Print Story Drivin' down the fast lane late one night
Diary
By Breaker (Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:22:50 AM EST) thieving chav scum, nanny state, BIG DOGS COCK (all tags)
I saw somethin' in my mirror comin up on the right
A fire red roadster pulled next to my ride, it was too dark to see the driver inside
I heard a voice though I couldn't see the face and it asked me if I wanted to race
Then he lit a cigarette and by the light I could see I was talkin' to the Devil, he was talkin' to me

Inside:
Cyborgs!
Beelzebub!
Guitar!
You fucking thieving chav scum!
Dirty C++!
Bookshops!



Attn- Bluetooth headset wearing infidels: wearing a headset walking down the street does not make you look like a cyborg, or mean that you are "e-walking".  It makes you look like a fucking twat at best, and when you're talking it looks like you're chatting to your imaginary friend. 

Oh, and using your mobile phone in public to play your "choons" is like, so 80's and back then we had proper ghetto blasters.  And people used to breakdance around them, something that takes skill and practice, instead of just dribbling all over the screen as your batteries run out.

I had cause to wear a hoodie top recently, and they're fucking ace.  Restricts your side vision so you're more easily mugged, and also blinds you to traffic.  If only more of the useless generation we're dragging up on the welfare teat would wear them.

Listen to this man.  Discuss below.  I'm sure he'll have something to say about under 11's having to be in car seats by law.  When will the madness of this nanny state end?  Will I be getting a personalised "lifestyle coach" that comes by my house at 10:30 each night to check I'm already in my jim-jams, I've brushed my teeth and making sure the lights are off by 11?  A personal conscience monitor that polices my dreams when I sleep?  A bottom inspector to make sure I've wiped properly?  And who the fuck is paying for this?  Ah yes, that'll be me.

Had another chat with CAB last night about the whole Oyster card thing.  She finally conceded that yes, a government having detailed logs of where you've been and at what time could be a potentially dangerous tool if the government wanted to abuse that trust, through negligence or deliberate targetting.  How long before unregistered cards are phased out?

Oh and stop bombarding me with anti smoking and anti drinking ads, on TV, on billboards, on the radio; what's next - voices straight into my head?  The stop smoking ones wind me up with their sanctimony to the point where I start to fancy starting smoking again, and the anti drinking ones just piss me off with their scare mongering "are you in control of yourself, bad things like rape and murder happen to people who've had a half a shandy, you know".

My guitar's got a new set of strings on and I did righteously RTFO last night.  Mmmm new strings.  No progress on any MFC entry so far, mostly because piano is too damned hard to fake on guitar.  Also noted that one of the channels on the ADC has stopped working.  Bugger.  Still, it's under warranty.

Once again, Helen Daniels has been cruelly assaulted, this time in the locked shed downstairs where I was forced to leave my bike by the fascist Residents Association.  So either it's an inside job or some fucktard left the door open and the estate monkeys took the opportunity.  Stolen: bike seat & post (again), rear mudguard (again), front and back light (again), crudcatcher (again), sum total of ~100 notes to replace them. 

Observant readers will note that this is the second fucking time in ~4 months that Ms Daniels has been cruelly abused.  And this time they smashed at my gear levers, gave the back wheel a good kicking (that's a Kryptonite lock, you fuckwits; it'll take about an hour and a hacksaw not your size nines and a run up) and it looks like they took a hammer to the handlebars.

Called the police: "Would you like a crime number, Sir?"
"No, I would like you to come around and start asking questions.  You know, like police do."
"I'm afraid we don't have the manpower to do that Sir"
"I bet you would if I didn't pay my council tax and I denied access to the bailiffs"
"I can't comment on that Sir"

If I catch any of the little fuckers in that shed there'll be a crime number alright.

Currently at work I am doing stuff in C++ again.  VS6.0 (don't ask), realtime data acquisition.  Verrry interesting but I really do have the been-there-done-that's on it.  Write a multithreaded realtime data interface that buffers input so it can be written in a readable format once, and you've written one a thousand times.

Off away on business this week again, and I am astounded by other divisions lickspittle work ethic yet again.  This isn't levelled at $SMCSH really, mostly the sales and management echelons that infest companies like lice.  So, when it's just me travelling, I'll leave after work so you get a full day's effort out of me before I travel.  Then I do a full day for the client, and travel home after that.  When you're tagging along we leave at lunchtime for the trip out and again on the trip back; "it's important to be fresh in front of the client".  Ah yes.

Attn- Bookshop owning infidels: if you notice that in one shop, you have been selling large tranches of a given authors work, do you not think it prudent to re-stock those that you've sold, and possibly order in other works by said author?  I mean, if someone's obviously buying up the entire back catalogue, they might like to complete the set.  Because if you make the customer request the order, they're just going to go to Amazon instead.  Also, unless someone's just walked out the door with the last copy, you should not have only books 3 and 4 in a series.

< let it snow, let it show, let it snow | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Drivin' down the fast lane late one night | 32 comments (32 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Unregisted Oyster Card by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:31:41 AM EST
That's what I've got and it works fine for weekly tickets. Thing is that they need to have unregisted ones as they seem to want to phase out paper tickets ASAP and a lot people still can only pay in cash.

I'm also thinking of getting an Irish passport once the stupid ID card thing comes out. You still need biometrics but at least all the data will be on the Irish db so much more of a pain in the arse for the wankers over here to get hold of.

chortle by Merekat (4.00 / 2) #4 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:50:15 AM EST
tee hee, yeah your privacy is so much more assured here.

[ Parent ]
Don't care about my privacy in Ireland by jump the ladder (4.00 / 3) #5 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:52:46 AM EST
I do think this offers a higher level of privacy whilst living in the UK.

[ Parent ]
Angry of Bermondsey writes by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:35:05 AM EST
WE'RE GOING TO HELL IN A HANDCART sorry couldn't resist

Is there anywhere indoors you can keep your bike? Get one of those racks so you can hang it on the wall in the PC room? Keeping it in a communal hallway isn't much safer than outdoors. I keep mine inside the flat.

"E-walking" - guffaw!

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

AND THE HANDCART by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:53:50 AM EST
HAS MY FUCKING BIKE LIGHTS ON IT!

Ah yes, protect my property by carrying it up 12 flights of stairs each day, fighting 2 firedoors that have rather tasty springs on them to hold them shut on the way. 

Or then again, the thieving little knobjockeys could keep their hands off my bike. 

Do you also subscribe to the "short skirt, she was asking for it" theory of acquitting rapists?


[ Parent ]
I dunno what the answer is then by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:59:34 AM EST
shout a bit louder about it and hope it stops?

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
I'm thinking of dispensing by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 06:07:20 AM EST
Vigilante justice on the estates behind my flat.

Crimes include:
Wearing Burberry
Or any sort of hoodie like apparel
Walking
Loitering
Breathing

Plus, I get to wear my Y fronts over my trousers.


[ Parent ]
Excellent. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 06:12:36 AM EST
I suggest you don't wear Burberry Y fronts over your trousers. You may disappear in a puff of logic.

Also, re: your sig, I'm just about to take my laptop to the bog with me, just to see if the police arrive.

[ Parent ]
Bluetooth Headsets: WTF by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 2) #3 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:42:01 AM EST

Why does every manufacturer of said products insist on making them look like little Hello Kitty Earrings? I'll get one when they make one that looks like a little earpiece, and not one second sooner. Besides, I like my curly-wired secret service-style earpiece.


-
You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
I thought they looked a little Borg like. by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:57:35 AM EST
Hence the cyborg reference.

How much effort is it to stop and hold a phone to your ear exactly? 

Your proposal of secret service earpieces frightens me; it's bad enough having tossers walking about thinking they're cyborgs, can you imagine what it'd be like having a load of people thinking they're like bloody James Bond when on the phone?


[ Parent ]
Why hold a phone up by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #26 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 03:25:55 AM EST
Those Bluetooth headsets mean that you're handsfree without any thought when driving.

You know you're getting old when you rant about the 'youf' of today.

(unlike me, see last diary).


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Tobacco and alchohol ads. by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 2) #11 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 06:21:23 AM EST

The anti-ness of the tobacco and alcohol ads really eats my shorts. Seriously, if I weren't allergic to smoke I'd have taken up smoking because of those anti-smoking ads we've had to tolerate over the past couple years. The annoying cunt teenagers prancing about New York with gawd-awful ideas like the signs pointing out various inadequacies that the tobacco companies supposedly exploit. Or even worse, the body-bag commercial. And they think they're making their point? If that's the way anti-smoking advocates act, I'd rather be a fucking smoker.

And I won't even bother with the alcohol ads. Other than to say, there's a reason I took up drinking a year and a half ago, and never did before.

Yo by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #12 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 06:30:37 AM EST
I came here from Google looking for an article on giant dog cocks and I can't seem to find that content. Can you advise?

Thanks!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

This is the POWAH of the interwebnet by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #18 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 08:23:08 AM EST
Whereas the tag is more of a reference to Rude Kid in Viz magazine. (You'll probably have to search that page for "dog" to get it).  HTH.


[ Parent ]
Nanny state represent! by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 06:57:52 AM EST
I hate sitting unbelted in a car (I even belt up between shutting the gates and driving up the drive to the house), and I hated it when I was a kid, but I had no choice, and I wasn't exactly going to be able to get my parents to get appropriate restraints just by my own pester power. So yes, I do think it's appropriate.

Also, being mildly involved in the book trade, I used to think it was just the obscure sector that I'm in that's peppered with the unprofessional and downright sluggardly, but I think it's probably all of it. That said, retail bookshops really should be able to send out special orders direct to the customer. As for Amazon, if a title's difficult to get hold of (i.e. the publisher is incompetent and doesn't fill orders for 6 months (and I'm thinking of a publisher which sells much more through us than through Amazon)), then Amazon are going to be much more likely to be the supplier who gets the order by promising to take 4 weeks to supply it then postponing than any other supplier, no matter how they try and appraise the customer of the true situation or attempt to put a positive spin on the delay.

And I think the police did the most cost effective thing with your taxes in the end. I was slightly surprised when they bothered to borrow a (crazy) neighbour's CCTV tapes to try and catch the bloke who walked into my house and took my mobile off the desk I'd just left to go and get a cup of tea.

Hmm by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #20 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 08:32:35 AM EST
You seem to forget that until 16, you are your parent's property.  They can do with you as they see fit.  Until Nanny State kicks in, of course.  Are you advocating emancipation from parents at the age of 11 then?

re: books - I didn't want to order them, I wanted them to have a decent stock control system that made a punt on what I'd buy next.  Say I have 12/15 or so books by a certain author, and these were all bought reasonably close together, sometimes in 2's and 3s.  You'd think that the shop that was getting that custom might ask their depot to send the remaining 3 books, would you not?

Re: police - please send me your local copper and you can have mine then.  Are you advocating I should do the same, and opt for the most tax effective path?  Because that is to not pay council tax and frequently of late I'm looking at what I'm paying and what I'm getting and it's not adding up.


[ Parent ]
Fair points all. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #22 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 08:47:57 AM EST
My first rejoinder is that given the despicably high death rate for children in cars (IIRC, they are at greater risk per mile travelled than adults), there is clearly a failure of parents to adequately ensure their children are as well protected as they are, so in effect, there is stochastic child abuse going on, which must be stopped. I wrote to the ASA once, to complain about a family car which was being advertised as the safest in its class, implying that it was to protect your children, despite the fact it was only average for child protection (and, my real beef, poor for pedestrian protection), but they failed to uphold the complaint, or, apparently, actually understand it.

Books: I've no idea how stock control systems work, but I reckon they're nothing like as good as Amazon in predicting what you'll buy next, and of course, it costs them a lot more to have a book in stock than it does for Amazon to put up a box suggesting you might like to buy something.

Police: Ironically, I was in a council tax exempt dwelling at the time (and not because I was a student or a minor). To be honest, I've not reported it when my bike got vandalised in a stairwell, and didn't expect much of an investigation the time it got nicked. I can't see any way to reduce the number of tossers doing this except the neighbourhood patrol, CCTV everywhere, slap an ASBO on everyone approach. Life sucks.

There's a good article in last week's Economist about the problems London faces in funding (mainly that there's no moderately wealthy people there), which I reckon have a lot to do with poor value for money from the councils.

[ Parent ]
I suggest by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #24 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 12:00:38 AM EST
Banning children from being transported in cars.  Under Bliar's government I'm sure this is just around the corner, with the proviso that important politicians can carry their own offspring in vehicles, for security reasons.

Books - fair point of the cost of carry I suppose.  Still, if the bookshop hottay is working there today I may approach her and seek to impress with my enormous Gemmell collection.

Police - bring back the bobby, and floggings.


[ Parent ]
Yeah, by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #27 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 05:13:59 AM EST
though ASBOs and community wardens are effectively the modern day equivalents of bobbies on the beat an floggings.

Oh, and I agree with all the prosecutions for going out and fighting on a Friday night.

That said, most of your diary seems to be shouting "I'm tired of London" at me.

[ Parent ]
He who is tired of London by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #28 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 05:30:28 AM EST
Is tired of life.

I'm not tired of London, I'm just fed up with the level of crime that seems to be "acceptable" these days.  And the level of tax I am paying for what I perceive as exceptionally poor service and facilities.

I greatly dislike the way that the government is being run, I dislike being oversold the supposed terrorist threat, I am horrified with the manipulation of institutions to ensure this government continues it's unfortunate reign, oh and did I mention I'm not happy with the tax I am paying? 

In short, I believe I am prematurely turning into Victor Meldrew.


[ Parent ]
Acceptable level of crime, by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #29 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 05:40:25 AM EST
I guess it has very much always been this way in cities. You want no crime, you move somewhere nice in the country with curtain twitchers, or with a nice protective mob like the Crays. Krays, whatever.

But yes, the government is doing nasty things, and is being the government in the traditional manner one has come to expect of governments, unfortunately.

[ Parent ]
Doesn't make it right by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #30 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 05:57:19 AM EST
That cities are more crime ridden than the sticks.  You'd have thought, more police for a larger population, eh?

REGIME CHANGE!


[ Parent ]
Well now you've gone and done it. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #31 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 06:01:52 AM EST
First you complain about the overreaction to "terrorism", then you plan to overthrow the government. You're just going to get us all in trouble, mmmkay.

You is watching Big Brother.

No, I mean Big Brother is watching you.

[ Parent ]
They sentenced me by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #32 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 06:09:41 AM EST
To twenty years of boredom,
For trying to change the system from within.

In 2012, Vote Breaker!


[ Parent ]
VS6.0 4 EVAR by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #14 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 07:23:58 AM EST
I only legally downloaded totally w4r3z3d VC 2k5 .NET Express on Saturday.  I do not like it.  The menus are... insubstantial.  It is fiddly, and it appears to give me little that VC 6 doesn't, except that it's required to compile the newer versions of DirectX, which are deliberately and spitefully broken not compatible with VC6.

I'm seriously thinking of just going back to VC6 and swapping over cl.exe and any libraries that I need.  That the .sln / .proj format has already changed once is a pretty clear sign that that's the way they're going to nobble us, which is why I like to keep a GNU/n make command line build handy as well.

Also, I like to hew my own processors from wood.  Thank you for bearing with me.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

IAWTP by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #16 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 07:43:24 AM EST
And seeing as our all MS Win32 platform code works fine compiling under VS6.0, and breaks horribly under any new compiler from MS, there's little impetus to move on up.

Re: .sln/.proj - I reckon XML is to blame somewhere.  Obviously, I haven't looked, but this is a clear opportunity for some coder at MS to go "whee, I done XML!".


[ Parent ]
XML is truly universal by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #17 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 08:16:44 AM EST
It can be used to screw up anything.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Hehehe! by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #19 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 08:27:33 AM EST
Ohhh that is so true it hurts.

Me: "I'll just use an ini file to store these 6 settings I need for this app"
Cow-orker: "Why not use the XML framework?"
Me: "Uhm OK." (thinks: All the cool kids are doing it, might as well give it a go)

1 day later the app's 25K bigger to accomodate the linking of the XML parser, the file is incomprehensible and has a whole load of useless crap littered in it that I can't turn off, and the serialisation of a list type containing basic strings only works when you write.

Time well spent, that.


[ Parent ]
You know what I like about the DirectX SDK? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #21 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 08:37:07 AM EST
The sample apps don't use some XML frippery, they don't even use the registry, they use the obsoleted INI file library functions to read their configuration.  That's pretty gutsy right there.

Conversely, this guy must die.  Now.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

[ Parent ]
Indeed by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #25 Wed Mar 01, 2006 at 12:02:35 AM EST
MS don't eat their own dogfood.

Why the hell would you want to abandon a simple ini and go for xml I do not know.  I think it unkinder to let that ini2xml chap live - whilst we're getting on with our ini files, he's still trying to work out why stringlists won't serialise...


[ Parent ]
Proper name for Bluetooth earpiece: by chuckles (4.00 / 2) #15 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 07:33:05 AM EST
Uhura

"The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin [...] would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities"
the TV ad for the motorola sunglasses/headset by clover kicker (4.00 / 1) #23 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 05:14:18 PM EST
features a swimsuit model, who goes from HOT to DORK the instant she puts on sunglasses with this gigantic box hanging off the side.

I'm damn ugly right now, I don't need sunglasses of -5 CHA.

Drivin' down the fast lane late one night | 32 comments (32 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback