Despite previous reports, I haven't actually broken my foot. What happened was, after having sprained my ankle, someone at work at gave me an elastic bandage that I was supposed to wear like a sock, folded double. And so I did, but what I hadn't realize is that you have to wear this thing all the way to the knee, which I didn't. When I was in A&E I was in real pain and the ankle was well swollen, that's why I assumed it was broken. When I went to see the doctor, he told me to stand on it. I say I possibly couldn't. "Just take off the bandage and try it." And guess what? I took off the bandage and immediately felt better. In fact I could stand on it alright. "You can walk better than me!" said the doctor.
And yes, I did feel like a right wally.
So you want to move to London, huh?
It wasn't broken, but it still hurt and I couldn't walk very fast, so I went to work with my stick on Wednesday. The stick was more from protecting me from angry commuters than anything, because in London if you get in the way you just get tossed aside like a discarded packet of cheese and onion crisps. And it is a time of crisis like that you realize what a bunch of cunts most Londoners are. There I was, a cripple hobbling along with a walking stick, and nobody offered me their fucking seat. And what's worse, they didn't offer me a seat because they were too fucking represseed and couldn't handle talking to a stranger. I felt like I had gained some kind of superpower - every time I made eye contact with someone, suddenly they became very tired, and
closed their eye and pretended to fall asleep nodded off.
Spineless insects, that's what they are. It is at times like this than one wishes nine eleven had happened in London, rather than NYC. I got the arse and as I got off the train I walked through the carriage and stuck my NHS walking stick on a couple of commuters feet. Hopefully they'll need a walking stick now, and they'll see what it's like.
A strong sense of community
Last night's pub sesh was very short, then went to this art exhibition in Bermondsey. Now, if London was a woman, then Bermondsey would definitively be her rectum. Despite all efforts:
Hailed as "the new Hoxton", Bermondsey is one of London's trendiest areas. With Bermondsey Street at its heart, the area blends history with modernity and a strong sense of community with all the attributes of a thriving inner-city zone..
Which can be translated as: Hailed as "the new Hoxton"=the area is a dump, but we hope we can convince Guardian readers to settle there and drive the white trash out, so that we can make make massive profits
"all the attributes of a thriving inner-city zone" = for god's sake don't work alone late at night if you are not white
"blends history with modernity and a strong sense of community" = BNP stronghold (just like Hoxton used to be before it became trendy).
The exhibition was 'interesting', but the artists were nice and friendly, so we went for a drink together afterwards.
_-|There's this nice pub around the corner, a pub for REAL LOCALS. It's so cute!|
.o( Oh fuck )
And so we went. It was the kind of pub which you'd normally avoid like the plague. Everybody inside was male, shaven headed and covered with tatoos. A couple of guys with pitbulls were blocking the entrance to the toilet. The bar staff ignored anyone who didn't look arian. My mate went for a slash, one of the pitbulls owners followed him to the toilet, stood next to him by the urinals and hemmed in against the wall as he was pissing. A guy at sitting at the bar kept on staring at me while repeatedly punching the palm of his hand.
The ladies enjoying every minute of it, talking to the locals and making friends with them. The guys were absolutely petrified. We stayed until last orders, then thankfull we left. We passed another pub, it had a sign saying Shalom on it. - probably bait. One of the girls said "If you are in the area avoid that pub, it's a dodgy BNP pub"
I'd hate to think what THAT would be like
It all got a bit messy from there
Back to civilization, we decided to go on a bit of a bender. Sadly all the usual late drinking places were closed, and even the 24 shop wouldn't sell us booze because the police had installed CCTV inside the shop to film them. Can you believe it? Ended up going back to my local park were we drunk a couple of cans of wife beater I had knocking about in the fridge.
Not feeling too clever this morning.
I'm off to Hamburg today, home of, believe it or not, Hamburgers. I am pretty familiar with the place but haven't been there for a while. Has anyone got any tips on nice bars or things to do? Please don't tell me to visit the Reeperbahn
Motion: would the HuSi user experience benefit from the introduction of an 'Art' icon?
What with Snaily's museums reviews, and other people's occasional art diaries, perhaps the time has now come for an art icon. Or maybe not, I actually have icons switched off so I wouldn't know.
That would be all
Clicking submit, and to hell with it.
I hope reading this diary has given you as much joy as writing has given me. May the day bring you good fortune and happiness.
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