Print Story Talkin' Out the Side of Your Neck
Film Production Journal: Sweet plastic loving. The seven pillars are our rock and our fortress. The dying race of slow cowboys.


Office: Film Update

    Last weekend, Pete and James filmed the first scenes of their short film. One of the scenes involved Pete, in the role of Tatís, giving the doll a backrub. Apparently the scene was so absurd that James and his wife, on hand for the filming, had to leave the room because they were laughing so hard it was getting picked up by the sound gear. Furthermore, their laughter kept making Pete corpse, and they had to go. The only one who wasn't laughing was Pete's wife. I'm told she ended up acting in the role of Director of Photography.
    Monday, in the cube de sac, Pete and James were discussing the footage.
    Pete, like Morgan Freeman, refuses to watch himself filmed. He hadn't seen what his wife shoot.
    "It's good stuff," said James. "It's weird. It like actually, you know, captures like the character of you and the doll."
    "Well, it wasn't X-rated or anything – but we definitely made it, you know, sensual."

Office: The Seven Pillars

    Steve, the office's biggest purveyor of tall tales, was chastised yesterday by the PtB organelle that filled in the gap Ike left when he was selected against. I'm not certain what Steve got in trouble for, but he was told that, in future situations when he must make an on-the-spot decision and cannot turn to his superiors for guidance, he should, and I quote, "adhere to the seven pillars of our mission statement."

    This comment would not be worthy of quotation if it were not for the odd fact that, as far as anybody I've spoken to knows, we've never had a mission statement.

    Since the PtB fragment's declaration, we've been going out of our way to adhere to the seven pillars – referencing them in sort of mix of Warner Oland referencing "ancient Chinese wisdom" and Moreau's beast men reciting the Law.
    For example:
    "The fifth pillar says 3:30 is Starbucks run time. Heed the fifth pillar. Adhere to the seven pillars of our mission statement."
    "Why do people keep picking up my print-outs? If they aren't your print-outs, don't touch them. So says the third pillar. Adhere to the seven pillars of our mission statement."
    "If they don't like it, they can kiss my ass – in accordance with the sixth pillar. Adhere to the seven pillars of our mission statement."

Home: Film

    Watched Once Upon a Time in the West last night. Though I recognize their importance as bedrock texts in the canon of cool guy shit, the truth is I often find Sergio Leone try my patience. Unless I'm in specifically in the mood for it, the deliberate pacing seems more dragging than measured. I don't believe I've ever successfully sat through "For a Few Dollars More." I began OUTW with some trepidation, but it really grabbed me.
    I will avoid the exhaustive review and instead point to one element. The film is the most postmodern Western I've ever seen. Nearly every character, shot, and scene is paying homage to some other flick. Even the many of the props are lifted from other flicks. In the first shot alone we get actors from High Noon, Sergeant Rutledge, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, John Wayne's firearm from Rio Bravo, and a shot from The Iron Horse. However, what makes the film brilliant is not the pastiche, but the fact that the scene works even if you are completely unaware of the references. Unlike, say, Kill Bill which overtly references films and then uses homage as justification for the references' existence within the film (why are the swordsmen wearing Kato masks and drivers' livery? – because the movie is built on Bruce Lee references, that's why), OUTW works entirely on its own. It's the difference between a well footnoted book and a book made of footnotes. I enjoy spotting in-jokes and allusions as much as the next guy, but I respect the film for not feeling like an exercise in citations.

First Day

    May had her first day at the new gig yesterday. She says it went great.

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Talkin' Out the Side of Your Neck | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Comment #1: 'Corpse' is a verb? by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #1 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 06:21:06 AM EST


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Theater Slang by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 06:31:09 AM EST
To laugh out of character is to corpse.

When an actor begins to laugh out of character, he or she is said to be corpsing.

I've also read that this term applies to people who forget their lines - but I've never seen that actually used in verbal or written communication, just in dictionaries.

[ Parent ]
Comment #2: Morgan Freeman won't watch himself? by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 06:21:55 AM EST
Yet Another Way In Which We Are Alike, Or Would Be If I Was An Elderly, Black Actor.

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According to a Profile in the IHT by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 07:20:20 AM EST
The only one of his movies he's ever watched the final cut of is Million Dollar Baby. He claims watching his own work bores him.

[ Parent ]
Probably by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 07:49:02 AM EST
Because he's in so many shitty movies.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Heretic! by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 09:17:44 AM EST

All praise Téa Leoni, and the Horse She Rode In On!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Pete the movie star by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 06:27:27 AM EST
so has pete practiced getting the gun up his arse ? And how well was the duct-tape hidden during filming ? And will his wife use the footage in divorce proceedings against him ?

I can't stand most John Wayne movies. If that makes me a commie pinko, so be it. His acting is just, gah, over the top. I'll take a Eastwood western any day. That being said, I guess I should check out OUTW.

Your mission statement has pillars? by lb008d (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 06:36:58 AM EST
Expect a DHS call soon.

If Would Be More Accurate to Say: by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 06:43:22 AM EST
"Your fictional mission statement has pillars?" or "If you actually had this purely imaginary mission statement it would include these hypothetical pillars?"

[ Parent ]
Wait just a minute... by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 06:56:08 AM EST

You have people who have tall tales that rank higher than "fought an army of prarie dogs"? Holy crap!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
That's Steve by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 07:05:13 AM EST
Steve's the prairie dog fighter. The one who was cheated out of the Scrabble crown. The one who nearly married an Eskimo princess. That's him.


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Ahhhhh, Color Me Idiotic by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 07:08:45 AM EST

But, in my defense, they do both have two 'e's in their name. Other-vowel bigots, the both of them!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Speaking of which, by ni (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 08:55:47 AM EST
I'm not sure I mentioned it before, but (against all odds) "GI" Joel Sherman actually did end up replying to my email.


Think metahistorically, act locally. -- CheeseburgerBrown
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I Don't Think You Did Mention It by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 09:14:43 AM EST
You mentioned contacting him, but you didn't say he wrote back (or, if you did, I apologize for missing it).

I'm assuming Government Issue denied everything.

[ Parent ]
I'm pretty certain I didn't mention it. by ni (4.00 / 1) #16 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 09:18:53 AM EST
Email follows:

Hi [ni],

Sorry for the delayed reply, was away all week in Reno for this year's National Scrabble Championship -- no I didn't come close to winning this time.  You may forward the following to your group.

I do know one very crazy guy named Steve.  Alas, his memory for arcane facts is much too good and his imagination much too poor to have produced the completely apocryphal story that your crazy Steve came up with.  That one sounds like an
embellished reference to the incident in which I won a long personal challenge match against Matt Graham, played in my living room; tho there were no secret tactics employed away from the board to compromise his chances.  To CRWM: I'm a little surprised you'd botch my unit number that badly, I thought everyone knew I was in the 4077th.  (Not!, and what's up with all the Prairie Dog refs?)

But thanks to all of you and your crazy Steve for inflating my ego by proving some of you have actually heard of me, and seen "Word Wars."  It's encouraging to know we have some audience beyond our own somewhat insular competitive community.

The real G.I. Joel Sherman,
Bronx, NY


Think metahistorically, act locally. -- CheeseburgerBrown

[ Parent ]
For the record the whole . . . by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 09:47:39 AM EST
Unit number and the military anti-prairie squad thing was MNS's doing and not mine.

Nice of him to take it so well.


[ Parent ]
I believe I have to reread these diaries by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 01:36:47 PM EST
To find that Scrabble anecdote and the rest of the context. And anything else that may pique my interest, obviously.

[ Parent ]
It could be worse by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 07:50:11 AM EST
We have a mission statement. One line reads "We are not here to be logical". I'm not kidding.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Talkin' Out the Side of Your Neck | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback