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Diary
By Kellnerin (Tue Dec 19, 2006 at 12:30:50 PM EST) (all tags)
I had a Latin teacher in high school, who was also the head of the Foreign Language department, and taught French. Anyway, she had this cartoon she liked. The first frame showed two parents conferring in concern: "I wonder when she'll start to talk?"

Next frame: the kid in question, sitting on the floor. Thought bubble: "I'm afraid of making a grammatical error."



D GETS THE BEST SPAM. Two samples from today:

Sock manufacturers are using synthetic and natural materials, interwoven with myriads of different combinations and techniques of stitching to individualize their brands. I may bring them to my local Mexican restaurant, and ask the chef to use them when he prepares my meal.
and
Now you're in real trouble young man. Now add in another set of edges and two swords, I mean poles, per competitor and you got a lot of action to mix up. Put these into an equation with your weight, foot size, and leg size, and a good boot fitter can narrow down the best boot available to your price range. I have this book and it is very, very special.
It is probably a good thing that I do not get these spams.


BAD JOKE MY DAD used to tell, when I was taking Latin (have I told this before? Apologies -- again -- if I have):

Customer: Waiter, I'd like a glass of hock, please.
Waiter: Yes, sir.

time passes

Customer: Waiter, where's my wine?
Waiter: Wine, sir?
Customer: I ordered a glass of hock.
Waiter: Pardon?
Customer: Hock! Hock! I want a glass of hock. You know, hic, haec, hoc.
Waiter: Very good, sir.

time passes

Customer: Waiter, where's my wine?
Waiter: But you didn't order any wine.
Customer: I most certainly did!
Waiter: No, sir, you declined it.

Yes, too much setup for too little joke. Though it reminds me of the time I had dinner with a trilingual friend of my father's, and she informed us that she'd had to "recline two different invitations" in order to be there. I laughed, a little too loud, before I could stop myself.


ON SUNDAY AS I WAS running errands I drove past the local nursery/garden shop. It's a chain, that replaced an old family business that had burned down a couple of years ago and which, though it reopened, never quite recovered. Anyway, on Sunday there was a Santa standing out front, by the road. Behind/beside him were two wooden raindeer, with round log bodies propped up on thin branch legs, and thinner branch antlers sprouting from their log heads. From a distance he looked like a Salvation Army bell ringer with his kettle on a stand, only there's very little foot traffic there. It looked like he was just waving at the cars going by. I waved back.

On the way home, he was still there, but this time his gestures looked like he was directing traffic (not that it needed directing). Maybe I shouldn't have waved at him the first time.


THANKS FOR ALL the nonfiction reading suggestions from the previous diary. My list is long and eclectic now. Of course, I'm not reading any of the recommended volumes since in the process I also discovered a book of shortish (though related) essays that I forgot I had, and which'll mesh nicely with the fiction anthology I'm also reading. I'm not making much headway in either, though. Lately my head's been too much in the Web and in consumerism. Another few weeks or so, maybe.

< Humming Tom Waits. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Spam-of-Consciousness | 19 comments (19 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
All I can say is ... by BlueOregon (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Dec 19, 2006 at 01:54:46 PM EST
We address this letter to you hoping that it will help you select among the variety of online pharmacy stores.

As you know there are a lot of different online pharmacies all over the web and you can trust any of those. But we trust professionals only!

We did a national research and are pleased to recommend you #1 consumer rated pharmacy store from Canada with their Christmas offer:

20% Christmas Discount on Cialis + Viagra (10 pills + 10 pills) for extremely low price: $129.95

Where to begin? I'm fond of "pharmacy stores" -- you know, instead of the pharmacy gift shops, pharmacy museums, pharmacy libraries, schools, etc. Perhaps I should have said "and etc." The other day a student wrote "und usw" on an exam. I almost thought it was cute.

And "pleased to recommend you" -- sort of like pleased to meet you, either that or I would like to know to whom I am being recommended. It's nice to know that $129.95 is an extremely low price.

Your Latin joke for some reason reminded me of the Nietzsche Deli. You know the one, right? Home of the übersandwich and where gouda is dead.

woo woo by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Dec 19, 2006 at 03:03:45 PM EST
pleased to recommend you, won't you guess my name ...

Re: etc. I almost don't mind "and etc." but what drives me bananas is "ect." Those four characters, in that order, have the power to turn by brain inside out. Ow ow ow ... I'm going to have to close this window soon. I'll just say beforehand: Nietzsche Deli. Did not know that. Bad.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]
that joke by R343L (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Dec 19, 2006 at 02:25:24 PM EST
I stared and re-read and stared and re-read. I took a year of latin in college! I should be able to figure this out! Is it something to do with gender agreement? Is there something wrong with using hic-haec-hoc when referencing the contents of a glass?I always had troble with hic-haec-hoc. What is it?!?!? I can't post "I don't get teh joke. Please to assist?"

Then I finally got it, I really need to go back to school or crack open Wheelock...or just stop pretending I have any clue.

Rachael

(Spoilerized not because they give away the joke, but rather the opposite.)


"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

it is teh bad by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Dec 19, 2006 at 03:12:51 PM EST
I apologize for any time and effort you spent trying to "get" it. I took 6 years of Latin (junior high through high school), and I'm sure I haven't recovered. Really, there ought to be a support group for people who ever used Ecce Romani in class. *sits and mutters in a corner*

Ecce! In pictura est puella. Puella est Cornelia ...

Cave, Sexte! Muro instabilis est!

... oh, man, Ecce Romani is on Urban Dictionary! The Internet is so cool sometimes ...

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]
hey at least I can read that first line! by R343L (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Dec 19, 2006 at 05:34:57 PM EST
And actually remember one or two declension-forms (whatever they call things like ablative...)

But wow, six years! I'm sick -- I would have like that but my jr high and the high school I spent the most time at stuck with spanish-french-german. :(

Rachael

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

[ Parent ]
What's this then? by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Dec 19, 2006 at 06:18:03 PM EST
It's a good thing humans start to learn... by Bartleby (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 03:13:31 AM EST
their first language before they discover the concept of embarassment. Back in school, I was on a sort of advanced course (two of your subjects had to be "Leistungskurse"/"advanced courses", the rest were "basic") of French. We went on a school trip to France together with the maths people. Those among the latter who took "basic" French were generally less shy to talk than we were, I suppose because they didn't feel they had to get it all right.

I read that diary of yours and had a look at my book shelves, only to realise that almost all books I have there that aren't fiction are somehow related to fiction. Not much of a surprise, it just hadn't ever occured to me. Comics, literary analysis, linguistics, lots of dictionaries, and quite a few books on obscure areas of Finnish and East European history. (The German translation of) Bernd Heinrich's "Bumblebee Economics". That's actually a nice one. If you care about bumblebees.

you're lucky by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 05:51:03 AM EST
On this continent, our school trip was to Quebec (both the province and the city). Since French was only one of the official languages and we were obviously in the more touristy parts, looking a lot like Americans, there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity (or should I say need) to practice. But you're right about who's more likely to talk -- people like this guy (near the end of that entry -- I thought I'd told that story in a comment, but it wasn't).

Is there anything that you know about me that would lead you to think that I wouldn't want to read nonfiction about fiction? I think the main barrier, though, is that I don't speak (or read) as many languages as you, as well as you do.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]
"Is there anything..." by Bartleby (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 07:18:58 AM EST
No, not really. I carelessly and automatically extended the mention of non-fiction in your diary to meaning "something that has nothing to do with fiction", I suppose.

My selection, if you can even call it that, is biased toward a few Eastern European languages, mainly; firstly, because those were/are the languages/literatures I'm mostly dealing with and most interested in; secondly, because important books in "bigger" languages are generally easily accessible in the local libraries, so I don't have to buy them; and thirdly as a result from various trips to the respective countries. Low prices there and unreliable availability (and high cost) of book imports from there resulted in me buying lots of dead trees while travelling that I thought just might prove interesting or useful one day. Of course, much of my loot is just gathering dust, but you never know...

[ Parent ]
gathering dust by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 08:35:38 AM EST
I should set myself the project of going a whole year without acquiring any new books (because I surely have enough unread material already in my possession not to have to go looking for more), but I'm sure I would break. Also, I would cheat and go on a huge binge just beforehand.

Anyway, I probably can find more than enough books about books on my own, so subjects that are off my beaten paths are more interesting, but still. And I got a fiction recommendation from your own diary, so I'm content. Good luck with the Pynchon doorstop.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]
I can't ever by blixco (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 03:49:48 AM EST
get into discussion of language(s).  My abuses, you see.  I am forbidden by general convention.  Some sort of UN agreement.
---------------------------------
I accidentally had a conversation in italian at lunchtime. I don't speak italian. - Merekat
Now you're in real trouble young man. by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 05:54:21 AM EST
No, really, one of these days I should write a diary that's, like, actually about something.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]
Me too! by blixco (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 06:03:57 AM EST
In the meantime, ain't filler better'n naught?
---------------------------------
I accidentally had a conversation in italian at lunchtime. I don't speak italian. - Merekat
[ Parent ]
it is, it is by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 08:40:47 AM EST
As are comments and smaller chunks of something until the bigger thing comes. I'll keep doing this if you do. OK?

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]
I'll do my best! by blixco (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 09:38:17 AM EST

---------------------------------
I accidentally had a conversation in italian at lunchtime. I don't speak italian. - Merekat
[ Parent ]
NEVAR!!!! by johnny (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 05:07:21 PM EST


She has effectively checked out. She's an un-person of her own making. So it falls to me.--ad hoc (in the hole)
[ Parent ]
context by johnny (4.00 / 1) #17 Wed Dec 20, 2006 at 06:00:29 PM EST
"Nevar!" is in response to K's suggestion that she write a diary about something. I would much prefer that she always and everywhere stay focused on random effluvia and ephemeral fluff.  For that too is important stuff, and K. is the heavyweight champeen and still champion of that essential ontology.


She has effectively checked out. She's an un-person of her own making. So it falls to me.--ad hoc (in the hole)
[ Parent ]
OK ... by Kellnerin (4.00 / 3) #18 Thu Dec 21, 2006 at 05:30:45 AM EST
well, I'm making a macro that outputs the following:

<a href="http://www.hulver.com/scoop/comments/2006/12/19/173050/09/17#17">blame johnny</a>

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]
trilinguals by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #19 Wed Jan 03, 2007 at 09:43:40 AM EST
They make for the best malapropisms.  My friend's dad was in the US from Hungary by way of Finland, and her favorite story was the time where he raised a toast and happily said, "Up yours!"

(Of course, one can imagine all sorts of mis-re-translations of "Bottoms up!")

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

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