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Attention Accident Victims:

By dr k (Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 02:33:14 PM EST) accidents, disaster, sarcasm, hyperbole, my shotgun weighs a ton (all tags)

Remember to apologize whenever you involve yourself in a serious accident.

"[Whittington] said he's sorry for what Cheney and his family have gone through."

Mr. Chales Manson
Corcoran State Prison
Corcoran, California

Dear Mr. Manson,

I am sorry you had to kill me. Please let me apologize for all the suffering I have made your family go through.

Sincerely,
Sharon Tate

The Real Killer
Address Unknown

To Whom It May Concern:

I am so deeply apologetic that you were compelled to murder Ronald and myself. I know you must feel unjustly persecuted, to the degree that you must keep your identity unknown at this time.

Yours Always,
Nicole Brown Simpson

To All Our Friends At Nasa -

We're sorry!

Rick, Bill, Mike, Ilan, Kalpana, Dave, and Laurel, the crew of the Space Shuttle Columbia.

< We're Insignificant, Baby | Epi who? >

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Attention Accident Victims: | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

Again I say: Meh by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 1) #1 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 02:58:54 PM EST

If you had accidentally hurt someone, wouldn't you feel bad? And if they turned out OK, wouldn't you appreciate an "it's OK--don't feel bad"?

Now if the victim apologized for having caused it, that would be messed up. But to express regret that the person who caused it has suffered some anguish...seems reasonable to me.

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Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline

well sure by dr k (2.00 / 0) #2 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 03:03:56 PM EST

but I wouldn't hold a press conference about it.

:| :| :| :| :|
[ Parent ]

I don't deny it's a PR move by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 03:06:21 PM EST

I'm just saying that it isn't as unreasonable as Manson's victims apologizing to him for dulling his knife.

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Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
[ Parent ]

Right by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 04:10:15 PM EST

Cheney has taken a pretty good arse-raping in the press for this, which, really, has to be a pretty hard thing for him. I mean think about it, if you shot your pal by accident and put him in the hospital and the press climbed all over your arse for it, well, QED.

Now, that said, it couldn't have happened to a more evil person, unless if happened to ol Bushy himself.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob
[ Parent ]

Uh... by NoMoreNicksLeft (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 05:34:04 PM EST

Why is it so implausible that it wasn't an accident?

Maybe he's doing everything he can to not grin and laugh about it.
--
Do not look directly into laser with remaining good eye.
[ Parent ]

: Old rich white guy from the south by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 1) #9 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 07:49:21 PM EST

Maybe Cheney accidentally shot him while sucking his dick.

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Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
[ Parent ]

really by tps12 (2.00 / 0) #10 Sat Feb 18, 2006 at 01:02:02 AM EST

As if seeing your own casual acquaintence peppered with teensy pellets before your very eyes wasn't enough, you're then assaulted by a trigger-happy press corps who won't respect the private business of a private citizen. Shameful.

[ Parent ]

Dear Hitler by theboz (4.00 / 2) #4 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 03:41:42 PM EST

Our bad. We'll let you get into art school next time.

Love,

The Jews.
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n

did you just compare by dr k (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 04:46:14 PM EST

Cheney to Hitler?

:| :| :| :| :|
[ Parent ]

Nope by theboz (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Feb 17, 2006 at 05:06:55 PM EST

He's more like Ghengis Khan.
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n
[ Parent ]

: dude by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #11 Sun Feb 19, 2006 at 06:57:31 AM EST

i so call "not it" on his burial squad.
Send me to Austria!
[ Parent ]

Attention Accident Victims: | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

-	Being rear-ended on the freeway	50%
-	Getting hit by a drunk driver	25%
-	Being shot by the Vice President	25%
-	Opening that personal email that was mistakenly sent "reply-all"	75%
-	WIPO	25%


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