The HuSi, She Is Stocking
Between soft-confirms, no-confirms, cancellations and sudden silences, the bottom line is that we basically have only the vaguest idea how many of you are going to show up.
We will just have to cope as best we can.
Decentralization is key, of course. In a slightly more ideal world (where we'd made more money this winter) we would provide for the greater share of your needs -- all food, all drink, all hotness, all shelter, all water -- but in the desert of the real I think the rule of thumb should be to make sure your own ass is covered insofar as is possible (sleeping apparatus, life-saving allergy medications, change of underwear) and then we'll all delight in filling in the gaps (beer, burgers, drinking water, mustard, land, et al.).
If you have a portable grill, please do bring it. In order to avoid bottlenecks at eating time we're trying to have as many sources of food-oriented hotness as possible. At the time of this writing we have not yet devised a grill for the bonfire-pit. So bring on the fire, if you gots!
I have become Hank Hill, for the first time in my life obsessed with the condition of my lawn. "It needs to be nice for camping!" I cry, picking out stones and watering the yellow bits (watering the grass! Me! Jesus Murphy Brown -- what next? Buying an SUV?) so they stay green and soft. Old Oak is planting fresh seed everywhere, to minimize the dusty bald patches that lend that white trash je ne sais quoi to the compound.
In that same spirit we have also carted away a bunch of scrap metal junk, and Old Oak even towed away the dead yard truck that's been slowly sinking into the grass in the back since the snow melted. We're gussying up right proper.
We have explained the whole premise to Mademoiselle J. She seems to get the gist of it, though she may think we are regrettably unSwiss in our cavalier dedication to unfettered playtime.
Some notes:
* A convenience store is located conveniently right nextdoor to our house, right by the big sign that advertises (falsely) HAR WARF! There you can buy tobacco, candy, porno magazines, or anything else you may need.
* Liquor stores and grocery stores are located within 10 minutes by car, in case you have special dietary needs, are especially picky, or wish to self-supply for some other reason.
* We will have a herbalist on premises. Reasonable rates, good results.
* Our giant dogs are now fenced inside their own run, so people who aren't fond of pony-sized pets may relax in peace.
* There is one small corner of the yard which will be clearly marked, in which thou shalt not trod without shoes. If you chose not to wear shoes within this designed area you assume all risk for any injuries you may and probably will sustain due to exposed scrap metal buried in the ground. Again, this area will be clearly marked.
* After much edifying discussion with our local liquor control authorities, we have determined that attempting to pay for kegs of beer in a decentralized fashion is illegal. Therefore, we will ask that you pay for beers by chucking the $2 into a basket which will be set clearly apart from the kegs, and labelled Save Ferris!
* There may or may not be a fishing trip available. Old Oak is outside swearing at his boat's motor right now. We'll see how it all pans out.
* If you have music you want played, bring it!
* If you have anything else you think you could contribute (banners, mics, grounded extension cords, fireworks, gasoline, fire-wood, network apparatus, silly hats, an effigy, copies of your own books or albums to sell or share, whatever), please do!
* We have a piano and a guitar. I think somebody needs to bring drums.
* Internet connection is 0.8 Mbps up, 5.0 Mbps down. We have accumulated two wireless routers. I plan to stick one of them on the end of a very long Ethernet cable, in order to get it as close to the backyard as possible. This is what they call network engineering when you're a dumb-ass artist. I'm open to better suggestions.
* If you have a crisis on the road or something, the number here is 1-705-456-9001. Long distance charges may apply and your call may be monitored for quality control and training purposes.
Driving to the Schoolhouse
We are located in the village of Gilford in the town of Innisfil in the county of Simcoe in the province of Ontario. We live just shy of the western coast of Lake Simcoe, by Cook's Bay. This is approximately 70 kilometers north of the Toronto city-centre.
Via 404
The 404 freeway runs north from the TransCanada/401 east-west freeway on the eastern end of Toronto. From downtown the 404 can be reached via the Don Valley Parkway.
The 400 freeway runs north from the TransCanada/401 east-west freeway on the western end of Toronto.
If you're not a freeway-riding biker, you can follow Yonge Street (known variously as routes 11, 1 and 4) all the way up from downtown Toronto to Gilford Road.
Please note that Google Maps misrepresents the location of our village, putting the name "Gilford" over the nearby but distinct village of "Gilford Beach." Also, entering our postal code (L0L 1R0) centres the map somewhere in northern Innisfil, several kilometers away from the schoolhouse.
That's about all I have to say right now. I've probably forgotten a number of important things, but I'm sure they'll come up in the comments. Also check past HuSistock missives through here to catch up on all that's been said before now.
Oooooooooh Nellie -- are y'all ready to have some fun?
We will just have to cope as best we can.
Decentralization is key, of course. In a slightly more ideal world (where we'd made more money this winter) we would provide for the greater share of your needs -- all food, all drink, all hotness, all shelter, all water -- but in the desert of the real I think the rule of thumb should be to make sure your own ass is covered insofar as is possible (sleeping apparatus, life-saving allergy medications, change of underwear) and then we'll all delight in filling in the gaps (beer, burgers, drinking water, mustard, land, et al.).
If you have a portable grill, please do bring it. In order to avoid bottlenecks at eating time we're trying to have as many sources of food-oriented hotness as possible. At the time of this writing we have not yet devised a grill for the bonfire-pit. So bring on the fire, if you gots!
I have become Hank Hill, for the first time in my life obsessed with the condition of my lawn. "It needs to be nice for camping!" I cry, picking out stones and watering the yellow bits (watering the grass! Me! Jesus Murphy Brown -- what next? Buying an SUV?) so they stay green and soft. Old Oak is planting fresh seed everywhere, to minimize the dusty bald patches that lend that white trash je ne sais quoi to the compound.
In that same spirit we have also carted away a bunch of scrap metal junk, and Old Oak even towed away the dead yard truck that's been slowly sinking into the grass in the back since the snow melted. We're gussying up right proper.
We have explained the whole premise to Mademoiselle J. She seems to get the gist of it, though she may think we are regrettably unSwiss in our cavalier dedication to unfettered playtime.
Some notes:
* A convenience store is located conveniently right nextdoor to our house, right by the big sign that advertises (falsely) HAR WARF! There you can buy tobacco, candy, porno magazines, or anything else you may need.
* Liquor stores and grocery stores are located within 10 minutes by car, in case you have special dietary needs, are especially picky, or wish to self-supply for some other reason.
* We will have a herbalist on premises. Reasonable rates, good results.
* Our giant dogs are now fenced inside their own run, so people who aren't fond of pony-sized pets may relax in peace.
* There is one small corner of the yard which will be clearly marked, in which thou shalt not trod without shoes. If you chose not to wear shoes within this designed area you assume all risk for any injuries you may and probably will sustain due to exposed scrap metal buried in the ground. Again, this area will be clearly marked.
* After much edifying discussion with our local liquor control authorities, we have determined that attempting to pay for kegs of beer in a decentralized fashion is illegal. Therefore, we will ask that you pay for beers by chucking the $2 into a basket which will be set clearly apart from the kegs, and labelled Save Ferris!
* There may or may not be a fishing trip available. Old Oak is outside swearing at his boat's motor right now. We'll see how it all pans out.
* If you have music you want played, bring it!
* If you have anything else you think you could contribute (banners, mics, grounded extension cords, fireworks, gasoline, fire-wood, network apparatus, silly hats, an effigy, copies of your own books or albums to sell or share, whatever), please do!
* We have a piano and a guitar. I think somebody needs to bring drums.
* Internet connection is 0.8 Mbps up, 5.0 Mbps down. We have accumulated two wireless routers. I plan to stick one of them on the end of a very long Ethernet cable, in order to get it as close to the backyard as possible. This is what they call network engineering when you're a dumb-ass artist. I'm open to better suggestions.
* If you have a crisis on the road or something, the number here is 1-705-456-9001. Long distance charges may apply and your call may be monitored for quality control and training purposes.
Driving to the Schoolhouse
We are located in the village of Gilford in the town of Innisfil in the county of Simcoe in the province of Ontario. We live just shy of the western coast of Lake Simcoe, by Cook's Bay. This is approximately 70 kilometers north of the Toronto city-centre.
Via 404
The 404 freeway runs north from the TransCanada/401 east-west freeway on the eastern end of Toronto. From downtown the 404 can be reached via the Don Valley Parkway.
* 407, 401 or DVP to 404Via 400
* Proceed NORTH on 404
* 404 Ends: Turn Left (WEST) on GREEN LANE EAST.
* Pass landmarks: West Gwillimbury GO Train Station, Silver City Colossus, Various Big Box Retail Cubes
* Turn Right (NORTH) on YONGE STREET (variously known as Routes 11, 1 & 4)
* Exit City of Newmarket, Pass through West Gwillimbury, Enter Town of Bradford.
* NB: In the Bradford town-centre and again on the outskirts you will have to turn right to stay on YONGE STREET (routes 11, 1 & 4) when it splits. In both cases Turn Right to continue in the correct direction. You will be making your way NORTH-WEST across town. If the sign doesn't say "Yonge Street" fret not -- trust in the Route Numbers (11/1/4), usually black on white with a little crown on top.
* Proceed NORTH on YONGE STREET to GILFORD ROAD (landmark: "Country Store" on the NE corner)
* The village of GILFORD is located on the east side of 20TH SIDEROAD. Slow down. On your right-hand (south) side will be a corn-field, a church, and a couple of houses. On your left-hand (north) side will be a small plaza, and an old schoolhouse with a tall steeple. Park on GILFORD ROAD until you receive long-term parking instructions from Littlestar.
The 400 freeway runs north from the TransCanada/401 east-west freeway on the western end of Toronto.
* Proceed NORTH on 400 to SIMCOE 89 (landmark: "Cooktown Outlet Mall" with red and white water-tower)Via Bicycle
* Turn Right (EAST) on SIMCOE 89.
* Turn Right (SOUTH) at YONGE STREET (variously known as routes 11, 1 & 4)
* Proceed one block SOUTH on YONGE STREET.
* Turn Left (EAST) on GILFORD ROAD (landmark: "Country Store" on the NE corner)
* Proceed EAST on GILFROD ROAD
* The village of GILFORD is located on the east side of 20TH SIDEROAD. Slow down. On your right-hand (south) side will be a corn-field, a church, and a couple of houses. On your left-hand (north) side will be a small plaza, and an old schoolhouse with a tall steeple. Park on GILFORD ROAD until you receive long-term parking instructions from Littlestar.
If you're not a freeway-riding biker, you can follow Yonge Street (known variously as routes 11, 1 and 4) all the way up from downtown Toronto to Gilford Road.
Please note that Google Maps misrepresents the location of our village, putting the name "Gilford" over the nearby but distinct village of "Gilford Beach." Also, entering our postal code (L0L 1R0) centres the map somewhere in northern Innisfil, several kilometers away from the schoolhouse.
That's about all I have to say right now. I've probably forgotten a number of important things, but I'm sure they'll come up in the comments. Also check past HuSistock missives through here to catch up on all that's been said before now.
Oooooooooh Nellie -- are y'all ready to have some fun?
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