Print Story Must Not Sleep, Must Warn Others
Working life
By MisterQueue (Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 09:54:59 AM EST) Sex, Work, Fucking (all tags)
Just a quick tale about girls fighting over me at work that makes me all giddy like a small retarded child receiving his first ice cream cone.


Hi Internet, hello, how are you? What is up with you Internet? It is like the old times!!!11

Okay.. so the story you fucking jackals desire from the pit of your filthy loins.

At work, there are two ladies. There's actually rather more than that but I will not pander to you lot... I refuse to do it.

The two that we are concerned with for this very story today are... for the sake of this diary... named Lena and.. hell I dunno.. Minka. Clearly those are their real names.

Leena is a bookish sort of girl with a secret wild streak. She's very well read, sly, entertaining, and quick witted.

Minka has frightening breasts... I do not say this as a typical male thing to say, if she had some sort of other personality redeeming qualities I would list those first. She's not completely a lost lamb I guess... it's just... she's vapid. It's almost as though she performs that way because that's what she thinks people expect from her. (I also hear from her best friend who works here that her husband abuses her, but I don't know if that's true.)

So, anyway, Minka's frightening breasts are always massive and exposed. I mean almost to the areola exposed.

Minka has always been friendly but we don't have a lot in common other than the fact that I playfully mock her and she obligingly giggles and doesn't take me to HR. It's a pretty sweet deal really...

Leena however is kinda like a buddy. I hang out with her outside of work from time to time, but not all that often. Her boyfriend also works here and he's a pretty good guy so, you know, nothing like that.. but I am adorable so I get some mild basic flirting from her in a way. You know, the meaningless "makes work go by faster" style banter; so you know entertaining and all that.

Well.. apparently, unbeknownst to yours triz-to-the-whoooly, there's a little rivalry and competition happening between Minka and Leena. I walked into the office the other day and over the wall I heard Minka shout out, "Q? What are you wearing?!"

I thought to myself... is she going to start charging me 2.50 a minute? Rather than proffer my credit card, I inquired further, "Uh... what exactly do you mean?" Maybe she noticed I was wearing tennis shoes on a non-casual non-friday. Damn her, damn her to hell! Now I'd have to update my resume. RED ALERT! SEND OUT THE ASSASSINS!

"What cologne are you wearing? It's driving me crazy?!" Whew, disregard red alert. Call back the trained monkeys...

"Cologne?" I said cheekily, "That isn't cologne, that's pheromones baby..." It's cologne. Don't tell.

She bolts over the wall and inhales sharply. "It's been driving me crazy this whole time!"

She gives me the big vapid OMGLOLZ0R!!! eyes all fluttery like, trying to claw me into her void of a web... I am a smart Q and I dodge all hodge podge and just do the shift trick.

Somehow the information that I produce serious wetness via scent is flittered through the female vine and I'm passed about the aisles like a fucking community personal massager or something. I had more noses close to me than I was comfy with. (Okay, I'm half-lying, it was as flattering as it was unnerving).

So Minka makes this her deal for the day; trying to bring it up coquettishly and whatnot, but I'm not budging.

Sometime, towards the end of the day, Leena comes over to me all angrylike.

"You know why she's doing that don't you?"

I'd forgotten all about the whole deal in my desire to shirk work... so I apparently boggled as she continued.

"Minka. Look I know this is totally 8th grade but I figure it will amuse you so... she knows I like you, but I can't stand her. So she's trying to get your attention to pull a neener neener on me. She does NOT get to do that, she needs to back off because you are MINE!"

Well hell folks, how can you argue with that?

So apparently between the hours of 9 and 6 I'm taken.. and only for flirting. Shit, I'm gonna need an excel spreadsheet and maybe some Outlook scheduled meetings to keep track of all this.

Good thing they're both completely taken otherwise it would be even more amusing to me and I'd probably wet myself publicly... no one needs that man, serious.

-Q

p.s. please regale me with your amusing tales that I'm looking forward to refuting because I'm sure you'll get them terribly wrong.

also shoot me a message. At that place. You know the one.

< Grrr. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Must Not Sleep, Must Warn Others | 90 comments (90 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Uh, by blixco (4.00 / 3) #1 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:04:48 AM EST
You weren't by any chance reading my journal, were you?


---------------------------------
I am ten ninjas. Ten ninjas with root access. - mrgoat

OMG! by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #2 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:09:03 AM EST
I LIKE TOTALLY HEARD THAT MNS IS HAVING YOUR LOVECHILD!1111 LOLZ0R$!!1


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
YES. by blixco (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:10:55 AM EST
AND NO.
---------------------------------
I am ten ninjas. Ten ninjas with root access. - mrgoat
[ Parent ]
Oh, and by blixco (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:11:44 AM EST

---------------------------------
I am ten ninjas. Ten ninjas with root access. - mrgoat
[ Parent ]
Verified witchcraft free! by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #6 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:16:11 AM EST
Since 1834!


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Pheer-moans by blixco (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:17:21 AM EST
are witchy, there, witchboy.  You tryin' to seduce them God-fearin' wimmin with your majikal spells, I see it, all plain as day, black and wite right there on this page.
---------------------------------
I am ten ninjas. Ten ninjas with root access. - mrgoat
[ Parent ]
You know what? by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 3) #8 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:20:09 AM EST

I love a sign that says, "For Info: Call." No number, just says "CALL." Now that's good planning there.

I think I need to put up a sign like that in my front yard.

NO CLOTHES!
FOR INFO: CALL!
UNLESS FEMALE, THEN APPROACH DOOR!

It'd be my luck my wife would be home the day the neighborhood girls decided to come ask about it.

[ Parent ]
The sad day comes when you get only calls by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:23:41 AM EST
NoTraffic


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
It's not even by blixco (4.00 / 2) #15 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:32:20 AM EST
photoshopped; there's no number there.  It's a sign at the Chinese Graveyard outside of San Antonio.
---------------------------------
I am ten ninjas. Ten ninjas with root access. - mrgoat
[ Parent ]
Funny you should appear. by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 1) #5 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:12:15 AM EST

On today, of all days, for the strangeness that is the queue to make an appearance. Oh, dear, I'm sorry. This won't do. I said "queue" when what I meant was "Queue" Or maybe I should say, "QUEUE." But there must be proper respect at all times. Because if there's anyone in this world that doesn't deserve respect, I'm sure it's you. Which means I must respect you.

But I was happening through some old diary entries on that vile other place, when I saw what was a beautiful thing. Probably long enough ago you've forgotten, remembered, and forgotten again, but it was special. Real special man. From before I was even applying the alcohol to make the gears of twitchy freedom work in my brain. The beautification of domination and endearing forever my freedom of. . .

Whoah, lost my train there for a moment. Not of thought. My model railroad just popped off the track.

But this man, will forever remind me of you. And you shouldn't take that as a compliment, even if it was meant as such. Cause that shit's just caustic. It'll cause flakes of skin to fall off and shit.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I miss ya, Queue. Now, don't go crying, cause you know we ain't worth that. But after all we been through. And then your first entry back is a diatribe about chicks fighting over your stench.

*TEARS UP* Man, I can't take it. . . *RUNS AWAY*

Heh... by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:21:44 AM EST
well I keep tabs, and I'm here kind of... and I guess since the cat's out of the bag I wrote a couple entries for a friend of mine here to get him notice because I'm a non-scruple having mo'fucka.

But yes, it's nice to be missed.. even with old poetry.

Man... what the fuck was I on in that diary?

To be fair I still want to be a lighthouse keeper... and peas are the musical fruit.

So 2 for 2 I guess.

Mr. Awakened Dreamer, if that IS YUOR REAL NAME!


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Shhhhhhhh. by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 2) #17 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:34:18 AM EST

It's not. My real name that is. But I try to keep that on the downlow. Cause, you know, it's all in a handle. And my handle demands respect and attention. Especially from the ladies.

Hey baby, how you doin'.

You know, the janitorial staff was cleaning the lights above my desk and left me a present of seventy files on my keyboard. I moved them to his coffee cup. Cause, I'm thoughtful like that. I'd hate to see him misplace his flies.

[ Parent ]
Upon further analysis by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #25 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:40:04 AM EST
most of the people who commented in that diary are the same ones here every damn day pretty much.

Jeezus, have I really been talking to you fuckers for over 4 years?

In Conclusion, Bob Abooey should get a life, IF YUO KNOW WHAT I MEAN!


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
It's been longer than that. by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 1) #29 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:43:16 AM EST

I just stopped reading after I hit the five-years back point. Because that's some depressing shit yo. Like, to think how much time I've wasted just typing soliloqueues and lolerqueues and shit on the intarwebs over the past few years.

Luckily, that's all been work time and only for brilliance such as this do I allow myself intarweb access at home.

[ Parent ]
First, set up Leena's boyfriend with Minka... by Rogerborg (4.00 / 8) #11 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:23:43 AM EST
No, wait, what the fuck is this, Dear Deirde?  You and those sluts can all go fuck yourself, and I'll send you a little dog who can go fuck itself too.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
Lemme guess by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #12 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:24:30 AM EST
you want me and the sluts and the dog to send you the pictures?


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
No, I'm serious by Rogerborg (4.00 / 6) #19 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:36:18 AM EST
This dog can actually fuck itself.  It's like the happiest dog in the history of the world.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Holy shit! by MisterQueue (4.00 / 3) #22 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:39:00 AM EST
Let's take it on the road. I can be your agent, but I demand 20% off the top, and short on the back and sides.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Is it wrong. . . by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 2) #18 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:35:15 AM EST

That I'm envious of that little dog. Getting to meet the Queue, and being capable of fucking itself. How cool is that?

[ Parent ]
You want some too? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 5) #24 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:39:34 AM EST
You think it's clever to preempt comment #19 while I'm typing it?  I thought we'd got rid of all you filthy North Korean Nazis when we nuked Kabul.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Hey by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #28 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:43:02 AM EST
aren't you meant to be paying your fanclub to 4 you or some shit like that?


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Shhhh by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #44 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:38:42 AM EST
That's like a really huge zit on your wife's nose; we're not talking it in the hopes that it'll just go away by itself.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Bring it bitch. by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 2) #30 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:44:55 AM EST

Just make sure you bring along that little dog. I'd hate to die not seeing a dog that could fuck itself.

Though, now that I think about it, I've seen our younger pup humping the air on occassion, looking awefully happy.

OMG! YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON MY DOG! OH NOES!

[ Parent ]
this comment is preemptively redacted by theantix (4.00 / 1) #63 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 03:28:04 PM EST
but misterqueue knows the contents of the comment anyhow.


[ Parent ]
Please to be referring by joh3n (4.00 / 2) #13 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:29:54 AM EST
to the ladies in the future as 'Allie' and 'Allie's sister'.  That way, when I read the diary, I get the accent right in my head.

NOW GIVE ME A KISS YOU BIG LUG

----

We CAN edit diaries now right? by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:31:17 AM EST
coNgraTs on the girl, the world needs more girls.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Oh shit. by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 3) #20 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:37:18 AM EST

MisterQueue has noticed the edit feature.

Prepare for cultural meltdown in 3. . . 2. . .

[ Parent ]
Yes, I agree by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #23 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:39:08 AM EST
more girls makes the world...um...girlier.  And stuff.  Allz I know is that there's gonna be waaay too much crap (literally and figuratively) filling my humble abode soon.

Now, since I have me no Civ4 yet, could you please smack Tix up for me?

----

[ Parent ]
I would by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #27 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:41:42 AM EST
but I refuse to play him online for 3 basic reasons.

1. I haven't talked to him in a while.
2. I acquired my copy of Civ4 completely legally I assure you.. ASSURE YOU
3. He would kick my ass.

I think you can see how this is clearly the way to go.

Make sure the girl drools on spooky, he likes that.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
I spank tix all the time by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #31 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:49:39 AM EST
HOT! by Awakened Dreamer (2.00 / 0) #33 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:53:40 AM EST

pls pst px k thnx.

[ Parent ]
You haven't seen me play. by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #34 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:53:49 AM EST
ask Tix about when we used to play Risk.*

The only time I'm good at methodical strategy is to pull some chicanery and that's about it.

*If you do ask him he'll probably just say YUO MUST TRADE CARDS!


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Oh she'll drool on Spooky by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #39 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:17:58 AM EST
JUST LIKE HER DADDY

oh wait, I've said too muc---NO CARRIER

----

[ Parent ]
Oh and by the way by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #40 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:30:24 AM EST
I really, REALLY need to remember to never call phone numbers posted by you anywhere when I'm at work.  Especially not with the speakerphone.

----

[ Parent ]
AH HAHAHAHAHAHA by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #41 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:31:52 AM EST
It would've helped if you had figured out what it spelled before you called it.

HTH


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
But if I did by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #42 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:34:03 AM EST
How would that be fun for you, me, or the guys in the office next door who can hear my phone?

----

[ Parent ]
Hopefully they liked the breathing by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #43 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:36:15 AM EST
if it's anything like it was the last time I called it like 4 years ago that is.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Well, I'm sure they did by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #45 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:39:07 AM EST
But I hung up when it says 'if you're under 18, hang up now', cause, you know, I'm like 12 on the inside

----

[ Parent ]
Babys having babys by sasquatchan (4.00 / 2) #46 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:08:08 PM EST
oh noes!!

[ Parent ]
plspstpix k thnx. by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 3) #47 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:23:48 PM EST

Oh, I mean, WONT SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN FUCKING EACH OTHER BLIND!

Whoah. How'd that get in there. . .

[ Parent ]
I am thinking of them by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #50 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:33:52 PM EST
I'm not telling you what I'm doing while I think of them though.


------------
"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
YOU NAUGHTY BOY! by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 1) #73 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 06:28:59 PM EST

I'm telling my mommy to tell your mommy to tell your daddy who probably already knows, BECAUSE HE'S DOING IT TOO! YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS SICK!

Then again, I'm the product of a guy who could fuck around behind his wife's back for years without anyone knowing it. So, you know, put that up your ass and smoke this.

[ Parent ]
and where have you been, fucker. by clock (4.00 / 2) #16 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:34:15 AM EST
that is all.

well... HUGS

...that is all.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

I've been here by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #21 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:37:22 AM EST
See reply to "Mr. Dreamer" up there for further details.

DRUGS NOT HUGS.

OKAY, ALSO HUGS!

NO! I SAID HUGS NOT COCK- LAGHLUAGHLAULHALUAHGLUAGHL!


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
And here I was worried. . . by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 2) #26 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:41:16 AM EST

clock would be the one to take the hug too far. . .

Nice to see reading your comments is just as dangerous as it ever was. Some things mellow with time. You, you get more bitter and acidic. In a good way, of course.

[ Parent ]
who's yer daddy? by clock (4.00 / 1) #32 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:50:35 AM EST
i'm pretty sure it's me.  or something.

i should stop by your neck of the woods on my way to the republic.  hmmm.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
By all means, I'd buy you a beer by MisterQueue (4.00 / 3) #35 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:54:36 AM EST
but prepare to be disappointed, as I, like Elvis have gotten full of myself and fat.

Oh and I shot a tv.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
shooting tvs is cool... by clock (4.00 / 2) #36 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:57:20 AM EST
...i totally need to get my conceal & carry thingy mo-bopper when i get down yonder.  totally badass.

yes.  beer is good.  sooooo goooood.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
at the place ? by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #37 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:04:23 AM EST
The hole in the tree in the park ? Behind the statue of Grant ? Under the brige ?

Certainly not at http://misterqueue.com/ ? (Been dead-ish a long time, no ? That's like the 4th intro I've seen, unless there's some deeper linkage I'm unawares of)..

Are you asking for access? by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #38 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 11:08:25 AM EST
I mean jeez.. what's a guy gotta do to keep his cabal secret these days.

Also if you've been paying enough attention to see most of the 6 different ones, you're a creepier stalker than I remember.

Good job that!


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Gag Order by El Pig (4.00 / 1) #48 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:28:03 PM EST
I've been informed that there is somewhat of a gag order on certain Q-childhood stories as told by longtime friends, and I'm sad to hear it. Whatever story SinTax could tell about you and your 2nd grade teacher during detention, my admiration for you would not diminish, sir. 

Now please to be approving the engaging tales!

_____________________________________________

Heh, I know not of engaging tales.... by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #49 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:33:20 PM EST
Humiliating ones however are another matter I'm certain.

No, there are certain things that should never be told..

The boy can tell what he likes, but I'll have his fucking head if he messes up my phermone advantage.


------------
"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
*sigh* It was worth a shot... by El Pig (4.00 / 1) #53 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:43:19 PM EST
And like everyone else reminiscing about the old days, I'll just reread Terpy's Q-Portland diaries. 

I can't decide which Terpy Portland diary is my favorite:  taking you to a sushi bar or you making Terpy buy an expensive kitchen appliance.

_____________________________________________

[ Parent ]
plspostlinksthx by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #54 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:45:57 PM EST
I vaguely remember those but really we all know you just like imagining Terpy and I in some sort of hideously gay relationship.

Which is pretty much how terpy liked to imagine it too come to think of it.


------------
"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
linkies by El Pig (4.00 / 1) #55 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 01:03:05 PM EST
Terpy Takes the Q to Sushi Bar

Terpy Makes Chili, Buys Expensive Can-Opener

I always admired the way Terpy was able to annoy you and still make out unscathed.

Anyway, I didn't think the assumed gay relationship was hideous; I thought it was endearing.  In fact I still think you should marry the fucker.

That reminds me, Terp, may have some compromising photos.

_____________________________________________

[ Parent ]
Ah, they were terpy's by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #57 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 01:26:01 PM EST
that's why I couldn't find them, I try not to read them because the spelling errors make my eyes bleed.

See, it might seem he got out unscathed, but I always won out.


------------
"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
You've forgotten the important bit by komet (4.00 / 5) #51 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:38:11 PM EST
are Minka's breasts supported under Linux?

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
I'm pretty sure by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #52 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 12:40:14 PM EST
that minka's breasts are hard to support under any medium.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
I want your lovechild by DullTrev (4.00 / 2) #56 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 01:21:54 PM EST

The sexy female one that is 23 now.


--
DFJ?
You're telling me by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #58 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 01:26:41 PM EST
that I conceived a child at the age of 4? HOLY SHIT!


------------
"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
You mean you never knew???!?!? by DullTrev (4.00 / 1) #59 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 02:04:39 PM EST

Don't you remember your favourite babysitter?


--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]
Um... my cousin Lisa? by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #60 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 02:49:38 PM EST
Ewww.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
COUSIN SEX! by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 4) #74 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 06:31:51 PM EST

H.O.T.!

See, this is why I've missed you. One diary and already we're covering paedophilia, cousin fucking and self-humping dogs. It doesn't get any better than that.

[ Parent ]
Sigged. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #82 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 02:26:18 AM EST
Well, it would be except for the fact that real people know me as ambrosen.

[ Parent ]
I have no tale regalia by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #61 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 03:06:01 PM EST
but I did see a sharp-looking suit of arms for a no-legged man. Darned if I know what to do with it, though. You?

--
I ate a hegel for breakfast. --mrgoat
Things without which, death. --ana
Hrm... by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #62 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 03:12:57 PM EST
Stick a sybian inside of it and offer rides to all the children in the neighborhood. "Ride the Legless Knight!" the sign would say. And the parents would pay... oh how they would pay.

Either that or I'd wear it to work on my last day.

"Hey boss, got a new job so I'm gonna jet... something about a grail or something. Hey do you know what chastity means?"

Meanwhile I'd be wearing no pants, my delectable genitalia waving in the wind.

See? Now don't you wish you hadn't asked?


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
I do so love to laugh at you... by BuggEye (4.00 / 1) #64 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 04:45:01 PM EST
..by which, of course, I mean, laugh with you.  The laughing is made easier by being able to visualize the situation so clearly.  I hope the next post will be a detailed accounting of the catfight that will, no doubt, erupt very soon. 

Catfight? by MisterQueue (2.00 / 0) #65 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 04:46:03 PM EST
Over me? Clearly you don't remember me all that well.


------------
"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
memories... by BuggEye (4.00 / 1) #85 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 06:47:54 AM EST
clearly, this is why I'm laughing... I'm sure it's the 'pheromones', and where high-powered masculine juices are involved, all bets are off.  Those poor girls can't help themselves.

[ Parent ]
Madam by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #86 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 07:27:46 AM EST
If you're implying I smell of semen... well I can only say that it wasn't me who sprayed your couch, it was terpy.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
AAAAAARRGH!!!!!!!! by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #87 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 09:12:35 AM EST
I SAT ON THAT COUCH. REPEATEDLY.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
and you didn't at least suspect? n/t by BuggEye (4.00 / 1) #88 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 09:41:44 AM EST


[ Parent ]
Yes, I did. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #89 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 10:28:16 AM EST
Terpia, in the Conservatory, with the Candlestick.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Technically by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #90 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 10:30:14 AM EST
it was a turbo 4000 multi-attachment vibratatron with studded metal tip, not a candlestick.

So, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
These 'pheromones' of yours ... by Canthros (4.00 / 2) #66 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:14:25 PM EST
How does one go about procuring such things. I^HA friend of mine might like to know.

--
I'm not here, man.


E-mail by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #67 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:15:50 PM EST
if you really need tips by this point. I would've thought you'd grown out of that by now. :P


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Women are a mystery by Canthros (4.00 / 1) #68 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:18:43 PM EST
But it seemed like a suitably oddball thing to ask.

--
I'm not here, man.


[ Parent ]
Women aren't a mystery by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #69 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:20:54 PM EST
they just require much more intricate coding to be amused than the gents usually. To put it in terms that you'd grok I suppose.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
How intricate are we talking here? by Canthros (4.00 / 2) #70 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:23:48 PM EST
Are there use case diagrams I could examine?

--
I'm not here, man.


[ Parent ]
Not any you'd understand NT by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #71 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:26:17 PM EST


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
Dang! by Canthros (4.00 / 1) #72 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:27:32 PM EST
I shall continue in ignorance.

--
I'm not here, man.


[ Parent ]
OMG BOOBS! by vorheesleatherface (4.00 / 1) #75 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 08:12:58 PM EST
nummy nummy nummy


Heh... by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #78 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 12:26:03 AM EST
not really. Vapid I tell you, VAPID.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
aw shucks [nt] by vorheesleatherface (4.00 / 1) #81 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 01:29:30 AM EST



[ Parent ]
areola? by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 2) #76 Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 10:53:32 PM EST
Isn't that, like, astrology?

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

No by MisterQueue (4.00 / 2) #79 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 12:26:52 AM EST
You're thinking of the Areola Borealis. It comes around once a month on Northern Nipples and causes men to weep with it's beauty.


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
so what was it? by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 2) #77 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 12:09:01 AM EST
come on, what's the magical serum that makes you delicious?
Send me to Austria!
Pancake Syrup (NT) by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #80 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 12:27:07 AM EST


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"I always percieved the Q to be more about laughing at sadness, not laughing per se." -infinitera

[ Parent ]
ooh by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #83 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 03:36:31 AM EST
arent you all sticky though?
Send me to Austria!
[ Parent ]
C | N -> K by zantispam (2.00 / 0) #84 Thu Feb 09, 2006 at 05:08:15 AM EST
Dammit.


Also, poke holes in yer meat with like a fork. -- blixco
[ Parent ]
Must Not Sleep, Must Warn Others | 90 comments (90 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback