Print Story I think something died in my desk drawer
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 06:25:05 AM EST) Jimmy Hoffa, WD40, Victory is finally mine (all tags)
The B.A.D.TM

Picking nits since 1977...

Really. It's starting to smell pretty funky, funky in a dead varmint sort of way. My desk drawer that is. I'm afraid to look for fear of what I'll find in there, yet I'm going to be compelled to take action fairly soon as the rate of stink is growing logarithmically.

Should I wait until after lunch? What are the odds that some dead human carcass is jammed under my employee manual? Finding that would likely put quite the damper on my lunch appetite, so I'm leaning towards waiting until after I'm fed, but that would mean I would be filled with stuff to throw-up, if it turns out to be a maggot-infested rotting corpse of Jimmy Hoffa or something like that.

On a related note, I scored my first fantasy football victory last weekend! I'm on the comeback trail and back in 8th place, a win this week could catapult me right into 4th or 5th place, God Willing.

Despite my crushing Fantasy Football victory the heat knob on my 86 Escort seems to still be stuck at the half-way point. I took some needle-nose pliers to it this morning and she won't budge beyond half way. My next plan is to take some WD40 and spray about half a can into the knob, then try again. I'm not sure I want to go all Winter with just luke-warm air coming out of the vents, as it gets right cold round these parts, nor do I want to spend $29,453 to have some mechanic guy take apart the dash to fix it. Seems to me they could design those things better WRT getting access to them. Or maybe you go in through the hood? Hmmm, I'll have to look at it. There may be some hope after all.

The foul odour is still wafting out of my drawer, and I have an hour before lunch. Hmmmmm. I'm thinking maybe I should just buck up and be an adult about the whole thing and call the network guy to come up and have a look at it. He's an earthy kinda guy and has probably dealt with lots of dead bodies over the course of his career. Alright then.

Update [2006-10-5 13:45:59 by Bob Abooey]: - The smell has gone away, magically, but I'm going to clean out my drawer anyways. I will, for the first time in the history of the Internet, document the stuff I throw away.

  • One google map to some campground in PA
  • An vitamin bottle that had sugar in it for tea. The sugar is hard like a brick and as such has no value.
  • A Zzounds catalog
  • A bottle of white out. White out??? White out for fucks sake. 1970 just called, they want their office supplies back.
  • A picture taken of me at my last birthday party at work. I was having a bad hair day.
  • A birthday card and envelope from said birthday.
  • A Christmas card from last Christmas.
  • A pay stub from sept of 2005.
  • A birthday card from TWO years ago.
  • A printout of all the notes on the guitar fretboard.
  • Three more Christmas cards from fuck knows when.
  • A three page document on voting in the 2004 election.
  • A stick-it note that read "Burn burn burn"
  • A SubWay menu
  • A paper welcoming me to Prudential Healthcare.
  • A Getting started with Windows 98 book. You can guess how long that's been in there.
  • 5 super balls. They start to decompose after 6 or 7 years.
  • Two floppy discs.
  • < News at 6 | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
    I think something died in my desk drawer | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
    I have a mediocre heater on my Tercel by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 06:33:33 AM EST
    when you get used to the heating/cooling available on an American car (from freezing to baking), you get spoiled. But, given that the Japs (and Yerpians) live in mild temperate climes, it's understandable they wouldn't build cars suitable for driving when the temp is weeks below freezing.

    I bought an electrically heated fleece seat cover ($4 at the Goodwill) and it makes quite a difference on those nippy morning. Now, I've already procreated, so I don't mind my nuts getting overheated and irradiated, but if you're still entertaining spawning, you might not want to go that route.

    Good luck with that slacking network guy. I find treating the IT people like deliquent children really keeps them on their toes.

    maybe the networking guy by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 06:54:54 AM EST
    can give Bob a hand with his knob too!

    [ Parent ]
    That's what the Jergens hand lotion's for... by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #6 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 07:58:32 AM EST

    [ Parent ]
    Hmmm by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 08:03:29 AM EST
    I could get some kinda space heater and run it off the cigarette lighter! I'll bet they make those, I'll have to do some googling this afternoon.

    Warmest regards,
    --Your best pal Bob

    [ Parent ]
    I had one of those... by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 08:41:18 AM EST
    for my Honda Civic whose heat died and whose window wouldn't roll all the way up. Perhaps they've improved the technology in the last 5 years, but the one I found (and it was the only one I could find) really sucked ass. Not only was the heat emitted minimal, but it also blew approximately 0.5 fuses per week. My advice is to find one that costs more than $10.99.
    The amount of suck that you can put up with can be mind-boggling, but it only really hits you when it then ceases to suck. -- Kellnerin
    [ Parent ]
    Possible Solution by superdiva (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 06:50:39 AM EST
    Get a large garbage bag.  Pull the drawer out entirely and dump everything in the bag.  You then might be able to see what was decomposing with minimal contact.

    Also, you used Jergens Hand Lotion with "whack".

    /insipid giggling


    Better solution by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 07:24:12 AM EST

    Earth First!
    (We can strip mine the rest later.)

    [ Parent ]
    Nuke from tactical orbit by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 07:58:10 AM EST
    Only way to be sure.

    [ Parent ]
    maggot infested ? by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 09:15:01 AM EST
    wow.. bring out the wayback machine!! Like 1999.

    Heater ? Geeze, bob. A resourceful guy like you should know a good hat would do just as well. Assuming the Rehabe Center provides you with garage parking. If not, what kind of fool parks his car outside when it gets below zero ? You deserve a frozen snotcicle for that.

    That's by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 09:32:36 AM EST

    Warmest regards,
    --Your best pal Bob

    [ Parent ]
    We park our cars outside year round by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 09:40:46 AM EST
    the garage is unheated, behind a fence, chimenea, grill and playhouse, and is for more important things, like bicycles, tools, motorcycles, lawn chairs, garbage pickin's, furniture to refinish, ladders and wading pools.

    [ Parent ]
    Yeah by Cwis (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 10:06:00 AM EST
    And mine has five motorbikes in.

    Hmm - I may have a problem with motorbikes.

    [ Parent ]
    I know I have a problem with motorbikes by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #14 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 10:15:09 AM EST
    I spend so much of my little freetime fixing up the Kawasaki I don't have time to work on the Honda. When will those kds be raised?

    [ Parent ]
    Same here by skippy (2.00 / 0) #15 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 10:55:39 AM EST
    except that our garage currently contains extra drywall, a few tools, ladders, some appliances that need to be sold, two bales of hay, and a whole lotta cardboard that needs to be recycled.

    Maybe next year (when we redo the garage and the deck above the garage), it will then be cleaned out so that I can park the car in it, thus preventing the Tree Of Sappiness from dripping sap all over it every goddamned day.

    [ Parent ]
    wipo by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 10:01:41 AM EST

    Two floppy disks? by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #16 Thu Oct 05, 2006 at 01:46:33 PM EST
    What size?  

    Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
    The one true size by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #17 Fri Oct 06, 2006 at 05:54:34 AM EST
    3 1/2.

    We do have some 5 1/4's in the old manufacturing room if I ever feel the need to go back to the 80's.

    Warmest regards,
    --Your best pal Bob

    [ Parent ]
    3.5"? by jimgon (2.00 / 0) #18 Fri Oct 06, 2006 at 08:19:10 AM EST
    There's a state agency that takes statistical reporting on 3.5 disks.  They don't do FTP.  They do 3.5 floppies.

    Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
    [ Parent ]
    I applaud their security savvy by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #19 Fri Oct 06, 2006 at 08:26:19 AM EST
    The 3.5 floppy was un-hackable.

    Warmest regards,
    --Your best pal Bob

    [ Parent ]
    Absolutely so by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #20 Fri Oct 06, 2006 at 08:28:27 AM EST
    350 bytes of numbers in a signle record.  You have to know the format in order to decipher it.  Half the time you can't decipher it even if you have the format.

    Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
    [ Parent ]
    I think something died in my desk drawer | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback