Dr. Wife's Party

The wife had this idea to have a party and show her favorite musical movie, Hedwig and the Angry Inch (yes, Inch...not Itch....damnit!).  She invited the Usual Suspects, including several HuSi users and readers, all of whom I used to work with at Dell. We ordered 10.2 metric fuckloads of pizza and cleaned the house a bit.

All told, a good time was had.  A+++, would party again.  My favorite individual moments are best kept under wraps.  I do miss seeing my former coworkers on a daily basis. They're a good bunch of people.  And drop-dead attractive, every one of them.

It Wasn't That Kind Of Party

Back in 94 or 95 I went to this party at my cousin's house in El Paso.  I was somewhat single at the time (maybe 70 percent single) and was told that I was going to meet a girl at this party, a friend of a friend of etc.  So I got all gussied up (as gussied as a mullet-having Mustang-driving chain-smoking greasy white kid could get) and drove to the lower-east side, close to the river, close to the kleig lights of the border patrol.  I drove down there bearing gifts: a carton of smokes and a flask of Old Sock.

The party, a backyard barbequeue the size and population of Rhode Island, was in full swing when I arrived.  The cabrito was already half-gone, the quarters of pig and cow were being demolished, and the 300 or so family, neighbors, and friends were many sheets to the proverbial wind.  I was at a disadvantage.

Being a younger more capable version of myself, it took me no time to get caught up.  I'd just finished my fourth cup of whiskey and was taking part in a heated debate of the worth of construction grade pine vs consumer grade fir when a hand descended over my eyes from behind.  Thinking it to be my cousin, I reached up and grabbed the wrists that were attached to the hands and spun around, keeping them captive.  My cousin was a short girl, blonde with blue eyes.  The girl writhing in pain from my half-drunken wrist lock was brown haired and had brown eyes.  And this really amazing caramel skin. And she was sort of wincing in pain.

That's not a great way to meet a chick, but she should have ben expecting it what with the way my family is.  In later conversation, it turned out she was the daughter of a woman who knew my dad, and by knew...well, my dad was a drummer in a rock band for many years.  On finding that out, I lost any interest in pursuing her.

I mean, there's every chance she was my half-sister.

Boring and Sophisticated

The wife and I drove to the breezy cosmopolitan metropolis of San Marcos yesterday to shop for clothes, as a birthday present for her (and out of rampant necessity for me).  I had to engage my Think Positive, Be Positive warm gooey center to overcome my fear of 1) pain and 2) shopping.  My back was OK-ish, a little rough in the morning and when I got out of the car.  But after a middling drive through dense, southern California-style traffic we arrived at our destination, the San Marcos Outlet Mall Thingy.  San Marcos has a huge tract of land turned into a huge strip mall of many factory outlet stores.  There's a Sak's 5th ave store, Perry Ellis, Calvin Klein, Brooks Brothers, etc.  You name it, they probably have a store there.  Mingle that with some low-rent stores and the usual smattering of sunglass, watch, and jewelry stores then multiply it by 20 square miles and you have the Outlet Mall Thingy.  We got there at noon-thirty, had to dance-fight for parking within the confines of the mall thingy, and started what would end up being our four hour tour.  Laurea was apprehensive about my outlook and attitude, but I had a really good time making fun of the fashions, the people, myself, and the general state of the crowd.  There are, at any given time, between three hundred and four hundred thousand people in the complex milling around, bumping in to one another.  I found the least crowd density at the Neiman Marcus (I don't know how to spell any of these store names) outlet, where overstuffed leather furniture was on display next to diamond-crusted Jaguar XJs.  We stayed there a bit, contemplating the handbags made of rare birds and the rhino-encrusted Gulfstream Jet, then marched on to Brooks Brothers, where I found a navy suit jacket that nearly killed me it was so perfectly capable.  I put it on and immediately took on the stature and countenance of a golden god.  I waved at my peeps and they waved back unto me, and it was Good.  I removed the jacket and placed it in a nearby Ark, to be never seen by human eyes again.

The bulk of my purchases were made at a Van Heusen store, where everything that was normally $50 was only $10.  I also purchased a pair of linen trousers from some shop that smelled of coconuts and reeked of high-end golf talk.

My purchases were all tactical and necessary save for one: a black velvet blazer from Perry Ellis.  I have no excuses for that one...it was too ridiculous to pass up and cost only $60.  Can you imagine?  A black velvet blazer? I plan on wearing only it and a pair of these snug cotton boxer briefs to work tomorrow.  I mean, c'mon.  Goddamn.

All in all, it was a good trip.  We did have to dance fight our way back out of the parking lot, and I did have to keep my mind off of the wife's last purchases (some wisps of material from a Jockey store), and in the end I traded my soul for a black velvet blazer, but all told, A++++, would shop again.

At Some Point, You Have to Quit.

T-minus whenever it feels right is in effect.

< Ah yes | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
My morning heat. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I bought a clearanced Old Nacy khaki blazer by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 10:21:21 AM EST
for something ridiculous like $7. I'm having trouble envisioning when I'll wear it, but if I have to take  the corporate jet to Heathrow, I'm all set.

It may work the next time I travel in the warmer weather.


When you wear the velvet jacket by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #2 Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 10:35:24 AM EST
and boxer brief ensemble, please don't forget the sock garters. Now that's a classy way to go to work.
--
damn it, lif eis actually really *far4 too good at tghe momnent, shboyukbnt;t whilen. --Dr Thrustgood
you know, by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 02:12:19 PM EST
I'm currently marveling over the fact that (depending on dialect, I guess), none of the words in "four hour tour" rhyme. Also, I wish I had your eyes when I shopped.

--
"Slick Loons Cow Stumbling Readers." —toxicfur
I may be an expensive mushroom. —iGrrrl
My afternoons are free all week... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 03:40:49 PM EST
Lunch?

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless


This week is bad. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 05:33:54 AM EST
Friday is St Drunkens Day, so it's a short week.  I'll see if I can clear thursday and let ya know.

This new gig is a very busy gig, but a hell of a lot of fun.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Tell me, I forget, by grendel (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 04:34:45 PM EST
exactly how many Honda Civics does it take to transport a single metric fuckload?

Damn bro, I always forget what a fancy-boy you dress like.

Your extended family always sounds fun, like mine but drunk.

Seven hundred and forty nine. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 05:41:06 AM EST
And yeah, I do like decent clothes.  But a goddamn velvet blazer?!?

Ya know, I was at one get-together with the extended fam where everyone wasn't drunk...that was my grandmother's funeral.  Shortly afterward, the wake?  Yeah, you know how Acadian and Cajun and Mexican and Texican and Irish people drink.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
I was two fuckloads off. by grendel (4.00 / 1) #17 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 04:37:09 PM EST
I'm resisting everything I could say about black velvet. I swear, I ain't saying it.

I think I have common heritage with all those sort of folks. Yeah, I think I know very well how they drink. It really is too bad that the generation preceding mine went teetotaller. I suspect they would have been far more... something than they are.

[ Parent ]
Quarters of pig and cow by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 12:43:05 AM EST
Damn you people know how to barbecue

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It's political correctness gone mad!

The goat. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 05:41:59 AM EST
They had the best cabrito at that party.  Hell, even my small (less than 100 people) BBQs, I go through four briskets and enough sausage to make a hog.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
BBQ's in the UK by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 05:45:21 AM EST
The one person who knows how to cook using FIRE slings the odd burger and sausage on a one foot square disposable BBQ from the supermarket. It starts to rain. Give up and get drunk on an empty stomach. Every time.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
I would go mad. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 05:58:35 AM EST
And Dr Wife is looking at London as a place to live.

I'll have to bring my own BBQ implements.  And a big damn cowboy hat.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
If you can organise a good BBQ by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 06:04:05 AM EST
Trust me, it would make you VERY popular.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
His barbeques are famous. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #16 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 09:45:52 AM EST
And my mouth is watering at the thought.

[ Parent ]
I've been to good barbeques here. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 09:45:22 AM EST
Mainly run by people of other ethnicities, but not always.

[ Parent ]
If you can swing it... by atreides (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 05:58:48 AM EST
...Thursday is perfect.

Have you seen The Passion yet? Here's a spoiler for you: Jesus dies.
"...compassion is more than a 16 point word in scrabble." - MostlyHarmless


I'll let ya know. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Mar 14, 2006 at 06:26:43 AM EST
etc.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
at some point, you have to quit by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #18 Thu Mar 16, 2006 at 06:33:11 AM EST
appeared to my mind as "at some point, you have to quilt". and damnit, i do. i dont want to, but i have to get this fucker finished. poop.
Send me to Austria!
You must quilt! by blixco (2.00 / 0) #19 Thu Mar 16, 2006 at 06:57:23 AM EST
For the love of gord!
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
i know by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #20 Thu Mar 16, 2006 at 07:06:40 AM EST
but quilting is not much fun when you're all by yourself...it's a social thing.
Send me to Austria!
[ Parent ]
My morning heat. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback