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Furries
By toxicfur (Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 03:43:44 PM EST) fun loving cowwqas., Teh Dawg, work (all tags)
Or, how I spent my Friday evening.


I was at work today from 7:30 am until 6:00 pm, with an hour break for a really lovely lunch with ana and Kellnerin. I was the last to leave today, and it was odd being in a completely quiet and deserted office. I haven't had that experience since graduate school.

It's cold here, and windy--windchills in the teens--and ana, being astoundingly wonderful, picked me up at the train station. When I sat in the car, I lost the drive I'd had all day, and most of the good humor. I just wanted to sit on the couch and vegetate for a while before thinking of such details as dinner.

On the couch, though, was a poop smear. Teh Dawg apparently has an upset tummy (probably from the antibiotics she's on), and the poop gets all embedded in the fur around her ass. She sits on the couch, and eeuw. Oh, well. I found the upholstery cleaner, took care of it, and tried, with limited success to focus on surfing the intarwebs.

"Can you talk me through making chicken stir-fry?" ana asked.

"Sure." I smiled. ana was going to cook. I could sit at the table and read or stare into space and offer advice.

A little while later, Teh Dawg got dinner and went outside. A few minutes later, she came back in. And shook all over. Poop flew, splattering all over the mudroom. I grabbed the wipes I'd purchased for such things and started wiping Teh Dawg's ass. Poop slid off the fur and landed on the floor. She, trying to get away from my not-so-gentle ministrations, stepped in it and spread it around a bit further.

I threw her in the bathtub, scrubbed her ass with White Musk bubblebath (the dog shampoo being upstairs and ana being busy stir-frying chicken and cashews and veggies). The matted-in-fur poop was worse than I first thought. "Can you bring me some scissors?" I yelled. They appeared over my right shoulder, and I grabbed the loose skin above Teh Dawg's tail and started trimming. Fur, poop, fur with poop, poop with fur.

Finally she was clean, dry, and running to find her stuffed mouse. I cleaned up the poop smeared on the bathroom floor, the tub, the mudroom floor, and me. 

"Well," I said. "If (God forbid) we should ever have a kid, I won't have to face anything this bad."

"Heh," ana replied. "Kids are much more creative with it after they've pooped."

I had to admit that ana had a point, and I heard an audible chunk as my biological clock ground to a halt.

< eh, try again next time | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Poop. | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Yes, but... by iGrrrl (4.00 / 2) #1 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:12:50 PM EST
kids outgrow it.

I actually got stuff written today!  I came in for my 30 minute meeting, and that was it.  Of course, I parked my car at the station that is by-passed by the train I took home, which I realized before we got there and called $husband who could look up the schedule on line and tell me where to get off (literally), so that Ihad to wait 15 minutes in the cold watching a TV ep on my iBook and hoping my screen didn't freeze.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

Bummer, about the train. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:18:21 PM EST
Good that you got some writing done. I do hope that your afternoon meeting was more productive than my afternoon meeting. I got to watch $investigator running headlong into a wall again and again, while $important_investigator watched and waited, preparing to pounce.
--
damn it, lif eis actually really *far4 too good at tghe momnent, shboyukbnt;t whilen. --Dr Thrustgood
[ Parent ]
Potty by duxup (4.00 / 3) #2 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:16:14 PM EST
Google Ads says that you can acomplish potty training in three days . . . I don't know if they meant dogs, but it sounds like it is worth a try.

Google Ads also says that there are some nice people in my area that apparently will clean dog poop from my yard so I don't have to...
____

Hm. by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:20:41 PM EST
I get "Lumbar Spine Fusion" Google ads. I'm much more intrigued by the poor schmuck trying to make a few bucks cleaning dog poop from the yard. I might like to support such a career goal.
--
damn it, lif eis actually really *far4 too good at tghe momnent, shboyukbnt;t whilen. --Dr Thrustgood
[ Parent ]
Well, just so you know, by mrgoat (4.00 / 3) #12 Sat Mar 04, 2006 at 04:29:21 AM EST
I got the potty training in three days one, and something about removing menstrual stains.

"Watch Menstrual Stains Dissapear! Even Set-In Stains"

--top hat--

[ Parent ]
Yeah, you do that. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #15 Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 03:38:46 AM EST
I mean...you do that?
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Our eldest cat is particularly cantankerous by cam (4.00 / 3) #3 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:16:36 PM EST
We had my wife's aunt over for dinner one night. Our eldest cat, who has long black fur, got crap stuck in his fur. So to let us know he dragged his butt in one big circle of the dinner table leaving a nice wide - and smelly - streak behind. A NASCAR driver would be proud of the line he kept. Dinner was ruined.

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

Kidpoop and dogpoop are the reason... by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #4 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:17:32 PM EST

that the Baby Jebus invented the FIREHOSE!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
i considered... by ana (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:20:09 PM EST
posting an ATTENTION MNS INFIDEL COWWQAS. comment. Involves both puppies an poop reports.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

[ Parent ]
FEAR NOT! by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:23:14 PM EST

I see all, thanks to the majesty of HOTLIST. That, and my inimitable Puppydar.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
I'm just thankful, by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #9 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:25:44 PM EST
(and not for the first time, but for a very, very different reason), that we have a detachable shower head. Made it easy to spray off teh dawg's ass with nice warm water.
--
damn it, lif eis actually really *far4 too good at tghe momnent, shboyukbnt;t whilen. --Dr Thrustgood
[ Parent ]
WIPO: by NoMoreNicksLeft (4.00 / 1) #10 Fri Mar 03, 2006 at 04:43:48 PM EST
I can't tell the difference. Especially if you batter and deep fry them.
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Do not look directly into laser with remaining good eye.
If only I knew by molasses (4.00 / 1) #11 Sat Mar 04, 2006 at 03:30:50 AM EST
how to do those sooper-cool linky things you geeks do.

instead, here's a site w/o sooper cool link: 

www.smellypoop.com/photogallery.html

heh

Ugh. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #13 Sat Mar 04, 2006 at 04:57:38 AM EST
It's furry-scat pr0n! And it's way too early for me to be looking at dog poop, especially the poop from someone else's dog. I don't know why, but the poop from my own critters doesn't give me the OCD-willies the way other critter-poop does. The mysteries of mental illness...
--
damn it, lif eis actually really *far4 too good at tghe momnent, shboyukbnt;t whilen. --Dr Thrustgood
[ Parent ]
Ah hah! by blixco (4.00 / 1) #14 Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 03:36:43 AM EST
Goddamn.  Best last line, ever.

Pico often gets an upset stomach...she is allergic to everything in the world, and eats special food for sensative dogs.  We normally give her 1/2 a pepto bismol tablet (they have those chewable wafers...half of one of those) and she recovers quick.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

Poop. | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback