Print Story But will it run on Linux
By gazbo (Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 01:45:24 AM EST) (all tags)
Oh my.  As some of you will be aware, Hans Reiser of ReiserFS fame has been arrested for the murder of his wife.  So far, so much troll-bait.  But even more glorious is the Slashdot coverage:
"While the disappearance (and possible murder) of his wife is tragic, Linux users will wonder where this will leave Reiser 4. If Reiser is found guilty, will Novell or IBM pick up the pieces and finish up Reiser 4 for inclusion in the kernel or is this the end of the Reiser filesystem project?

Inside: Idiocy!  Gazbo's guide to humour!  Spam!


Got in this morning with the boss panicking that our web server was down, and citing all sorts of evidence to support this fact.  I turned on my computer, and noticed it failed to log into messenger.  My relief was palpable - fuck his evidence; the probability that both the office connection was down AND the web server was down was too small to consider.

So I went about trying to diagnose our problem.  After tracing things through for a good 30-40 minutes (why is the firewall dropping these packets - is that correct behaviour?), I finally discovered the problem: the boss had dropped some stuff onto the gateway's network cable, ripping it out of the wall.

That man is the epitome of clumsy sometimes.  Lessons learnt:

  1. When he says the server is down, it could mean just about anything (actually, I already knew this).
  2. No cause is too simple to go unnoticed.
The definitive guide to humour:

Things which are always hilarious:

  • Covertly providing a running commentary on somebody's actions, culminating in the phrase "Abort, $name, abort!"
  • A punchline that consists entirely of puns (minimum of 3)
  • A long meandering lead-in that results in an extremely sub-par punchline, unbefitting to the 5 minutes expended on the set-up.  This is funniest a) if you're drunk, b) if you're the one telling it and c) if you're sure you will never want to have sex with anyone present.
  • Any joke with the punchline "A wonky"
  • Pun-based jokes that fit so cleanly, naturally and unexpectedly that they are a beauty to behold.
  • Pun-based jokes that have to be so ridiculously contrived and long-winded in order to support the punchline that you begin to wonder how the writer summoned the tenacity to complete all necessary aspects of the set-up.
Things which are always shit:
  • Pun-based jokes that are somewhere in the middle.  They're just shit.
  • Jokes ostensibly targeted to your profession, but where closer examination reveals it works just as well when told about firemen, poets, or seal-clubbers.
  • Girls trying to tell a joke where the names, order of words or events is important to the punchline.  (amiright fellas etc).
  • Jokes involving current political events.  Especially when told by flagrantly homosexual comedians whose sexuality is clearly orthogonal to the situation in hand, and yet somehow seems as though they find it significant.
  • Lists of "20 signs that..." where there are only two or three good ideas which the creators mistakenly felt would be better expanded with 17-18 fillers.  And that self-referential one at the end is neither unexpected nor funny.  Please note that this diary is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

I remain happy to receive spam, as long as it follows the example of the most recent message, originating from a sender named "Ernest Marrow"

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But will it run on Linux | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Cable knocked out of socket by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 01:50:12 AM EST
Happens all the time here as well, but do I learn?

It's political correctness gone mad!

That's why you always do a Post Mortem by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:21:20 AM EST
And record problem resolutions in your knowledge base, with causes listed from the most common to the least.

[ Parent ]
Y'know, I started to do that by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:25:45 AM EST
For software installation/configuration issues, after struggling for hours to solve a problem that eventually turned out to have a one-line fix in a config file.

Then I got bored.

I think I still have the KB spreadsheet somewhere, with that one issue in it.  Fortunately, if I ever do need to find the solution to that one issue, it will be easy to find due to the sort/search/categorising system I built into it.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
post mortem? by martingale (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 04:13:09 AM EST
<discworld>THE CHECK IS IN THE MAIL</discworld>
$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]
easy by Merekat (4.00 / 4) #3 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:22:19 AM EST
staple the offending cable to your forehead.

[ Parent ]
What do you call a 3-legged donkey? by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:31:57 AM EST
Yes, I see your point.

Wild green hairy lip-squid.

I think I'm definitely with you on this one.

Slashdot says:

CuntFS: Score 0
by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 11, @09:35AM (#16390183)
They can rename it to CuntFS after his wife.

C'mon, you know she must have been a huge cunt if he murdered her. Cunty cunt cunty
[ Reply to This ]

I think that says quite a lot.

Oh my by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:37:58 AM EST
That is possibly the best Slashdot comment I have read in years.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Hanz sneezed and bombed the daisies by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:45:25 AM EST
It's a long way to tip a rare E.

[ Parent ]
Here's to the beer that made Milt Fabie walk us! by ReallyEvilCanine (1.00 / 1) #10 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 03:21:34 AM EST
I just want to play along. I always manage to miss the cool memes.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
also very funny by alprazolam (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 03:02:19 AM EST
Dixon Cider

Usually I get told that 'the internet is down' by priestess (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 03:20:12 AM EST
Which if true would be very unlikely to be my fault or something I could do anything about. Still, today he says "My email is broken again" and nearly makes me hang up the phone to deal with it even though I'm actually on the phone to the ISP who host our servers to ask 'em what's up and when it's going to be fixed.

Course, that was nearly two hours ago when they said it'd just be another 15 minutes. Hey ho. I should probably try and find some work I can do that doesn't involve the servers but unforunately the software with the tasklists on it is on those servers too.

More web-surfing it is then.

Chat to the virtual me...

I liked the comments better... by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #11 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 03:25:47 AM EST
"Will he still be able code from prison?"
"Will ReiserFS go the same way as OJSimpsonFS?"

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
It's a Nik-Nak, Paddy Whack by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #12 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 03:34:49 AM EST
Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone.

Now Hans (that does dishes) can be as soft as Gervais, with wild green hairy lip squid.

Hans & Gervais - my favourite by Herring (4.00 / 1) #22 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 10:12:49 AM EST
Following close behind:
  • It's easy, I'm an ex-tractor fan
  • You can't marry him, he's a commentator
  • The one I'm going to remember just after I hit "post"

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
i think it's the second to last 'always hilarious' by tps12 (4.00 / 2) #14 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 04:20:19 AM EST
If not, then your list needs revising, because "what's brown and sticky?" is the world's greatest joke.

I think it falls under that category by gazbo (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 05:05:09 AM EST
But rest assured if it didn't, I would make a new rule in the blink of an eye.

I can't believe I forgot that joke existed - almost as glorious as "a wonky".

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Wait, let me get this straight... by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 3) #16 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 05:27:11 AM EST

There was a lunix developer who was married? How'd that even happen?

You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl. by komet (4.00 / 3) #17 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 05:36:20 AM EST
Even if you meet a Russian woman through normal channels (travelling and natural sex appeal), everyone will think you purchased her anyway, so why bother?

<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
That's why I went with these five Polish women by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #18 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 05:45:50 AM EST

Who'd ever figure out I ordered them from an online catalog? They're not Russian, they're Polish, after all!

You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
More to the point by gazbo (4.00 / 3) #19 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 06:19:10 AM EST
I thought that Bruce Willis had already killed him?

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
Lousy journalism by ucblockhead (4.00 / 2) #20 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 07:20:02 AM EST
You know, the local paper put this on their front page and yet they didn't once mention that this was the author of ReiserFS! What's up with that!?!?
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
I blame Microsoft and Apple by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #21 Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 07:22:52 AM EST
they're conspiring to deprive computer users of the knowledge of alternative OSes.

[ Parent ]
But will it run on Linux | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback