- Thou shalt eat of the cow.
- Thou shalt eat of the pig
- Thou shalt eat of the chicken.
- Thou shalt eat of the turkey, but only around Thanksgiving and maybe occassionally lunchmeat.
- Thou shalt eat Alaskan White Cod, but only from Long John Silver's, because Captain D's is ghetto.
- Thou shalt not eat creepy things that crawl around on the bottom of the ocean and have eyeballs on stalks. The lobster, the shrimp, and the crab art forbidden.
- Thou shalt not eat slimy things that live in shells. The clam, the oyster, and the snail art forbidden.
- Thou shalt not eat green puky vegetables. The broccoli, the brussel sprouts, and the spinach art forbidden.
- Thou shalt gorge thyself on all deep-fried foodstuffs at every opportunity, excepting the forbidden.
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