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Breakups
By misslake (Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 06:41:33 AM EST) (all tags)
when does this start to get easier?

it does, sometime -right?

and she cries and weeps and stomps and pouts and sulks. defend, defensive.
this is she. i crashed. got sick. slept for hours untill they were a whole day.

and he avoids, pulls nearer, draws away further, sulks, stomps, and acts confident. defend, defensive.
that's he, soemtimes he seems like a stranger. sometimes he seems finally to have become comprehensible to me again.

we hurt each other in the same old wounds.
we connect and respect and assist and want only happiness for each other.
we have flashes of understanding.

e calls to us.
we each love her, and fear hurting her too.



so i aquired another old prom dress to add to my brand new elegant devorcee/miss havisham wardrobe.

we try to be so good and considerate of one another. why the fuck do we still end up hurting.

renovation tea party is a bit too much for me to coordinate. any help with my room and my new situation will be thankfully and happily accepted by drop in only.

come over maybe sunday night. or monday after i am done work, 4:30-ish.
i need shelves, a new light fixture, a small chest of drawers (wooden preferred) hugs, cheering up and maybe another prom dress.

oh, and there is a huge horrendous heap of cast offs and recycling:
sorry, drums not included in this giveaway.




yep, my old clothing, KT's old clothing, MissTrish's old clothing, old clothing left by former tenants and now forgotten, books, keepsakes, coats, shoes, dishes, acessories, and all miscellany.

it's got to get out of the house, it needs to be sorted and sold and given to new homes, and new wardrobes, organised and taken care of.

want anything? for sale or free... come and get it.
i need money to pay for my trip to europe.
the house needs bill money, the household needs booze and affection.

how do we keep from hurting each other more?
how do we keep from hurting our beloved e?
how do we heal up these wounds and repair the damages?
how do we get this house back into a functional shape after the great shawshack shuffle?

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heartache, free posessions giveaway, love, hurt, etc. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I'm no expert, by garlic (4.00 / 1) #1 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 06:51:06 AM EST
but I know if I was living with the person who just broke up with me, I'd have a much harder time dealing with it as if we could still be friends.


i have been counting my blessings by misslake (2.00 / 0) #12 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 05:38:27 PM EST
so very fortunate.
i can take small comfort in knowing that we aren't petty, or mean people.

i know all my sutff will remain safe in my room, intact and unfucked with. i trust that even if the idea of cutting a tiny hole in the left big toe of each of my socks, deliberately arguing over ownership of object we once posessed, or spilling gossip over embarassing moments might cross our minds in moments of white hot emotions, neither of us would indulge in any of it.

the occasional vigourous cursing of the other's past and present foibles and offenses is to be expected. bitching and venting too. out of earshot.

i mean, seriously: that jerkface TURNED ME DOWN SO COLD FOR PROM IN GRADE 12! that was like 1996-ish. so harsh. then he dumps me in 2006. :(

yep. still being friends is such a force of habit such a reflexive part of me. and i think it became part of him too. it's hard to remember we're on the outs in moments of autopilot when our resistance is low.


[ Parent ]
Hurt by aethucyn (2.00 / 0) #2 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 07:09:49 AM EST
we try to be so good and considerate of one another. why the fuck do we still end up hurting.

Pain is the price of loving. Those who think that they can get away without paying will be charged double. Staying friends is a good goal, and I've managed it a few times, failed at it a couple, and haven't even bothered to try elsewhere. But it takes time and seperation to figure it out. It takes saying things you'd probably regret, but hopefully not to the person who'd cause you to regret it most.

it does stop by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #3 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 07:49:49 AM EST
and it doesnt...there will almost always be things that make you feel it, but after awhile you can start to live again. it'll come.
---------
Dance On, Gir!
tell me what i need to hear, by misslake (4.00 / 1) #13 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 05:53:32 PM EST
tell me what i already know.

tell me because you know i can't make myself believe in it on my own. not tonight.

say it again, tell me untill it starts to come true.

you are like a little treasure piece of a friend for me. special, unique, some shiny bit saved in a cherished place. no mere trinket nor thing saved only for only practical function or banal use.
my emotions are running maybe too turbulent for clear written expression. sparkly. neat.

[ Parent ]
snuggles and love, dear by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #18 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 08:21:58 PM EST
you'll be alright. hearts take time, but you'll be alright.
---------
Dance On, Gir!
[ Parent ]
It feels like eternity... by Metatone (2.00 / 0) #4 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 08:15:36 AM EST
but it hasn't been. <insert further cliches here> Hang in there.

I'll second garlic that one of you needs to get out of the house for a week or two. It will help stop that burning pain every time you see each other's face.


i encourage all forms of assistance by misslake (4.00 / 1) #14 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 06:08:15 PM EST
cliche still valued as representing your indirectly  expressed beneficial and supportive emotions.

thanks. if such a week comes your hospitality will be of great practical use, and it reinforces me in sprit to have you offer.

[ Parent ]
I'm afraid that your loving by muchagecko (4.00 / 2) #5 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 09:23:35 AM EST
demeanor is dragging out the pain of the break-up.

There's got to be a way you can get out and away for a while. Wanna make a long trip to Seattle?

I wish I was close enough to help.

The only people to get even with are those that have helped you.

six-day work week, general poverty, etc by misslake (4.00 / 1) #10 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 05:18:06 PM EST
i'm working six days a week untill christmas. yay for a warm fall, and the ground still thawed. yay floral design contract at the garden centre! yay extra work when i need it most!

but it means i can't really escape this city untill jesus b-day, and then there is the e complication, the family horrorshow obligations, then i escape to montreal for the new year, then it's my birthday.

if christmas haunikka, festive sprit etc. gets  cancelled, or if we get snowed in tomorrow, i'll take you up on your offer. or maybe in the new year, pre-europe holiday husi couch surfing usa.

i've never been to the west coast. it woudl be neat.

[ Parent ]
I'll call with my new number. by muchagecko (2.00 / 0) #16 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 06:45:51 PM EST
Just in case.

The only people to get even with are those that have helped you.
[ Parent ]
*hugs* by ana (4.00 / 1) #6 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 09:52:51 AM EST
Nuthin much to say, just hugses.

Our spare room is still open, if you need it.

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

arms akimbo, embraceable. by misslake (4.00 / 1) #15 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 06:38:35 PM EST
not clearly knowing what i need most,
i will take you up on the hugs first,
and i feel less afraid, more capable of figuring out what this self needs knowing i have a spot for sanctuary with you.

[ Parent ]
#HUG# Time heals all and all that... by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #7 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 01:58:04 PM EST
I know, tell me to fuck off about the time heals.

And muchagecko is right.

I *HEART* ALL YOUR PLATITUDES!! by misslake (4.00 / 2) #9 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 04:51:06 PM EST
your homilies, your proverbs, your household wisdoms, your sayings, your nursurey rhymes, epigrams, maxims and your cliches.

HUSI! i can really feel all that sweet n' saucy loving through all the awkwardness of language, all the tired phrases, and all passionate attempts at making the same words seem more salient.

[ Parent ]
Well then here's a big hot sloppy passionate kiss by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #11 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 05:30:04 PM EST
for you too.

[ Parent ]
well, I tried . . . by slozo (4.00 / 6) #8 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 04:45:23 PM EST
. . .to get you out last week, but instead you stayed there, around the guy who broke up with you. bad move, I think . . . don't know if you got the phone message, though.

You can't seriously think staying there (both of you, at least) will make it easy in any sense of the word . . . one must leave. I disagree with the whole "a week" thing, as well - only a permanent move will do, seperating physically as well. A face and voice reminds us of what we can't have any more, no matter what we know in our heads . . .

Hell, the house in general had a great run. Memories will always be pleasant . . . but change is constant, and fighting it only causes more pain . .. .

got your message tuesday by misslake (4.00 / 1) #17 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 07:57:47 PM EST
i caught a cold and slept mostly sat - thursday.

better now.

seriously considering your counsel tonight.

hard to discern at this point what is some bad, mostly bad, all bad, the total worst, the kinda ok, the fine and the practical, the easy, the right the good the better and the best.
it's all in disarray.

we no longer bare our teeth and snarl, circling our hasty new boundaries like small territorial mammals, making aggressive displays at one another, nipping at heels and bickering over scraps. much less uncomfortable.
i'm at "ok then now what?"

i have only hazy ideas of what i need or want or what to measure it by. i want to hear about your advice,
maybe you can stop by sunday- day monday-eve and give me your take on this.

changes are apparent, no longer struggling against it, i'm now kinda drifiting, checking it out, trying to figure out what is changing and how. 

[ Parent ]
hmmm . . . maybe, I could . . . by slozo (2.00 / 0) #19 Sat Nov 25, 2006 at 08:46:09 PM EST
. . . come by Sunday, possible. I'd have to wake up around 10 or 11 am, and that might happen naturally. Trained to waken at 5:20am now, the reflexes of the subconcious act of their own volition to wake me early. So . . . yeah, I'll swing by on Sunday. What's a good time?

(BTW - you posted 40 minutes in the future, somehow. Time travel . . . cool!)

[ Parent ]
+99 insightful by clover kicker (4.00 / 3) #20 Sun Nov 26, 2006 at 03:42:49 PM EST
Living in the same house, you're ripping each other's scabs off several times a day. That ain't healthy for either one of you.

It makes me very sad to write this, but you must realize that you have already entered a new chapter in your life.

Staying in that house won't turn back the clock.

Good luck, kid.

[ Parent ]
heartache, free posessions giveaway, love, hurt, etc. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback