Print Story A Day in the Life
Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 03:53:25 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, mentor, mental, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
King of Pain

I was asked to mentor a new hire who's based in the Eastern European country of Bulgrohungria. As if my workload wasn't huge enough already, I gotta make time to hold someone else's hand while leading him down the path of knowledge in $MegaCorp support. Let's call him "Paul".

This mentoring shit's been going on for the past week and a half and today I rejoice. My job is already complete. I can teach him no more:

          Paul (09:24:52): I'm starting to get the feeling that some customers are in fact idiots

He's only been with us for eight days and he understands. He groks. I am so fucking good.

x-posted to da brog, sans poll



We hit it off from the start in IM and he learned there's someone in the company who will not only talk and write like a real person, he's got a great source for improving his English swearing vocabulary. He's young but seems pretty good. He also claims to have a nice FTP site. We shall see.

I've been working the poor bastard, too. He just started and he's already taking at least one ticket a day. He's willing to do the work and making me look good in doing so as well. He's getting sweeties right now but soon, very soon... I'm certain I can cut him loose inside two months rather than the normal six. I still won't get any fucking promotion next year.

But there's always bad news. I have to get up at 0-dark-thirty in the ante and fly halfway across the fucking planet in a week I really need to be home. Ten days on the Left Coast, five of which will be in accelerated workshops, mostly in areas I don't know or ever work in. Because the plane ticket was so expensive coming home over the weekend, I have to stay until the following week.

My manager -- Vera -- actually wants me to check out of the hotel I'm in and go somewhere cheaper after the workshops are all over. The office co-ordinator, however, is telling her to stick it. Maybe they'd pull shit like that at $BigCorp but this is $MegaCorp and since I'm already giving up my weekend to save the company a few thousand, I don't have to waste half a day changing hotels to save the company another hundred bucks.

Once I get back I get to spew these 90-minute workshops back out as full 4-hour presentations to spread the knowledge.

It's all the fault of the DHS. The guy who could've gone didn't, not only because he has a hot wife and a couple kids, but also because his passport's not machine-readable and he doesn't want to go through that fucking dehumanizing hell that is the U.S. Customs and Border Control experience. All of the oppressive shit that they've done, all the time they waste, all the privacy they violate, all the power games they play, all of the destroyed baggage items, all of the harmless items confiscated, and it hasn't made flying one iota safer.

Fuckwits.

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A Day in the Life | 12 comments (12 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
WIPO: Sprouts and tofu and other healthy stuff by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 04:07:42 AM EST
unless In and Out is in the Bay Area, too.


It took him 8 days to figure that out? by lm (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 04:21:39 AM EST
He's a little on the slow side.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
Ripa's been here almost 7 years. by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 05:13:45 AM EST
She's worse than most of the customers.

So far I've only been giving Paul simple stuff. A follow-up question to one of the tickets he answered today was his first glimpse into the idiocy behind the tickets. I've since given him a few of my old ticket numbers to look up in order to expose him to the general fuckwittedness he'll be facing. Screenshot photos. Stupid questions. Incompetence. Oh yes, he too will have a his-head-shaped-dent in front of his keyboard.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
I'd assumed by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #5 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 06:09:07 AM EST
That REC hadn't let him talk to a customer until day 7.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
While he wrote answers... by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 06:23:38 AM EST
...they were -- and continue to be -- (heavily) vetted. But once he owns a ticket I can't prevent him seeing a follow-up question and one came last night. He wrote that line this morning not three minutes after seeing the customer response. I have high hopes for Mini-Me.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Sadly by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 06:08:06 AM EST
You're too far north for real Mexican food. I guess the stuff that passes for it in the Bay Area is ok...
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
There's no such thing by lm (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 07:52:38 AM EST
... as being too far north for authentic Mexican food. Even in Ohio I know where to go to get a proper goat taco.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
heh by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 06:19:34 AM EST
We have some new hires too, but I'm not senior enough to be mentoring. I just answer some questions and get back to my own tickets.

What's a typical ticket load? 20-ish?

Re: grokking.. I had a ticket yesterday where the customer ran out of disk space. I told him how to recover from this state and continue providing search in his application. He didn't follow my instructions and escated the issue as "Severity 1" during the night. ZOMG DISK FULL!!!1111

/me works on the head-shaped dent.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

On the plus side by debacle (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 10:31:30 AM EST
You'll never have carpal tunnel issues.

How is a customer allowed to escalate thier own ticket?


IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
Ours call a VP by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 11:28:25 AM EST
and the VP calls our managers, or us.


[ Parent ]
Yep. by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 11:43:46 AM EST
That's how it works.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

[ Parent ]
I guess it must be a pretty crappy setup then by debacle (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 11:50:12 AM EST
Doing work for outside clients.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
A Day in the Life | 12 comments (12 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback