Print Story Awesome Elements of "Attack of the Clones"
Star Wars
By tps12 (Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 05:54:42 AM EST) Star Wars, Attack of the Clones, coliseum, monsters (all tags)
Element 5


Release the monsters!

The coliseum is sort of a stock device. Overwhelming odds, thousands of bloodthirsty fans, Bad Guys watching from luxurious shaded box seats...it's hard not to root for the heroes, even while you're wishing the filmmaker could have chosen a slightly more original way of rallying his audience's support.

What's weird about this coliseum scene, though, is that it belongs to the wrong side. The movie is all about the collapse of a once-great galaxy-wide Republic: they should be the ones sliding into decadence with their bloodsport and public executions. Instead, it's the upstart separatists who have somehow come up with this. What kind of insurgency can even construct a coliseum, let alone capture, feed, and train the monsters for use in disposing of the odd POW?

Props to G-Lu for using a stock scene where it makes zero sense. That qualifies as an Awesome Element if anything does. The monsters are also sort of funny.

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Awesome Elements of "Attack of the Clones" | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Are they separatists? by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:02:22 AM EST
I've never followed the plot of any of the SW movies more than marginally, but aren't the Bad Guys just taking over at the top? The uncaring populace is allowing evil to be done by doing nothing. Colisea are the opiate of the masses. G-Lu is making a profound political statement, not a terribly written movie.

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Yes, it's more of a coup than a revolution by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:14:35 AM EST
or collapse. I suppose one can call it a collapse of nerve or integrity or caring on the part of the Jedi, but as far as a Galactic government collapsing, it has a long, long, long way to go before mirroring Trantor's collapse.


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/me searchs for 'Star's End' by DesiredUsername (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:18:36 AM EST


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but a circle has no end. [nt] by monkeymind (2.00 / 0) #17 Thu Jun 09, 2005 at 09:51:56 PM EST


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hard to say by tps12 (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:20:14 AM EST
You have a point, in that the whole separatist movement is being orchestrated by Palpatine so that he can sieze control of the Republic. But OTOH, nobody is really clued into this. IIRC, even Count Dooku doesn't know what Darth Sidious is really up to.

But yeah, the implication in the movie is that the coliseum spectators are fervent separatists, celebrating the execution of their military opponents in the Republic (a Senator and two Jedi). Not opiate stuff at all.

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The illogic of this scene by spacejack (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:26:37 AM EST
kinda pales in comparison to the fact that the galaxy could've avoided being enslaved by an evil empire if the Jedi hadn't been so cheap and just paid the chump change to buy Anakin's mother. But I guess all the petty cash had gone towards creating that clone army.

and why are the Jedi's defending the hideous by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:31:26 AM EST
institution of Slavery? What sort of warped moral code do they have to rationalize that? If I were Anakin, I'd be hunting them all down too, even the younglings.


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You are infinitely correct by debacle (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:54:36 AM EST
And I believe in fairies.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

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well by tps12 (2.00 / 0) #10 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:59:15 AM EST
That's more ironic than illogical. And also, hadn't Shmee already had her freedom purchased at the time of her kidnaping?

Not that the plot is exactly watertight, but just saying...

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Shmee? by TurboThy (2.00 / 0) #14 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 08:03:34 AM EST
Isn't that Captain Hook's sidekick? WTF is he doing in AotC?
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oops, Shmi by tps12 (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 08:06:21 AM EST
Though your question, WTF is x doing in Star Wars, rightly applies to any number of major and minor characters.

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And cast. by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 08:49:52 AM EST
Including Lucas.
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Mmmmm. by Lost In A Dream (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:34:54 AM EST

Natalie Portman in ripped up white spandex chained to a pillar of stone. (HA HA Double entendre.)

Which brings me back to one of my original questions about the movie. How much ice was required to keep her nipples hard in the middle of a desert?

On a somewhat more serious note: I did like that the coliseum looked like an almost naturally occurring rock formation that just happened to get used by people looking for some (evil) entertainment.

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. . .What you want in a marriage is, something like that town in Pennsylvania that's built over a burning seam of coal.". -- ti dave

heh by tps12 (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 06:41:58 AM EST
Barely a single entendre, if you ask me.

I'd forgotten about the nipples. Strange directorial choice.

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Oh come on. by Lost In A Dream (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 07:03:18 AM EST

Like you wouldn't want Natalie chained up to your stone pillar. So to speak.

And we KNOW why her nipples were hardened. It's because a young Lucas needed an internship doing something. And hey, if you were George's son, what would you ask to do? "Yeah, dad, I'll be the guy in charge of the ice needed to keep Miss Portman looking um, perky."

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. . .What you want in a marriage is, something like that town in Pennsylvania that's built over a burning seam of coal.". -- ti dave

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Feh. Where are the grits? Eh? by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #12 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 07:09:44 AM EST
WHERE ARE THE HOT GRITS!?!

And no, they're not down my pants.

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Maybe they're down her pants. by Lost In A Dream (2.00 / 0) #13 Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 07:21:03 AM EST

Which brings up all SORTS of other thoughts.

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. . .What you want in a marriage is, something like that town in Pennsylvania that's built over a burning seam of coal.". -- ti dave

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Awesome Elements of "Attack of the Clones" | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback