Print Story My WFC4 Post Morgam
By randomxs (Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 06:22:16 PM EST) (all tags)
I Failed It rather badly in the WFC4 contest. But the stories were fun to read and I had fun writing my two.

Just A Gigolo - This story was based around the lyrics of the song Just A Gigolo. The song was originally written in 1930s sometime and it has since been something of an American standard. The most recent popular recording of the song was David Lee Roth's version. You can view the original version of the video here on Youtube, if you like.

Anyway, The story is about the first time I got laid when I was still in high school, playing in a band and saw my first lover killed in an automobile accident.

The Shellacking was a story that happened a couple of years ago to me. I don't know why I posted it to the contest. I should have re-written it or edited it better. It wasn't that good at all.

Looking back on it, I should have listened to $some-advise-I-received and made them much more hardcore/pornographic. I might post some of those anyway in the HOLE.

It was a good contest with good entries and I enjoyed reading all of them, some I liked more than others. I actually fared better in the Photo Contest 1 but not by much.

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My WFC4 Post Morgam | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
lol yours were good compared to mine.. by dakini (2.00 / 0) #1 Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 06:31:00 PM EST
i enjoyed the gigalo very much..but the other one kinda hung out there somehow..i hated mine, but..i really didnt know what kind of stories was expected..when one says is to wide open..maybe a bit more clear of what was wanted would have middle of the road?? porno?? nice sex stories?? lol..

What I said by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 06:47:50 PM EST
From the original announcement:  "What am I looking for?  Stories about the aftermath of sex, the meaning of sex, what the desire for sex makes us do.  About how to talk about sex, or not.  About not having sex."

I wasn't looking for porn.  I can find that elsewhere.

-- Do the math.

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ok :) by dakini (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 06:49:46 PM EST

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(Comment Deleted) by debacle (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 06:41:52 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by debacle

Okay, so: by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Nov 07, 2006 at 06:57:19 PM EST
What threw me on the gigolo story was that I was fucked if I found the connection to the lyrics of the song.  I would have been better disposed toward it if I'd seen the title connect to the story.  Also, I had to read the ending twice to figure out what happened.  More porno would not have helped, for me.  See comment to dakini, below.

As for the Shellacking, it stayed closer to erotica because I got no sense at all of the narrator's response to the whole thing.  Is he an asshole who doesn't care what happens after?  Is he happy and amused that the boyfriend caught them?  Was he turned on at all?  No context.  No meaning.  It was competently written, but I didn't care.

Two things that happened, both of which left me not caring.  Why?  Did you stay too close to the source, making it reportage?  Go beyond that, and take those real life things and use them not as things of themselves, but to say whatever it is you want to say.  They are tools in your toolbox, but the point of a tool is what you do with it.  Rarely do people say, "Ooh, cool screwdriver."  They care about what you make with it.

Thus endeth the unasked-for sermon.

-- Do the math.

IAWTP by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Nov 08, 2006 at 04:43:14 AM EST
I couldn't figure out how "Just a Gigolo", the song, was related to "Just a Gigolo," the story, except for being quoted in it. The bookends of the car crash didn't quite link up, either ... the weird detachment of the narration of the accident makes the emotional connection kind of weak. It seems like it happened years after the rest of the story, but I can't quite tell. Instead they seem to be two things that happened to one person (Marie) but I'm not sure why they were presented the way they were.

I had a feeling "Shellacking" was yours (randomxs, that is). Just wasn't my thing. It makes for a good anecdote but as a short story I wasn't quite sure what it was "about." In that sense, I think it might have worked better with a more overtly conversational tone, like you're sitting at a bar and happen to say, "Did I ever tell you about the time ..."

"If we build it, will they come, and what will they do when they get here?" -- iGrrrl

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My WFC4 Post Morgam | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback