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Star Wars
By MohammedNiyalSayeed (Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:19:48 AM EST) (all tags)

It's the feeling a sniper gets when he shoots someone. And also, we also gettin' a tan.



A thing to watch.

Darth Vader's skillz.

Haute Cuisine.

So we had a company lunch yesterday at Restaurant Savannah (note to self: sell restaurant people website design with some functionality for modest price. Do not accept food as payment.), which describes itself as providing a "fine Southern dining experience". Further note to self: grits, even at a cloth-napkin joint, and at 25 bucks on the menu when coupled with "shrimp" and "mushroom ragout", are bland and only marginally edible. The food was poor people food, served at rich people prices, all served to a clientele which is decidedly neither of those classes. Perhaps there is some novelty to selling fried catfish with a vinaigrette dressing, or maybe people aren't that retarded. If I wanted country fried steak, I'd go to that gas station at the exit of US37 off of I-465, on the south side of Indianapolis, and I'd pay 3.99 for all I could eat of the shit, and it'd taste 10x better, as the chefs did nothing to remove the fat and spice that make it taste 10x better, and that'd be that. I do not need a dude in a tuxedo serving it to me. That's a frill for which I'd rather not pay, when the food is so mediocre to begin with.

Modern Elevator Music.

St. Etienne makes me feel like I'm in a mall, riding a fucking escalator, so I'm going to abandon my "whatever RANDOM brings me, I shall listen to" rule for the afternoon, and press skip on this motherfucker. Give it to me baby! By Rick James. Now that's what I'm talking about.

It is a Good Day for Enemies.

Oh, and I recorded ${newBigBoss} backpeddling his way out of why, exactly, my raise wasn't in my paycheck. If we're calling it a "raise" still. THANKS FOR THE PODCAST INTERVIEW, MOTHERFUCKER! Now I need to do some serious noise filtering on the microcassette recording. That should be fun. Turns out that microcassette recordings in rooms full of computers (to the tune of, say, 30 or so machines) are kinda noisy. Who knew? It's still discernable, though, without filtering, so it shouldn't be much more than an exercise in bandwidth filtering with a narrow, human-voice-centric spectral range and it'll be ready for prime time.

Note to !self: Don't promise me something, then not delivery it. If you're going to do it, though, don't give me a lengthy, pregnant pause before you basically tell me you're still working on it, and definitely don't fucking thank me for bringing the subject up. It's offensive, and it smells like weakness, which will earn you a place on the Short List. The one that I refer to every six months, even when you're not my boss anymore, until the end of time. Or you end up in jail. Either/or.

RANDOM brings me another stunning gem I didn't even know I had.

L. L. Cool J At L L Cool J's B'Day Lan, Philly 1987: Jesus. H. Christ. The studio ruined that dude.

This Week In Puppies.

Tech Decision-making Crap.

Also, I want a BlackBerry 8700c. I think. Actually, I can't decide which one I like. Why must there be so many? I want a full keyboard. I want good battery life. I want an SSH client. And I want a phone with speakerphone ability, so I don't have to hold the goddamn thing with my neck while I type when coworkers call me. DECISIONS! DECISIONS! However, at least there are some options for BlackBerry/Mac utility now.

This Week In Heat.

It is January 13th, 2006, and it is 68 degrees outside. I have shorts on, and my window open. I'm almost tempted to turn on the air conditioning. If we hit 70, I will.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Suddenly, I'm wondering where the drop bears, Fosters, boomerangs, and kangaroos are.

The more I think about it, I think it isn't so much global warming, but rather a simple inversion of seasons. Change is good? Why must everyone be so conservative when it comes to the environment?

Also, I need to move north.

Whoa.

Oh, I remembered what I was going to say earlier; at company lunch, I was saying I wouldn't bother installing Garageband 3 until it was free. Well, it's free. For me, at least. And it's 45% uploaded.

< Got my mouth lookin something like a disco ball | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Recoil. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Thanks for bringing up that raise by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:28:48 AM EST
if our Q4 projections of 200% increase in sales meet our actual results, I think we can get it to you.

Thanks!


Apparently I missed the comedy gold by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #2 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:31:13 AM EST

that was the retelling of "what happened" with the recently resigned co-founder from his board position at the tail end of the conference call, which contradicted the version told by said ex-board member, who is on good speaking terms for going on 10+ years with my coworkers. Oh well, I was busy GETTIN' WASTED!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
It should be okay, inflation will be half this yea by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:42:20 AM EST
what it was in 2005, or at least our COLA's will be half.


[ Parent ]
COLA: by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #10 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 01:34:10 PM EST

Haven't got one in over five years. Hard to believe I'd leave a dreamjob like this one!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
at the factory job by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:40:06 AM EST
that I worked off and on during college, they had a quarterly bonus plan that was based on the throughput of the factory. There were three levels, with more throughput meaning more money. One night we calculated the theoretical throughput of the factory if all the assembly stations were manned 24/7 at 100% capacity with no breaks, downtime due to equipment failures, etc. The top bonus level was at 200% of theoretical output. The bottom level would have been manageable with heroic effort from everyone in the plant. I think they typically gave everyone some token bonus of 40 bucks a quarter or something when they never quite met the goals.

Noam Chomsky: Well, forget about the hippies and so on and so forth.

[ Parent ]
as someone by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:33:05 AM EST
who prefers murdered fish flesh to any other kind of murdered animal flesh, I would never spend more than fifty cents on any kind of catfish dinner. I've eaten many underwater lifeforms and I must say catfish is by far the most disgusting.

Noam Chomsky: Well, forget about the hippies and so on and so forth.

There were tails of a six foot catfish by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 2) #4 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 11:36:33 AM EST

that once swam the waters of Lake Shafer, in the middle of mid-north Indiana. I spent a couple summers on that lake, and I wouldn't dip my hand in it's waters. I would, however, pilot a boat, because you don't get too wet, and giant, scum-sucking, whiskered catfish can't attack you there.

However, the Land Catfish is pretty cute.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
I hear tell. . . by Awakened Dreamer (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 06:07:57 PM EST

Out Africa way there's a species of cat fish that grows to eight feet. Be sure not to swim in those waters. Catfish that big could probably suck down a cow whole.

[ Parent ]
I've not read the rest ofy our diar yyrt, by hulver (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 12:17:14 PM EST
But that vader video rocks.
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Cheese is not a hat. - clock
I've now red tahe rest of tehe diareie by hulver (4.00 / 3) #8 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 12:19:38 PM EST
and it does nea rock as much as htat vader vie.

Just sayin.
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Cheese is not a hat. - clock

+1, Contains Hulver Hitting the Sauce by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 01:34:04 PM EST

And I know, I know. I blew the proverbial diarial load early on this one. I should have saved Vader for the last paragraph.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
What the fuck? by Awakened Dreamer (4.00 / 1) #12 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 06:03:39 PM EST

I get drunk as shit, and I spell better. Hulver drinks and types like my grandfather on a bad day. If we met while drunk, would the world implode?

[ Parent ]
I don't spell bad by hulver (4.00 / 1) #14 Sat Jan 14, 2006 at 08:30:20 AM EST
I just hit too many keys, and I hit them in the wrong order. :)
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Cheese is not a hat. - clock
[ Parent ]
Ha ha! by Awakened Dreamer (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Jan 13, 2006 at 06:02:24 PM EST

RE: Vader. So, when you went looking for video of people having lightsaber duels it led you there too huh? That's one of the first things that came up the first time I went looking for duels. Pretty damn awesome stuff.

RE: Raise. Same story, different person. My version this year, same as every year, is some rigamarole about how we're holding out for the prospect of better percentages if we wait until budgetary concerns have been ironed out. In other words, "We don't want you to get your bonus calculated on your new rate, so just go ahead and wait another four months past the deadline, then we'll deliver less than half of what we promised anyway and tell you that's the risk you took in allowing us the option of a research cycle. As if your opinion on the matter was ever considered. Bend over, and have a nice day."

I forgot to ask. Which one you got coming? Vader I'd assume, because that's what everyone wants first. But I'll ask just in case I'm wrong. (Pimp saber is the shiznit boyeee! Smooth handle that makes swishy-swishing easy as pie, and the switch isn't A) easy to hit, and B) easy to cut your damn finger off on. Not that the others are bad per-se, but if you're insane already, . . Well, I'll let you discover for yourself.)

Grits by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #15 Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 12:48:32 AM EST
What are grits exactly?

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It's political correctness gone mad!

Grits are like softer, mushier polenta by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #17 Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 08:44:46 AM EST

or like cream of wheat.

Southerners swear that if you put enough butter and salt on them, they're delicious. I maintain that if you put enough butter and salt on them, they taste like butter and salt.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Polenta is a bit grim by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #19 Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 12:01:04 AM EST
There's a crap Italian restaurant near me that does Polenta balls in tomato sauce. Apart from looking like a plate of giant baked beans, which let's face it is pretty cool, it was one of the worst meals I've ever had.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
St. Etienne aren't that bad by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #16 Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 01:48:22 AM EST
Preferable to Groove Armada. I think GA are an existential experiment to see who will claim they like stuff that is as dull as humanly possible, but is 'trendy'.

I only have one 23 second Groove Armada by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #18 Mon Jan 16, 2006 at 08:48:55 AM EST

cut in my library, and, having just given it a quick 23 second listen, I must say, it was pretty dull. It was, however, only 23 seconds long, so, empirically, St. Etienne still seems more boring, but only because 9 minutes offers more time in which to get bored.

Both remind me of disco versions of Stereolab, which isn't saying much.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Grrove Armada did one ok song by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #20 Tue Jan 17, 2006 at 12:33:03 AM EST
I see you baby. On the back of that, they have sold loads of albums of their usual aural wallpaper.

[ Parent ]
Recoil. | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback