Candidate #1

I know this guy whose engine of rationalization was taxed when he had to face the fact that better men than he were picking up his slack, in service of his kin where he was absent. He was unsettled by the spectre of his own inattention, and responded to a cry for help as if it were his habit. (No doubt a habit of intention, but not one of action.)

The only blue point is that the lesson has only been learned for today: like a goldfish it only takes ten days to unlearn new tricks. (Forgive the cynicism but we've sat through this one-act play before.)

International Fathering Index Score: C+
* Subject verbalizes interest in ameliorating his behaviour, attempts to make good when prompted. Basic wilful obliviousness still an issue.

Candidate #2

I know this guy whose hard-won retirement fantasies have been multiply delayed by his commitment to look after his kin, both by blood and integrated via life, and despite this he seldom stops smiling. His best colours shine brightest when he is helping to negotiate a crisis -- his or somebody else's -- with patience, reason and candor. (The more people you care about the more crises their are to field.)

He is the sort of fellow who makes doing the right thing seem easy, and the most natural thing in the world. (Forgive the fat laurels: I didn't afford him enough of them when I was a kid.)

International Fathering Index Score: A+
* The only real point of criticism is that he may set the bar too high.

Candidate #3

I know this guy who asked his son for advice, and when his son gave advice that was candid and constructive instead of flattering and empty the guy decided it was worth disowning his son over, so badly burned the disrespect of having his loaded questions answered honestly. (Like wishes, the truth should be requested only after due consideration.)

The only golden point is that maybe the son will learn not to let the father's judgements weigh him down, because those judgements are so apparently baseless, reactionary, defensive and small. (Forgive my vinegar: I've tangled with the old man, too.)

International Fathering Index Score: F
* Subject's ability to evaluate emotional situations has been hopelessly warped by his own childhood trauma, exacerbated by cerebral injury in late adulthood. Pervasive paranoia and strong feelings of persecution sabotage most attempts to surmount egocentricism.