Puppy in a sandal, kitten in a sandal.

Apparently, it's FRIGGIN' IDIOT WEEK here at work.

Yesterday, ${newBigBoss} actually asked me this question:

idiot: Mohammed, what's the URL for the test bank again?

Motherfucker, what do you mean "again"? You've worked here for six months, and you're just now asking me what the fucking URL for the test bank is? And what the fuck do you mean "the URL for the test bank"? If what you want is the URL for the externally visible test bank webserver, then that's what you ask for. The test bank is an array of machines, only two of which are visible to the outside world, and, as such, they have no UNIVERSAL RESOURCE LOCATION. But, back to the point, the entire division for which you are allegedly responsible for managing uses the test bank to test new code[*], which is eventually deployed on the live site, and six of these deployments have happened since you've been LORD ALMIGHTY, and yet, until now, you've not even gone so far as to check the site where we test our code?

Damn.

Then ${coworkerWho'sJobItIsToTestSaidCode} asked me what the http access password was. It changed over a month ago. Double++ WTF? You mean you haven't done your fucking job for a month, and you expect me to help? Good luck with that.

At least it's motherfucking Friday, y'all. Get your swerve on. I think it may be payday, too, but I can't be sure. Not without making a phone call to the bank to find out.

Fresh, Succulent Office Puppy!

I am dogsitting in the office today for fresh baby puppy, Lil' Miss B. She's an adorable couple-month-old Rottweiler, and she is totally my furry little buddy, spending her time chewing on a 2-liter soda bottle or walking around with her big furry paws, lookin' cute. It is difficult to snap pictures of her, as she wants to lick the camera when it gets anywhere near her, but I've taken a few snapshots that I'll upload once I get back home, as I left the USB cable for the camera back home.

Sooooooooooooo cute!

Man, I totally don't even feel like writing this, as I've got a big baby puppy sitting on my lap, chewing on my ear. OK, she's off to chew on her chewbone now.

On Loathing the Self

My friend Tom lives in a Puerto Rican neighborhood in Chicago, west of Western Avenue, and east of Humboldt Park. Economically, the area used to be pretty shitty, but more and more people are buying up run-down 3-flats and renovating them, then either moving in, or selling them off. The neighborhood also has a mild reputation for gang violence, which is decreasing as money pours in, and, as such, police patrols increase.

While I was visiting Tom, we were headed back from the Loop to his apartment, and he started talking about how rich, white yuppies were gentrifying his neighborhood, and the "local culture" was dying. Pretty soon, he expected, Spanish would be the second language in the area, rather than the first, and the neighborhood was on it's way to certain death, as more and more white people moved into the 'hood.

Tom is white. While he lacks the career motivation to be considered a "yuppie", he's still white. To any strawman Puerto Rican Neighborhood Advocate, he's part of the problem, not the exception to the rule. Naturally, he doesn't see it that way; it's the rich (and by "rich", I mean "able to afford buying a home") white people who are the problem. Now, he's a left-leaning caucazoid, so the appeals to class warfare are predictable enough, but down in the trenches, the "poor" are divided, and heavily so in Chicago.

After he went on his tirade of how "white people suck, except [him]", I pointed out that one of the more disgusting things about Chicago is how racially and ethnically divided it is, and how ethnic diversity is exactly what Chicago neighborhoods need, rather than the opposite of it.

"I see what you're saying... I hadn't thought of it that way."

Yeah, well that's why I make the big bucks, yo.

It's flippant, but true; so much of the slacker anti-yuppie sentiment is just plain playa-hatin', and self-hatred, based on cultural reinforcement of class war ideology and good, old sociological guilt. FREE YOUR MIND, AND YOUR ASS WILL FOLLOW. Dare to love yourself. Or, at the bare minimum, dare not to hold yourself responsible, personally, for the oppression committed by distant ancestors.

Stein is an intellectual lightweight. His political view seems to be the same shallow tripe that newly-hatched college grads tote around when they're convinced they have the world figured out at age 21. He has zero notion of what is required to run an effective, or even useful, military. He thinks Kosovo was a swell idea.

Fucking Nerds.

This should come as no surprise to anyone who's visited this. Also, someone please to be telling Markos ZUNIGA what is, and is not, acceptable use of the term "hacker". Oh, fuck it. Retards and their false assumptions; not soon parted.

I am NEXT...

In a long line of monsters to occupy the White House. You people will weep while curled in the fetal position, longing for the days of Wine and Roses that are the Bush administration's term(s) once I start rounding up 95% of the population for what I'm going to call "Operation: International Downsizing".

Which means a friend of mine in DC has organized a fundraising lunch I must attend, legally, even if no one else shows up, in order to fully utilize the campaign tax shelter.

Heh.

Being the half of the political spectrum that values education, intellect and art, we progressives tend to have more resources at our disposal than our pocketbooks.

They are resources the right will never be able to match.

Followed with this brilliant project idea. You don't have to click on the link, really. The URL says it all. Basically, some Democrats are apparently tired of having to actually think for themselves when they read the news.

I swear to god, the next motherfucker to use the phrase "wingnut" or "talking point" in my arm's reach is getting a rectal exam from me, free o' charge. You're welcome, the world.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's PUPPYTIME! I'm going to go lay on the floor and let her lick my face. Don't even think about trying to stop me.

[*] - Note that this is the suggested method of operation. We actually test shit by just taking it live, then waiting til users complain, as prescribed by Allah.