I mean, that will happen soon as we run out of oil, right?  So, yeah.  I'm a survivor.  I will surveev.

And when I do, all hunched over and limping, swaddled in animal fur and walking with a shotgun in one hand and a walking stick in the other, I will become what my potential insists upon: a feast for the animals who will run me down and eat me.

I am nourishment for the body.  Do this for the rememberence of me.

The Yarbles, Mister.  The Goddamn Yarbles.

I'm sorry, was I supposed to make any goddamn sense this morning?  C'mon, it's Wednesday.  No one makes sense on wednesday, least of all me, over here, the guy on Ultracet.  Sheeesh.

Maybe you should stop writing until the drugs wear off?

Yeah.  Where would that leave us?

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Re-living every moment. | 23 comments (23 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
What about your cybernetic future? by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 05:49:26 AM EST
Your brain removed from body and inserted into a small mobile life support system, optimized for a street legal car that does a 11 second quarter mile?


Well, by blixco (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 05:54:11 AM EST
I'd certainly take oil changes far more seriously then.  And I might even have to get one of those cute TomTomGo GPS thingies.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Interesting idea by ad hoc (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 05:55:20 AM EST
Yikes! by blixco (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 06:05:37 AM EST
I am very gld we don't sell them sit-row-ens here in the Republic of Texas.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
at work today by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu Mar 09, 2006 at 05:59:42 PM EST
i had a conversation about a researcher who has managed to do head transplants on monkeys. my reaction was: what the fuck.
Send me to Austria!
[ Parent ]
Goddamn. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #23 Sat Mar 11, 2006 at 07:02:36 AM EST
I'd take a monkey head transplant, like, right now.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
yarbles ? by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 05:49:35 AM EST
Is that what you call your little man ? "Hey honey, wanna nibble on some yarbles today ?" Or is it onomatopoeia for the sound while she's nibbling on it ?

You r penilitically obsessed. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 05:53:27 AM EST
It's an exclamation from an old Annie comic.  "Yarbles, Mister!"
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Oh hey, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 06:07:21 AM EST
apparently you're right.  And apparently the movie A Clockwork Orange stole an innocent line form Annie and made it into a nasty reference.  Imagine that!
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
hah! by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 06:14:33 AM EST
I was just trying to make a funny about naming body parts and yarbles.. (And I didn't know the Annie connection.. I thought her line was one of those "golly gee whizakers" kinda things..

[ Parent ]
God Bless Flavor Flav by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 3) #8 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 06:07:47 AM EST

and the sage words he has given us.


-
You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
What a lovely vision by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 06:11:40 AM EST
"At least, I say to myself, I am optimistic enough to believe that I will still be alive after humanity falls apart and chaos reigns." --Blixco

Kudos to you for having the will to keep fighting!  Get one for the Gipper and all that!

I have a question, if I may.  Are you really convinced that its all gonna end?  Regardless of the cause, (nuclear war, environmental damage, social chaos) is that something you really believe?

Or are you projecting your own mortality onto the whole of humanity? 

And if you do believe that, why do you bother worring or commenting on it?  It's probably nothing you can fix.

I think that humans are harder to kill than cockroaches and more tenacious then gravity.  Will things change?  Sure.  How?  I don't know. Furthermore, I don't bother to worry about it.  I do what I know is right and encourage others.  It may not make a differance in the balance, but there it is.

On a side note, you should see a counselor about your back pain and your thoughts on it.  Getting some mental help to cope with the physical might make you happier.

Then again, it might be the drugs talking.

Gedvondur
"...it isn't like I dug up her great-grandmother and fucked her in the eye socket." -clock

It's all gonna end, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #11 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 07:01:20 AM EST
but it's all gonna end all the time, has been all ending for thousands of years.  Will it all end while I am here?  Maybe.  So why bother etc?  Same reasons I don't off myself when I wake up in the morning.

In re: therapy, indeed.  That's next, once I stop being in acute pain.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Hmm by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #12 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 09:46:48 AM EST
Well I guess my point was simply to relax and have a beer.  I have a policy about not worrying about things I can't change.  Those things still worry and on occasion piss me off.  But for the most part I say "fuck it" and take care of my own bizness.

Gedvondur
"...it isn't like I dug up her great-grandmother and fucked her in the eye socket." -clock

[ Parent ]
Oh I know. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 10:34:18 AM EST
The thing is, the end of the world shit doesn't bother me....doesn't dominate my thinking.  But i do have to be concerned with it.  Lack of concern is what kills us.

And the other shit what wakes me at 3am isn't things I can't change.  It's things I should have avoided.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
When I was 19 by cam (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 11:26:58 AM EST
I played in a pop band. We did a cover of Alphaville's "Big in Japan".

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

Don't bother by Forbidden (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 01:02:04 PM EST
It's all going to end. The towers, the light, the sky. Every drop sucked up by the cold-hearted fire of social darwinism.

In the end, in the New days and the First days, it's a crap shoot. Place your bets, drop your pants, and 'pray.' With luck, you wont make it. With luck, someone else will have to do all the hard work.

And the genius is they wont even know why.


You once was.
But it isn't instantaneous, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #16 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 02:19:12 PM EST
and it will be dramatic!
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Dramatic in the same way that the man by Forbidden (4.00 / 1) #17 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 02:24:05 PM EST
Who just rediscovered his daughter whom his estranged wife had put up for adoption back when he was 19, too young to have a baby, is having a fatal heart attack in his car on the way to see the eyes of his daughter for the first time in thirty-two years.

To the girl driving daddy's Lexus ten cars behind him, the guy driving a beat up rust bucket two cars behind that, and the man going hungry in the streets four blocks down so his children can eat, there's no drama.

It's some stupid car.

Sorry I was late for work.

No, I'm not hungry baby. Go on and eat.


You once was.
[ Parent ]
No comparisons by blixco (4.00 / 1) #18 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 04:48:41 PM EST
without invitation to compare; the perception of that moment is only what it is, not what we compare it to be.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Hah by Forbidden (4.00 / 1) #19 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 04:50:05 PM EST
We perceive nothing but change, comparing what is to what was.

Without comparison there is no perception.


You once was.
[ Parent ]
You compare by blixco (4.00 / 1) #20 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 04:53:53 PM EST
what you know to what you know.  Everything else is conjecture, what you think you know.  What you guess.  You don't really know.

My life, whatever failings, is self-centered.  That is an inevitable side effect of being one person.  I can say my pain is greater or smaller than some random other event, and I'll be wrong.  Because I can't possibly be right.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
You can't really 'know' anything, for certain by Forbidden (4.00 / 1) #21 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 05:12:01 PM EST
But I guess with a certain degree of credibility. Good enough to guess.

Regarding life, I don't think it's fair to call it self-centered. Someone who is self centered is someone who can't or wont empathise, yet you clearly do (or pretend to).

You are right, from your own point of view. Everything that any one person thinks, believes, does, or doesn't do is completely justified within thier own immutable point of view.

Unless, of course, they're psychotic.


You once was.
[ Parent ]
Re-living every moment. | 23 comments (23 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback