Print Story Great Moments in "The Phantom Menace"
Star Wars
By tps12 (Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 03:24:05 AM EST) Star Wars, Phantom Menace, Sith, Yoda, Mace Windu (all tags)
Moment 16

The mysterious warrior was a Sith.

          Always two there
          more, no less. A master and an

               MACE WINDU
          But which one was destroyed,
          the master or the apprentice?
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Great Moments in "The Phantom Menace" | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Why the patriarchal slavish devotion to the plot? by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 4) #1 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 03:32:26 AM EST
Everyone already knows the main plot of Phantom Menace, whatever it is, instead we should be focusing on the minority characters. For instance, a scene by scene breakdown of handmaidens.

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holy crap that's creepy (nt) by tps12 (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 03:36:07 AM EST

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Mmmmm. Haaaandmaaaaaadenssssssss... by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 03:57:21 AM EST

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...and now I'm *done* with the Internet. by ti dave (4.00 / 3) #11 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 05:33:59 AM EST

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs

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So, the Sith have no institutional memory by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 03:35:26 AM EST
and a fairly terrible succesion plan? I think the Japanese Trade Association should have demanded a little more diligence on the part of the Sith before hitching their wagon to that star.

There's along tradition by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 03:46:07 AM EST
in many guilds and societies of promotion through assassination.

Palpatine himself rose by carefully placing his feet  on the dagger hilts he wedged in the back of his teacher.

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Yes, but there must be a Sith infrastructure by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 04:45:44 AM EST
You don't suppose Maul welded together his own infiltrator, do you? Can you see Palpatine picking up his own drycleaning?

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Drycleaning? by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #12 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 06:02:53 AM EST
This is teh future! No one does any of that stuff; robots do everything for you!

Hell, the only reason people even walk anywhere is exercise and because they like the look of flowing robes.

Even the slaves - did you ever see Anakin's mom doing any work? Nope, it was just feeding things into machines. Her clothes were clean and fresh - and that was in the middle of a desert.

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"A long time ago..." by dr k (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 09:07:06 AM EST
It only looks like the future.

:| :| :| :| :|

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Nah. I read some of the books by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #13 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 06:43:21 AM EST
Sith get all their gear from ancient ruined temples and from greedy, short-sighted traders.

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There are some subtle flaws by squigs (4.00 / 1) #9 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 05:00:18 AM EST
But that's what you'd expect after Lucas wove such a very delicate and subtle universal social structure. 

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How is the fact that by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #14 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 06:44:50 AM EST

Luke gets stashed with Vader's step-inlaws and Vader doesn't even think of this a "subtle flaw"?

And don't any of you obsessives who can't see the horseshit for the flies reply by saying "Ah, Vader really knew but was hiding it because he was good deep down" because that's smegma - a well-aimed blaster bolt could have killed Luke at any of hundreds of other points.

Lucas didn't "weave" anything - the plot is full of inconsistencies through which you could drive Star Destroyers.

Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
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No no no by squigs (4.00 / 1) #17 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 08:41:02 PM EST
It's all explained in the book "Return of the Darkness of the Evilness of the Sith Clones" - you know; the 17th official followup novel.  Where we learn that part of Vader's memory got lost when he fell into the pit of molten mercury.  This was replaced by a bit of C3PO's brain, which is why he can't remember anything. 

And Vader suddenly turning out to be Luke's father was planned all along, and Leia was always Luke's sister.  And.. and.. and a parsec is a measurement of time.  It's all true, I tell you[1]!

Don't you know anything?

[1]Actually, I've always put this down to an "impress the natives" speech by Han, where he's just rattling off a load of meaningless technobabble that sounds right.  Makes as much sense than any of the other fanwank.

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I'm sorry, by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 04:24:02 AM EST
but there just aren't "16 Great Moments" in that movie. There aren't.

wrong by tps12 (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 04:58:05 AM EST
As I have demonstrated scientifically, there are exactly 16 Great Moments in The Phantom Menace. The only question remaining is which Moment is the greatest.

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You forgot to mention my SnoCaps by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #10 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 05:07:01 AM EST
and taking off an hour early to hit the last cheap showing of the day. True highlights of my Phantom of the Clone Operas experience.

I'm really looking forward to Attack of the Sith Clone Menaces, I can pull up on my cycle, oozing masculinity and testerone, and watch the Star Wars fanboys wet their pants at my reeking display of testerone, masculinity, sweat and motor oil.

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how can you knock this scene? by alprazolam (4.00 / 1) #16 Mon Apr 11, 2005 at 09:26:22 AM EST
I'm pretty sure it was 100% necessary to set up the next movie.  Otherwise we would have probably all been clueless to understand what was going on.

Great Moments in "The Phantom Menace" | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback